I’m genuinely unsure what misdemeanor I am supposed to have committed, but over the course of this week I’ve received a hostile response from the wife every time I’ve had the temerity to ask her a question.

Things reached a peak this morning when our youngest child was refusing to finish her breakfast. My wife was just about to head out the door to work. Rather than cause further conflict with the child, I asked my wife how much porridge had been eaten, with a view to letting child leave what was left if she’d already had enough to sustain her.

For some reason, this was a “ridiculous question” as I could see how much was still in the bowl. There wasn’t very much left in the bowl, but then again, I’d not seen how much had been served. To my mind – and correct me if I’m wrong – you cannot accurately calculate how much of something has gone, if you don’t know how much there was in the first place. Furious with my idiocy, wife leaves the house.

Now, what *was* idiotic was my next move. Worn down by a week of hostilities, I blindly determined that the best course of action would be to pick up the plastic bowl of porridge, march through to the kitchen where the kids wouldn’t see and over-arm throw it into the sink, a proper slamdunk with all my pathetic might. Whilst roaring “FAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRKK.”

This was immediately regrettable for many reasons, not least of which are:

1) This is not the appropriate behaviour of a rational adult and is completely out of character;
2) The noise alerted my wife, who then came back in the house to resume the conflict;
3) Porridge went absolutely everywhere. Everywhere.

It’s the decision gift that keeps giving, too, as every time I go back in the kitchen I find another blob of porridge that I’ve missed cleaning up. The coverage was just phenomenal.

Anyway, I’m not in the best of moods with myself at the moment, so tell me your tales of irrational barney behaviour, to help occupy the hours until the wife returns from work and doubtless wants to pick up where we left off.

Me and Mrs Weeksy had the closest thing we have to an argument last night after a £400 bill for the gas fire. I was going to put it on the CC, but the company don’t accept CC payments, so i had to pay it out of my saving account for Spain adventure later in the year.. I was deeply uninspired and bitchy about it apparently….

Forget the porridge mate, you need to find out what’s going on with Mrs Stunts (aka Cupid?)

3) Porridge went absolutely everywhere. Everywhere.

The kid had obviously not eaten much of it, why didn’t you get her to eat some more before throwing it everywhere?

you need to find out what’s going on with Mrs Stunts

^^^^This.

I’m with thepurist here. Something is going on with Mrs Stunts, and you need to have a calm sit-down with her to discuss it.

Any chance of a tete-a-tete after Stunt Jnr has gone to bed this evening?

Whatever you do, be calm and inviting… NOT accusatory.

Good luck!

It probably isn’t you. It sounds like Mrs Cupid has some other pressure that’s been taken out on you.

I once woke up to a weapons grade bollocking from the Ex for something I had apparently done in her dream.

Funny how sometimes trivial little things affect you more at home than at work isn’t it?

Porridge is a killer, when that dries it’s harder than cement. They should use it to build houses

Sounds like you just let it all oat.

Young kids = tiredness = frustrations = take out on the ones closest to you.

Sometimes my wife gets frustrated and says things / acts in ways I don’t really expect her to towards me. Then I notice she does it to the kids sometimes too so I accept it is just things getting on top of her – we do struggle with one of our girls waking in the night (she is now 7) so my wife never gets a good night’s sleep because she finds it difficult to get back off once woken (I generally fall back off again if I am up in the night with her)

The longer you leave it, the worse it will get and she will probably end up forgetting what it was that was annoying her, which will in turn cause her to be more stubborn as does not want to lose face and back down… this is how things go with me anyway. Good luck!

I’m just guessing here, but the request wasn’t for a detailed analysis of porridge intake, just for you back her up by telling your kid to eat his/her breakfast.

She’s issued an executive order to the kid, you’ve arrived and starting getting all supreme court-y. Just back her up and don’t disagree with her in front of the nipper. Save that for in private when she won’t feel like her authority is being undermined.

Then again, Your Marriage Methods May Vary..

The appropriate response is to talk about it later.

I threw the sky remote at the telly a few months ago during a similar “WTF” argument. Not my finest moment, but we now have a new Smart TV, so not all bad!

I can’t even remember what the argument was about now.

Completely lost with the Cupid references…? Haven’t been on here much recently.

Believe me, I have repeatedly tried to unearth what’s causing the problem, to no avail. Suspect stress at work (which she simply doesn’t talk about and never has done), as I genuinely haven’t done anything wrong, as far as I can tell.

For those concerned about a hungry child, it transpired that she’d eaten quite a lot already.

ended up with a child lol

Sounds like you just let it all oat.

Get out!

😆

I had an ex that could argue black was white. We once had a blazing row – like, to the degree I thought she was going to punch me out – over whether the key to the gas cupboard in the garage was square or triangular.

Completely lost with the Cupid references…?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

I had an ex that could argue black was white. We once had a blazing row – like, to the degree I thought she was going to punch me out – over whether the key to the gas cupboard in the garage was square or triangular.

trump?

Also check out Kenny Everett on youtube for Cupid Stunt. All in the best possible taste…

Cupid Stunt – the late Kenny Everett –

don’t shoot me – just saying

Yep you need to find out what is upsetting her – but choose your moment… very very carefully.

Did she ask why you did it? Why you thought it would be a good idea to throw the bowl into the sink? DO YOU EVER EVEN THINK!!!

Pleased with the explanation of Cupid, hadn’t occurred to me before but I’ll take that.

I was beginning to fear there’d been another forum user called Cupid who’d been posting earlier about how their husband was a porridge-throwing arsehole.

I remember a similar incident when our youngest was a baby. Stupid argument with my wife, porridge bowl thrown in sink, porridge everywhere.

I’d like to say it was the stress of having young children, it was pressure at work, or it was a bad patch.

But it wasn’t. It was because we were fundamentally unsuited as a couple, had irreconcilable differences, and are now much happier apart 😀

LTB

^ +1 LTB

Worn down by a week of hostilities,

Uneaten porridge ain’t your problem.

All the best in sorting the root cause. Best done after the tiddlers are in bed.

Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is “yes dear”.

Leather The Bitch ?

Seems excessive… but i’m not one to disagree with a course of action.

Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is “yes dear”.

Not “shut up and blow me” ?

LTB

Learn To Behave?

Lick the Bowl?

Lock the Bathroom?

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

Launch The Breakfast.

Laconically Talk Back?

Large Tubeless Badger?

I gave a wall a few proper punches in a stupid rage just before Christmas. The wall didn’t care but my fist regretted it…

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

Not surprising if you did it in the sink….

Remember, the most useful phrase in marriage is “yes dear”.

It’s banned in our house.

Although I’ve found a way of saying ‘Yes’ with an implied ‘dear’ at the end that I deploy when we’re having a full and frank exchange of views.

This irritates her no end apparently. I’m all #innocentface, obvs.

A man realises he’s married when he finds out he’s on the 4th day of an argument he didn’t even know he was having.

I once got a full-on screaming-fit rollocking for NOT sleeping with a girl we both knew some 25yrs back..

Still trying to figure that one out.

johndoh – Member

Hmm, last time I chucked my porridge I seem to remember she got a bit upset.

Not surprising if you did it in the sink….

😆