Has anyone been in this situation? I'm looking for any ideas or advice.
Thanks.
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I'm giving my sister away at her wedding and need advice for the speech.
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Posted 2 years ago #
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"well I tried selling her but the buyer never collected, oh well at least I'm able to give her away"
"I wouldn't mind so much but ebay are now chasing me for the sellers fees"Posted 2 years ago # -
Don't say anything along the lines of "if she wasn't my sister..."
Posted 2 years ago # -
To prevent any come abck, make sure you outline your returns policy (continuing the ebay theme..)
Posted 2 years ago # -
dont copy anything from the net (99% of the crowd would have heard it before), write it from the heart.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I think the typical jokes are naff and degrading and often they are what people remember. I'd go for the sincere and heartfelt. Don't try to be funny but sometimes brilliant witticisms just kind of happen.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I haven't, but whatever you're tempted to say, bear carefully in mind that for these purposes your sister is a near-perfect human being possessed of great beauty, intelligence, good-humour, wit, kindness and substance, that she has always been very close to you and that you are very proud of her.
Especially if you're giving her away because of a lack of parents you must absolutely stand in for her parents. Anything else is going to come across as small and cheap.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I know your not the best man, but their is some good material here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FrODSdxte9Q
or
http://www.vidz.com.au/video/538/Comedy-Inc-Best-man-speech
even
Posted 2 years ago # -
Please reassure us that you're using the phrase "giving my sister away" in a sort of ironic, post-feminist way. Please?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Well it doesn't read like any of the others who've replied have been in that situation, so I'm the first. I gave my sister away 10 years or so ago (hey I'm her brother, I'm allowed not to remember exactly how long she's been married). Certainly don't use any of the lines so far suggested, nor anything from a best man speech. It should be original and not cliched. Also you're not actually required to say very much at all - leave most of the embarrassing stories to the best man (though feel free to feed him a bit of material
).Personally I didn't play it totally straight in the way the father of the bride would usually, but then I don't think my sister expected me to. Was only very mild teasing though, and certainly more polite than what I might come out with outside that context. The thing is you are supposed to be the straight man and being nice about your sister - if all you come out with are smart arse remarks and embarrassing stories it won't go down very well. Just how impolite you can be rather depends on your relationship with her.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Once again, for the socially, historically and culturally retarded on here:
Please reassure us that you're using the phrase "I give my sister away" in a sort of ironic, post-feminist way.
Please?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Exactly what problem do you have with that particular phrase, eldridge? If you're getting upset about sexism, then maybe you should stop to consider that it's generally women who are more into the traditional stuff with weddings, which that phrase and what it involves is a (small) part of. Or are you so uptight with moral outrage that you're giving a cameo part in the wedding day theatre rather deeper significance than it actually has?
Posted 2 years ago # -
I don't think for a microsecond that he's tried to sell her but can't find any buyers so is shoving her into a passing lorry bound for the slave pits. So, I too am puzzled about the problem with using that phrase.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I am soooo all about the slave pits maaan.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I did the same thing - around 20 years ago for my sister (old man had been six feet under for quite a while) - I just got a few stories from my mum and wrote a heartfelt speech, practised it and went from there.
It's a special thing to do, you'll remember it for a long time.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Can you get hold of a Goat? Tie it up in the corner of the room and after a while say 'oh and I give my sister along with a Goat as payment'
Posted 2 years ago # -
No pressure, but.
Memorise it with heckling/change of subject option.
Create your own speech, not an off the shelf insert your words here one.You must have known your sister all her life? If you can memorise words to a song or gear ratios you can manage a speech.
Posted 2 years ago # -
If it was me I'd think back to your earliest memories of her and start there. A sort of roadtrip upto date.
What would be nice is some emotions or things that you have never told her- reveal them now. Maybe the time you nicked something from her or blamed something on her etc. Or how special you thought she looked once.
Did she go away to Uni (or you?) How did you feel at that moment when you left or realised you wouldnt see her? Funny moment there or a nice one.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Haven't given away my sister, but was asked to do it for a close friend a few years back.
Warm affection is definitely the tone you're aiming for - this is her big day and you don't want to **** it up by trying to outdo the best man. I went with one or two reminiscences (?) that were very gentle teasing and concluded with some comments about what I valued in her as a friend, how privileged I felt to be part of her day, and how good it was that she was going to be sharing her life with such a great guy - last bit harder if you happen to think your sister's hubby is a jerk.
Basically, if elderly ladies are dabbing their eyes and smiling at you/her when you finish, you've done a good job.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Eldridge, don't worry. The phrase "giving away" now has no meaning. It's a bit like saying "filming a video", "airbrushing a digital picture" "hoovering with a dyson".
The role of "giver away" has two responsibilities.
(1) Emotional support so that she doesn't have to walk through the ceremony room to the registrar on her own.
(2) Physical support with the offering of a practical arm thus preventing any trips or falls.On the morning of the wedding my brother in-law to be and myself will be doing this little road ride. Hope we don't get lost or have an accident. Hey, what's the worst that can happen?
Credit goes to ridewithgps.com for the image
Posted 2 years ago # -
You're essentially doing father of the bride role, so it should be, as others have said, nice about her, how lovely she looks, what a lucky bloke the groom is etc, maybe a gentle tease, but nothing too outrageous. don't be afraid to be emotional, my dad had the entire crowd in tears in his speech.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Ride looks good - definitely a cool idea to go out to do something with future BiL when you're "giving away" your sister. I went out kayaking with my BiL on the morning of his wedding (ISTR going out in a K4 with a couple of other guys from his club, but could be wrong). We have very similar interests and I often get on better with him than I do with my sister!
Posted 2 years ago # -
socially, historically and culturally retarded
Oh the irony, someone so up themselves about an event that has absolutely nothing to do with them that they use that choice phrase above. Surely the word "retarded" has no place on the lips of someone so sensitive to correct phraseology? C0ck!
Enjoy the day and do a good job of supporting your sister. I have no idea of your family circumstances but I'm assuming you are number 2 choice for this supporting role. In which case a nod to that and how how proud the number 1 choice would have been might be nice. I have a couple of friends that had lost parents before they were married and were pretty cool about it until "their" day and then suddenly found themselves struggling a little. It's the little touches that make the difference - e.g. a bottle of something fizzy delivered to the Bride as she is getting ready; pertinent tunes for the background in the car on the way to the ceremony; making sure she doesn't get wet if it's raining.
Posted 2 years ago # -
last year I went to a lot of weddings, one of those years where a lot of them collide - and I play in a band that does wedding gigs, so I've seen speeches go well and badly. as far as i can see there are 3 points to remember
1) gentle jokes - will still get a laugh and no one will be pissed off. if your sister has a wild side, intimate (again gently). dirty jokes and stories are to be told at the bar afterwards
2) tell her she is great. there is no reason to not do that
3) KEEP IT SHORTnumber 3 is the most important one. not least because the best man will be shitting it and you don't want to torture him, and also the guests want to eat then dance and get drunk, the speeches are a bit of fun not a royal performance (oh yeah, no powerpoint!).
best of luck, I'm sure you'll be fine
Posted 2 years ago # -
The phrase "giving away" now has no meaning.
Like the word nig**r has no meaning?
Language means what it says and it means what it implies
"Giving away" will truly have no meaning when brothers feel comfortable inviting their sisters to "give them away" (i.e not in our lifetimes)
In a reasonably enlightened marriage, no-one is "given" to anyone. Two people of equal status agreed to join together. It's not a business transaction, it's not a gift from one family to another, it's not a tribal ritual featuring women as goods and chattels.
I don't believe that in 2010 we've still got men "giving away" women
Oh and I'm not
uptight with moral outrage
I just have a mother, a wife, and two daughters - all fine women who would never accept that they were property to be "given away"
it's generally women who are more into the traditional stuff with weddings
No - it's just generally the type of women you know - which means you've not met a very wide cross-section of women
Posted 2 years ago # -
If it actually did anybody any harm to indulge in a bit of theatre on a special day, then you might have a point. As it is, you are everything you deny being. It's probably true that I haven't met a very wide cross section of women, but it's not the independent feminist ones who are missing from my acquaintance - have been to the weddings of a few "tomboy" types, and they all seem to go for lots of traditional stuff.
Given I don't really manage close friends, one of the issues I've always had with getting married has been choosing a best man (from the perspective that I don't know anybody where I'd even be on the shortlist to be their best man). You may have solved my problem for me - I'll get my sister to give me away (so you're wrong about that too).
Posted 2 years ago # -
Eldridge is right here - and the women I know wouldn't dream of "being given away" - you can be a tomboy and still not understand that language is power and by accepting being "given away" they are accepting the status of chattels.
Posted 2 years ago # -
TJ - Totally disagree. In fact, by trying to make out that women who ASK a loved one to give them away are somehow mentally deficient, brow beaten or lacking in some other manner, you're making a judgement on them that is every bit as bad as the one you see.
Posted 2 years ago # -
nah tj you need to chill out there old bean.
the mrs is the most self assured woman i know and it matters to her that we get round to getting it tied before her dad is to old to give her away.
its just romance nowt else.Posted 2 years ago # -
I didn't say that - I said they accepting the status of a chattel. consciously or unconsciously - thats what they are doing. You do not "give away" a independent human being. You "give away" a chattel. I don't like to see people as property
Posted 2 years ago # -
or is it passing on the responsibility to look after her?
Posted 2 years ago # -
And how patronising is that?
the responsibility to look after her?
I like independent human beings and partnerships of equals!
Posted 2 years ago # -
You did say that. You're passing judgement on people and using the phrase "consciously or unconsciously" is another pointer.
Posted 2 years ago # -
so you dont look after your mrs then tj?
and does she look after you?Posted 2 years ago # -
Atlaz - read the words I wrote FFS - they mean exactly what I say. People don't always think about the symbolism inherent in words.
Nonk - she is my equal. I do not patronise her. You going to get her to agree to obey you as well in the marriage vows as well?
I am Millie Tant and I claim my own fiver.
Edit - we are not married despite being together for 30 yrs
Posted 2 years ago #
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