Son gets home from school, Mum's on her way home!
Son, Im ungry, wot can I eat?
Mum Some left over cheesy mash from last nite in fridge heat it up in microwave.
Son ow long 4?
Mum 4 1 minute.
41 MINUTES LATER! ONE VERY VERY BURNT CHEESY MASH IS SAT OUTSIDE ON THE PATIO!!!
We now have a very smoky house this evening!
your son ain't the smartest, is he now 
EDIT: or at least (to be fairer), not much common sense 
Bless him it's his birthday! and he's a little embarrassed! He actually only left it in there for 11 minutes before he realised something was wrong!
I lol-ed, and so did my wife 
Class!
I was home alone cooking chips in a frying pan when I was a kid and the pan caught fire, so I naturally poured a pan of water over it..
Won't do that again
Blimey Ian, you're lucky you're still here to tell the tale!
happy burfday lil Pep
When I was about 11, we had compulsory cooking lessons at school and the first lesson involved baking "scones". The night before the lesson, my mother was putting the ingredients together and kindly offered to weigh and bag the ingredients so that they were ready the next day. Easy peasy. So the next day, I blended all the ingredients together - including all of the the 750g salt dispenser - and baked my scones.
The cookery teacher spent a good 10 minutes dry retching into the sink after her first bite. She gave me a right telling off, despite my protestations, on the grounds that "nobody could be that stupid". I blamed my mother for giving me the wrong amount of salt and my mother later explained that it wasn't possible to assign "a pinch of salt" to its own container.....
Lol at tinners that would have been so funny watching the teacher!
Good one
We also had HE lessons as they were then called, which involved cooking. The results were flippin hilarious. Imagine the end of Masterchef gone very badly wrong
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