went down a drain in Peru. front wheel went down through the gaps and as my loaded bike went over the handlebars so did I but my arms also went down the drain scraping all the way up to my elbows. Was pinned to the ground by my bike as bemused locals watched on. Painful

Once in a bonk-induced adrenaline heavy frenzy, a collision with a Scots pine popped my shoulder out, I flew through the air and the force as I hit the deck popped my shoulder back in & broke my clavicle.

Now my collarbone “meanders”.

Smashing, one up-manship posts are awesome.

I borrowed someone’s Tranny one nice day and it threw me against a wall, breaking my penis.

The A & E matron was NOT GENTLE! There was talk of “endoscopes” innit.

My wife fell off on our Honeymoon at Bike Verbier. Everyone had been warned not to fall left, and to walk if concerned. The standard of riding was high, and we all just trundled off. We were riding with a bunch of DH orientated Swedes (a brilliant week BTW)…

Anyway, the first we knew there was a problem was when we heard Lucy shout “HELP!”, and anyone who knows Lucy will know that this is about the last thing she’d ever do, so if she’s doing it it must be trouble.

We ran (and I mean RAN) back up the trail to see Lucy looking off the edge. Julie’s bike was still on the trail, but she’d tried to dab left, air-dabbed, then fallen into the void. She was maybe 20-25 feet down, clinging on, on near vertical grass, above a major (fatal) cliffband.

Lucy was urging her to not look down. Good advice.

A few of the Swedes were proposing that we should all strip and make a rope out of our clothes. I was looking about for a long sapling to rip out of the ground to lower down.

In the end we made a human chain and lowered Lucy down, and we all hauled and Lucy and Julie came back up.

Julie was pretty shaken up, but TBH she’d had a VERY lucky escape. The Swedes were very impressed and voted it crash of the week. Seeing as the week also included 2 broken wrists and a broken neck – yes, NECK – that was high praise indeed.

On the tandem traversing a slope – wobbled off down the slope – ended up with both of us feet above head, still clipped in and unable to unclip as the others weight was still on the bike. Not helped by the laughter it took a while to untangle

cfinnimore – Member

breaking my penis.

/Northwind gives up mountain biking

It’s ok Northwind, other words used in the consultancy room were “streched, tear, muscle, scar, leaking.”

No rumpity-pumpity for a fortnight. I also had to tell my parents, my employers, my colleagues and the “banterful” receptionists exactly what had happened.

Wee man’s never been the same.

I saw a lad go head first into a hole in the ground about 3 ft deep 18 inches dia, full of water, he would have drowned if we we were not immeadiatly behind him and pulled him out by his feet, which was difficult as he was thrashing about trying to get out..

I borrowed someone’s Tranny one nice day and
it threw me against a wall, breaking my penis.

Are we still talking about mountain biking? 😯

Knocked off my motorbike by a Cortina as a youngster.
Ended up flying through a plexiglass bus shelter, headfirst, into a group of concerned but startled pensioners.

Took out a frame of plexiglass and bust my kneecap on the alloy windowframe 😀
Stood up and pretended to be fine ’till the bus arrived, then sat down and cried whilst waiting for the ambulance.

Wrote off the Cortina, a new pair of 501 jeans and a perfectly decent Suzuki GP100.
Cheap polycarbonate lid split down the seam after hitting the bus shelter, but apart from the busted knee got away with a broken finger and some excellent bruises.

I miss motorbikes.

Not staged:

i went to ride through a massive puddle (at full pelt) up on leith/pitch/holmbury area. any way i flipped over the bars totally drenched and had a right horrible ride (i was 14/15 YO and i was in a group of about 18 guys. Oh how they laughed at me)