I've got the day off work, the kids are in school, and I'm spoilt for choice. Should I (a) make myself some toast, (b) go the whole hog and make a bacon sarnie, (c) go out on the bike, or (d) waste the rest of the morning on here then have a mid-day bout of vigorous yet guilt inducing self abuse?

B then C then D? A seems a waste.

Isn't it great to have options?!

I reckon there's time in the day for a bacon sarnie and a ride, and once you've been out you'll need a shower which can be usefully combined with some self-pleasuring. Then say 10 hail-marys and have some toast. 🙂

could you not do the self abuse element of d) to completion whilst waiting for a) to pop-up?

Treat it as a challenge 😉

So. How's it going?

Initially went for (b), but had bacon and egg sarnies. Still not sure about the rest of 'barnsleymitch's day of fun'.

The whole day is just going to slide by if you're not careful.

Since you're here, here's a picture of Sophie Dahl and some tissues:

Noooooo!

See, you can't even raise a semi. Now go and ride your bike. 😉

(D) using hot buttered toast?

Just in case you're thinking of an all-day 'D', here's an incentive to get out on your bike –

has she got very bad piles?

I believe the technical term is a 'gunt'.

Since you're here, here's a picture of Sophie Dahl and some tissues:

I have covered my eyes with the tissues. Now what?

Dahl is a MINGER