The most important thing to bear in mind, at all times, no matter what, is to look cool.
Shave your legs and apply a thin film of oil to enhance the coolness, lose lots of weight so you can wear closer-fitting clothes whilst looking cool, and work on your super-cool-thousand-yardmetre-death-stare.
Whenever you pass oncoming traffic, close your mouth and breathe through your nose – it looks cooler.
Whenever you stop at traffic lights, avoid letting passers-by see you pain by holding your breath… It looks cooler.
Don’t attach anything to your bike – it’s not cool.
Watch bike races, see how cool they look, and focus on emulating them.
K’s are cool, miles, not so cool.
And Strava… It’s cool.