chance would be a fine thing tj. 
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I'm giving my sister away at her wedding and need advice for the speech.
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Posted 2 years ago #
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I think the problem is taking the "giving away" bit to literally. None of the women I know would dream of being given away if you take it literally - the idea that my sister was my property to give away is somewhat laughable. But most if not all would like their father (or brother) to play a symbolic role in their wedding. It's just tradition and a phrase - a phrase which doesn't have any deeper meaning, however much the PC literalists might like to claim it does. You could call it "accompanying" or "supporting" if you like, but the role wouldn't be any different, I suppose it might keep the PC fascists happy though.
Should have challenged eldridge on his comparison to the N word earlier - that's a ridiculous comparison, the two things are completely different.
Posted 2 years ago # -
take that answer ^ tj thats what i mean but i have had to many beers now.
Posted 2 years ago # -
we are not married despite being together for 30 yrs
Presumably because she wanted her father to give her away and you objected that it was demeaning to her?Posted 2 years ago # -
The symbolism in to words is important tho - "Giving away" dates from when women were chattels.
Accompany / support sounds clumsy - i'll give you that
PC is important - moving away from non perjorative use of language. thats all it is.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The meaning of words changes, TJ.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I rather like the symbolism inherent even in the most modern of wedding ceremonies (I've seen a few (bazillion), as a wedding tog). All that nonsense is somehow what makes the whole thing very special - passed down through aeons and all that...
To the OP - Yes, make it original, make it heartfelt, do NOT talk about those conspicuous by their absence for more tahn 10 seconds (everyone will cry and it'll cast a pall on the day), feel free to have a bit of a laugh, and finally, for the love of God, please do not scour the internet.
A girl at our wedding last year did the whole Apache Wedding Cr@p Blessing and it nearly made me vomit on my new bride - heard it so many times and it's never got any better or more relevant to our culture...
Posted 2 years ago # -
I am being a bit of a wind up here - hence the Millie Tant reference.
Aracer - her dad was dead before we met
We are not married because neither of us believe in it. We need no piece of paper to show our love nor do we need anyone's permission to live together, We might have taken a different course if we had wanted kids - but again neither of us did.
Posted 2 years ago # -
PC is important - moving away from non perjorative use of language. thats all it is.
I fundamentally disagree. PC as an end in itself (which is the standpoint you're arguing from) is one of the least important things possible. Non pejorative language is a fine aim, but in order to be pejorative the words have to be offensive, and the only people being offended by the phrase "giving away" are the PC police.You're not the only one who likes an argument for the sake of an argument, TJ
(apologies if I touched a nerve with my trolling).
Posted 2 years ago # -
user-removed - That Apache wedding prayer is about as relevant to Apache culture as it is to ours; it was written in the 50s for a cowboy film. Was probably read out by a white actor blacked up in whatever film it was for too. Get your teeth into that one TJ.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Nae worries - this one don't bother me.
I do think the language is important - why don't we use N***** anymore? Thats a change PC has made in our language. There are people who take it far too far tho. I know a lot of people who are / would be offended by being "given away"
Non pejorative language is a good thing
Posted 2 years ago # -
Surely he would have been redded up?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Wait... TJ made an un-PC statement! Someone get this moment on film.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Christ on a bike. The guy only wanted some advice and the thread has been hijacked by the PC ****t brigade who would argue with their shadow.
FWIW - One 'giving the bride away' speech which worked well incorporated a slide show with (short) amusing anecdotes showing the bride at different ages. It takes the pressure off the speaker and can be used, if appropriate, to acknowledge the brides father.
Posted 2 years ago #
Topic Closed
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