So how you folks doing while I was away? Naughty?

I was without news (internet etc) for nearly 5 weeks in the far east 😯

What have I missed? 😆

Trip was alright but I was knocked out by medication for high blood pressure for a week. That thing is lethal. Stopped taking after 4 days … contracted some red eye infection while there. Sort out my lower back using traditional massage. Some sort of tangled/trapped nerves. Was told not to carry heavy weights. 🙁

edit: some political zombie maggots over there really boil my piss …

I’m fine thanks 😆

iPhone 6 iS out..

What have I missed?

Eleventythousand threads about Scotland

Thought I’d lost my pen but I found it in my draw.

didnt even realise you were gone…welcome back though!!

WCA is building a shed

World peace, an end to disease and a new iPhone.

I had some Quorn mince and it gave me gas.

contracted some red eye infection while there

Yeah yeah. “Just walked past some incense” did you?

political zombies

You quite sure it wasn’t a 5 week ban?

I only hope that you have been behaving yourself and not bringing this fine forum and forumites into disrepute, now draw us all a picture to describe what you have been up to, that’s a good lad ! , you’ve got 8 weeks……crack on !

Who are you?

Who am I?

What is us?

Actually, that sounded a bit rude. I didn’t mean to be rude, just teasing.

“Hello again chewkw, I hope you had fun. Nice to see you again.”

I’ve only blooming lost it again!

You couldn’t make it up.

iPhone or smart phone 😡 Yeah even in the far east farmers got this technology. Not sure what use to them … they were very surprised to see my mobile not being “smart”. Also they kept asking me to install WhatsApp for chatting … 😯 FFS! It’s a mobile phone so use it to communicate rather than sending each other some rude pictures … 🙄

I was not banned but going away for “holiday”. The place was too hot for me and felt like sitting in an oven.

Anyway, some mates there started MTBiking … 😆 So told me to get my bike over there in future. Any of you lot like to MTB in North Borneo?

There was an epidemic of red eye infection over there (Thailand) and I caught it from my nephews but they were rather immune while I could not even open my eyes.

cbmotorsport – Member

Who are you?

Zombie maggot. 😆

There goes the neighbourhood.

Welcome back to the fold brother.

Apparently some people have been out on their bikes. Well… they say they have. Don’t believe a bloody word of it myself

Also if you intend to visit North Borneo you better do it soon as the whole place is slowly being sold off to some Chinese investors to build 5* hotels near the coast/beach park. I mean bloody corrupted politicians just sold off the entire land as if they owned it. The coast line will soon be blocked by high rise concrete blocks preventing locals from seeing the beautiful sea side/sunrise/sunset. Talking about corrupted politicians over there they do it big time. Turn themselves into Billionaires …

edit: over there you will find career politicians as well as dynastic politicians (father handing downing power to children/relatives just because they can).

edit: Thailand is far better with martial law. Really. We drove through few checks points and I could see truck load of armies with machine guns. They were trying to arrest corrupt politicians on the run from previous gov’t. Good on them.

Thailand is far better with martial law.

Yeah sure, especially the tourist islands, apparently.

Mr Woppit – Member

Thailand is far better with martial law.

Yeah sure, especially the tourist islands, apparently.

I just read that news two days ago. Very sad. According to my father that place is frequent by fishermen from other countries so there is high possibility the culprit(s) is not local.

The martial law will deal with the culprit(s) swiftly once they are caught and they will probably not walk this earth again.

edit: please be careful while in other countries as they are not really what they seem to be. Even for us traveling to the remote regions we had to be constantly on alert because there are highway robbers I kid you not. Even our guide would avoid certain regions because of different speaking accent in a big country. For female travelers you are advised not to expose too much of your body because the men there are not used to seeing female in this way and especially foreign pale skin female.

Your enthusiasm for martial law and automatic death sentences leads me to assume that you are some kind of c*n*.

Unless it’s a “persona”, of course.

I have slept with all the ladies in the Accounts Dept

Mr Woppit – Member

Your enthusiasm for martial law and automatic death sentences leads me to assume that you are some kind of c*n*.

Unless it’s a “persona”, of course

I am afraid your views on martial law and death sentences are skewed but I can understand your sentiment from the western perspective. You are not local to the region so perhaps you have difficulty understanding them. In fact life goes on as normal in that region as the govt leaves the people alone to let them get on with their lives. No nanny state I am afraid. I mean people there live alongside each other happily i.e. they have former red army, former Chinese Nationalists (Kuomintang) (retreated from red army China), different ethnicity (I mean people in Laos/Burma/Cambodia just come to live in Thailand etc or cross the border at will sometimes), and also religious freedom so long as you are not a hate preacher. However, if you have committed heinous crime then you suffer the consequences severely.

Nothing to do with persona but rather a fact of life in that part of the world.

I am afraid I don’t know where you stand on ideology but if you are like one of my die hard “red army” friend (in GeordieLand) then I guess you are way outdated. As far as I know, in that part of the world regardless of ideology or belief, they have one common agreement that is if a person commits heinous crime then that person must be eradicated.

🙄

hora – Member

I have slept with all the ladies in the Accounts Dept

He is my hero … 😆 Make me laugh all the time.

edit: however, in Borneo the situation is totally different. Democracy or freedom is only in name only if you do not belong to a particular religion. Ya, they still execute you if you commit heinous crime.

Sunderland’s not that bad…

So you’ve been back a little while now, how does it feel?

It feels like having your brain smashed out with a slice of lemon; wrapped around a large gold brick.

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Boo9llCz4CM#t=32[/video]

jambourgie – Member
Sunderland’s not that bad…

Yes it is

bikebouy – Member

So you’ve been back a little while now, how does it feel?

I feel weird.

One minute I was in a remote village living in a house with temperature as high as 35c (both countries same roasting hot), the next minute I was back at GeordieLand airport with the immigration officer trying to type in my detail into the pooter but the pooter said “No”. Asked me some questions like “do you live alone and do you work here? hmmm … was tempted to say “Old chap have you been drinking too much?” (I mean it is none of his business really. I mean do immigration officers ask the British people the same questions?) I am a legal “Geordie” who has sworn my allegiance to the Queen and the Geordie, so I just told him I live and work here then told him to check his database for details, but he was still struggling to fill in the details because I was traveling with a different passport. 😈 Anyway, no big deal but rather having a chat with immigration officer where I would say “I bet the pooter says nnooooo”. He agreed. 😆

To be frank it is a bit of a culture “shock” each time I traveled between UK and the far east i.e. completely different life style and culture. I mean I had to re-tune my spoken English again each time I come back. Then once back to the GeordieLand I have to readjust my lifestyle but at least I don’t have to fight off the mosquito and it’s easier for me to sleep in a cooler climate. Bear in mind I was there during the hot season …

What I miss most are my family and old friends but what I don’t miss are the zombie maggot politicians there (esp in Borneo). Hang, drawn and quartered are too good for zombie maggot politicians there. It is a paradise being mismanaged and abused that prompted me to leave my home town in the first place to earn a peanut living as low ranking part-time bureaucrat in the GeordieLand. Also I miss the space there … I mean plenty of it unlike the very crowded UK. 😕

northernmatt – Member

jambourgie – Member
Sunderland’s not that bad…

Yes it is

😆

Edit: I bought two of the famous knives like the two small ones in this picture.

Thats nowt I had my car stripped. The immigration were convinced I was army and smuggling guns. Mental.

hora – Member

Thats nowt I had my car stripped. The immigration were convinced I was army and smuggling guns. Mental.

Yes, some of them tend to make many kind of assumptions about people just because the person face does not fit his/her stereotype.

Ya, I was stopped by the custom officers in the far east because of the knives as they are considered weapons. 😆 Told them my meat cleaver and some of my chef knives are larger than those. They then suggest me to get local Parang (machete) … 😯 Told them wrong design etc …

Anyway, they let me off because we come from the same town … 😆 Bet they knew if I were to run amok I would use something else …

@chew, what has happened to Borneo with the Palm Oil plantations is heartbreaking 🙁

I don’t read much but I really enjoyed “Land Below the Wind” it may be worth seeking out a copy

You missed nothing with Scotland, when you left it was going to be an easy No win and that’s how it turned out. In the middle was there was s frenzy as Murdoch published a poll saying Yes was tied. Gordon Brown made a great speech in support of the Union.

The biggest bike news was Rat Boy winning the DH world cup and then busting his foot whilst on the verge of Winning the World Champs and still coming in second. The run is worth watching and the conversation between him and Greg Minnaar at the finish with the punchline of “w***k”

jambalaya – Member

@chew, what has happened to Borneo with the Palm Oil plantations is heartbreaking

It is a total destruction of the natural habitat for all forest dwelling as I increasingly witnessed wild animals coming out from forest to roam the city for food. e.g. easiest to spot are eagles and birds that I have never seen before increasingly searched the town for food. This is not natural because these birds are normally not seen in the city or town.

One of the main cause is China’s increasing demand for palm oil and the corrupted politicians will sell off land to Chinese multinationals in order to get kick backs …

Yes, the Land Below the Wind might not be the same anymore … all gone. Paradise lost.

Ya, I noticed the No vote winning the Scottish referendum but I also think they will eventually be independent when Price George become the future King/President.

I have only started catching up with news now … 😀