I was a little mythed as to why we, (Fil, Mil and wifes grandad) managed to go through eight toilet rolls in the space of four hours, while waiting for my wife to return from work on Christmas day.

It transpired that the wifes 94 year old grandad is the worse shot ever in the pi$$ing department and every visit to the little boys room for him, was followed up by the Mil to mop up the “excess” showered all over the floor. Thank god that we now have a tiled floor and not a carpet….

Fair play to him though, he’s 94, on the day drank drank two bottles of wine, half a bottle of champagne and a very large port as a nightcap.

One of the last of a very special generation of people who have morals and showed respect to others. An honour to have him around at anytime not just Christmas.

Taking the pigs out of their blankets! WTF!!! OMG!!!

Oh, and not flushing the bog. The in-laws like to save water. No idea why, they have plenty…

But, their philosophy for toilet flushing is to let 3-4 piles of crap accumulate

Between my brother and I we’d have filled it after two sessions!

Now this is cathartic….

I was beginning to think I was the only one with mental inlaws

Lunge – I’m get married in a weeks time and had exactly the same conversation with the MiL. She would also like her own special song to walk down the aisle to. I very politely told her to get @~”&*^&*%

And surely leaving a chocolate hostage in the toilet is just plain dangerous. I generally need 2 or 3 flushes every visit to get rid of the evidence. 😀

27 folk trying to watch mrs browns boys christmas special on a tiny telly me going the other way trying to get out. Dont see the attraction one bit.

Followed by granny needing to be centre of attention.

My inlaws how ever are quite sane for as mad as my girlfriend thinks they are 🙂 – my family are the night mare as some aunts and uncles dont speak to each other/cant even be in same room.

Funerals and weddings are chaos . Our wedding will be hell as my dads mum and dad have not spoken or seen each other in te 26 years ive been alive . And i think since my dad was 14.

What is it that’s said? You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.

My brother’s girlfriend spent the last 2 christmases with us, and this has made us understand that playing boardgames, insanely competitively, until 4am is not normal behaviour. First year she had a crying fit after a huge argument about the rules of monopoly (rules are IMPORTANT damnit!), this year she just said no, I’m not playing thankyou, you’re all mental.

What is it that’s said? You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.

True, but there’s also “Blood is thicker than water”. Mind you, whoever said that probably forgot about ice…

To be fair they are lovely, but

The thermostat is never below 30
Every radiator is cranked up fully
Every light in a room on, lamps and ceiling
No music in the house ever

Sometimes I wonder if we’d all better off not treating Xmas as a family occasion at all and just spending it on our own

We’ve done this for years. Just the 2 of us, 3 now, with Ted the dog.
It had just got to the point where Christmas Day was spent driving all over. We don’t have kids so it was kind of expected we’d travel to family that do cos ‘its all about the kids’ which is kind of fair enough. However, when you have worked your nads off and could really do with relaxing, to spend the day travelling around, only to spend time mostly sitting with folk (my side of things) who were too engrossed in playstation etc to really notice we were around got a touch erm, tedious….
Routine now – get up, relaxed brekkie, presents, ring round important folk, walk the dog, meet friends in pub, couple of beers, home (light fire, if appropriate) enjoy Christmas lunch over the rest of the day, sleep.
We do catch up with family but on an ‘as and when’ basis – no pressure for anyone to roll out ‘the perfect Christmas meal’ for everyone.

b r – Member

BREAD SAUCE. WTF. I thought they were having a laugh when they told me what the funny looking white sauce with cloves stuck in it was? I mean, Bread….Sauce????

Showing your age I’m afraid, standard Christmas Dinner staple for those of us over 40.

Standard for me too and I’m 33!

Not the in-laws, who are generally great, but my own M :

Constant weather updates.
All sorts of crap information, which must be absolute gospel as ‘they’ say so, whoever the **** ‘they’ are.
Reminding us every five minutes to give the dog his medication, like we’ve been doing perfectly happily every day for the last six years without needing reminding.
Constant questions about what time we’re going to do this and what time we’re going to do that. Usually not even today but three days hence.
Absolute silence required required during *insert name of garbage soap opera here* or Downton Abbey, but talks endlessley over the top of anything worthwhile that we’re trying to watch.

Hurrumph.

She would also like her own special song to walk down the aisle to.

Since when has the mother of the bride walked down the aisle?

Moe – Member

What is it that’s said? You can choose your friends but you can’t choose your family.

But you can choose to import your woman from overseas, therefore maintaining a healthy distance between yourself and the in-laws. 8)

How about Trick of the Witch by Poly Styrene?

Good tune that….

She would also like her own special song to walk down the aisle to.

What about this?

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsSGY22n8ZY[/video]

or this…

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5YQmUIIjvs[/video]

Can I suggest Sir Cliff’s Devil Woman.

I remember hearing on a local radio station once, a mother requesting a tune for her daughters wedding …… ‘Band of Gold’! Being charitable I thought charitably, she had obviously not listened to the lyrics …. or had she? I wonder if the presenter even realised what he was doing and did he get any flack?!

Straying off topic a bit!