Hiya everyone, as above really. I’m a bit worried about it, it’s all so foreign to me over that way. Will I get eaten alive? will my car survive? what do I have to have to avoid random searches by the Trolley Staff? What paperwork do I need? Will it work ok, when anthing goes wrong I just plead ignorance and say ” Hello I’m form London doncha know”

…Thanks in advance. It really is a bit step for me.

1) Yes
2) No
3) Maybe
4) Avocado
5) Henry VIII
6) Tuesday

7) Heavy flow – with ‘wings’

Sorry. The stress and excitement is getting to me. I’ve corrected my spelling before someone eats me before I even get in the car…

Hiya everyone, as above really. I’m a bit worried about it, it’s all so foreign to me over that way. Will I get eaten alive? will my car survive? what do I have to have to avoid random searches by the Trolley Staff? What paperwork do I need? Will it work ok, when, if, anything goes wrong I just plead ignorance and say ” Hello I’m from London doncha know”

…Thanks in advance. It really is a big step for me.

BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
😀

I’ve complied a supermarket car park etiquette list for you. Make sure you follow it so you fit in.

1. Disabled places aren’t really for disabled people, anyway, they get a car allowance.
2. Mother and child places aren’t really for mothers with children, anyway, they’ve had a good rogering.
3. If neither disabled nor mother and child places are available, DO NOT park in a normal slot, simply drive round until one of the above becomes available.
4. Bitch about the chap who is vacating the spot you’re about to drive into. ‘He’s not disabled, he’s only got a bit of a limp/one leg/no legs’
5. Do not park in between the two lines, that’s a beginners mistake, ensure at least two spaces (three if you’ve got a fuckmobile 4×4) are used. Do not show any guilt at not being able to park, don’t even look back.
6. Extra points for slamming your door into the car next to you.
7. When you return, use the car next to yours to rest your trolley against. DO NOT Return the trolley to the shelter, trolleys live in empty parking spaces, everyone knows that.
8. The speed limit for a supermarket car park is the same as on an autobahn, it’s a challenge , not a limit.
9. You are the most important person in the world. Do not stop for people walking their trolleys about, do not let anyone out.
10. Make sure you leave your handbag on top of the car as you drive out, please!

I’m confused about this high vis rule, and what about insurance?

10 point car park etiquette – class 🙂

Do not listen to the bit about parking in handicapped spots unless you are qualified.

Those are reserved for people with master-race cars such as Audi, BMW, and Range Rover. Lesser beings should stay away.

dont do it

just get delivery

Start small and work up to the big supermarket. Can you handle a Tesco Express confidently? If so move on to a town centre version. Do not under any circumstances leap into shopping at a large supermarket. You will get lost and the night staff are allowed to eat un-claimed customers whilst shelf stacking.

take a copy of the Bible* to show the check out person that you really have found everything you need

*other good books are available

1. Disabled places aren’t really for disabled people, anyway, they get a car allowance.
2. Mother and child places aren’t really for mothers with children, anyway, they’ve had a good rogering.
3. If neither disabled nor mother and child places are available, DO NOT park in a normal slot, simply drive round until one of the above becomes available.

Note that many larger stores now have areas very close to the door marked “Dropping off zone” or “Pick up point”. These are actually dedicated parking spaces for your personal and exclusive use, and are normally far more convenient than using the disabled/child spaces.

after parking your pride and joy don’t forget to drop yr pants and wave your favourite organ at the security camera to check that someone really is monitoring the carpark for the safe enjoyment of your leisure experience – if a security guard thinks your test of the system was a bit stiff blame it on the breeze and point them to the sign that says the management have no responsibility for anything that happens in the carpark

err this thread hasn’t really gone where I was intending it to.

Ermmm, maxxis high rollers – super tacky?

Oh no. You’ve got me worried about tyres now though. Will I need to beef up the suspension on the Metro to cope with the speed bumps?

from London and driving a Metro!!!!!!!

YOU ARE the Late People’s Princess and I claim my prize!

samuri, you are god.

No, he’s a Manchester tram driver gone to undermine the tube strike