I think the one who provides the food is no.1 in the pack rather than someone who punches dogs in the head 
Good luck Karin, I've got a dog and am in similiar circumstances to you, tho' thankfully Jim the Greyhound is about the most laid back dog you could meet. But he has taken 4 years to get him to the stage where he is quite confident with other dogs- was never aggressive, but would run off or freeze to the spot. (then some co#k in the park this morn had some horrid little terrier that attacked him , hopefully it wont set him back)
Soz for long post
Chat Forum
[closed]
I'm almost at the end of my tether here, sorry this is a bit long
-
Posted 2 years ago #
-
Karinofnine
I share my 2 dogs with the ex and the most they are left alone is 6 hours and that is rare. It makes a huge difference having 2, as even a few hours is a long time for a dog and they keep each other company. In addition, they give each other loads of exercise chasing around off the lead, far more than I could offer even walking for hours a day. I am not suggesting you get another dog as it may compound the situation, but it might be worth discussing with the professionals you are talking to. I don't think you are in the N.East but if you are I could recommend someone who is excellent.
Mr Smith has a point (although I would not punch a dog) in that a dog is a pack animal and has to learn/accept what is right and wrong according to the pack leader. I have used the 'pin to the floor growling' method to good effect but that is only valid when it is a direct challenge to the owner and not in the case where the dog has other issues.
I really hope it goes well for you and the 3 days at work will make a difference. Good luck.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I agree with some of the posters here. If your OP is correct, you're leaving Missy for four days a week for about 12 hours (?) at a time. That's way too long. No two ways about it. I would make an educated guess that Missy's problems can be solved but not by a new collar or a burst of training. What she needs can't be provided by you. I've trained dogs to be companions for disabled people and you can't overestimate the importance of calm, consistent, continuous attention. Sorry, but I think you need a proper re-think not a sticking plaster solution.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I read your post - you are not in a position to give the right dedication to a dog now, regardless of what went before. Even 3 x days alone is far too much. If the dog only goes with a dog walker 'who Missy likes' then the dog isn't trained enough for your lifestyle.
It doesn't matter whether you think the dog has bonded - it has so many issues (as do you with the dog) that you are physically degrading. That isn't right no matter how anyone looks at it. She is a 5 yr old dog with issues unresolved since you got her - thats going to be near impossible if you've not dealt with them properly yet.Posted 2 years ago # -
Karinofnine checked your location. If you were local to me I'd offer to come round and walk her a couple of times a week.
Are there any cost effective dog walking services locally? I cant offer any behavioural advice. Just all the best. We potentially could be rehoming our Bingo soon. Its not something I want to do or look forward to but we are going to exhaust other avenues first.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Taken me 5 years to get my Dalmation under some sort of control, even now hes trouble if he wants to be. IMO you cant buy fixes, it just time spent keeping calm and in control of the dog. A dog knows when your being half arsed or have had enoufgh and will exploit it. Leaving it alone wont help, sorry.
Posted 2 years ago # -
TooTall - Member
I read your post - you are not in a position to give the right dedication to a dog now, regardless of what went before. ......Yet the fact is that she is in the situation she's in, she does have have a dog, and she's not ready to give up on the dog and is seeking help. Good on her.
Take a look at the resue pages/free ads - there are far too many dogs given up at the first chance. If the OP does have to rehome her dog, then she'll be able to do so knowing that she tried her best.
All the best Karinofnine, I hope it all works out for you and your dog.
Posted 2 years ago # -
At the end of the day if you can't provide the attention the dog needs, it's better for all concerned if you find a more capable home for it. It's good that you're looking for a good solution, but I can't see any way out of this except to ensure the dog gets the attention it needs and you get some rest! Give other people a chance, if you're open about its faults and explain to whoever rescues/takes it, they'll nto take it if they don't feel able to deal with that. Your circumstances have changed, it's not your fault, but don't make both of you unhappy by dragging things on longer than is necessary to determine whether or not you can cope sensibly. Naturally I'd not suggest giving up instantly, that's the cowards way out, but after a certain time you realise that it's just not working for either person, I think you're sane enough to make the call on that timescale.
Posted 2 years ago # -
No experiences of dogs so won't offer any advice there.
From what I surmise I think it's admirable that you have taken on this dog with all her problems and you have clearly had her welfare foremost in your mind. I think to continue to do this, and to also prioritise your welfare higher, you should allow her to be re-homed somewhere better placed to meet her needs. It is a very strong step and a sign of your care for her admitting that you might not be best placed to look after her.
This is different but my girlfriend had a high emotional attachment to a pair of cats but they lived in a flat with no safe access outside. She could see it wasn't ideal and finally agreed to let a lady in her parents village who wanted cats to take them on where they had the quiet country life and could go outside. Although she misses the cats and felt at the time she was derelict in her duties to the cats, she is much happier now knowing they are happy. At the time, she needed the cats more than they needed her.
Anyway, good luck in resolving this. I hope your feeling and happiness take more prominence!
Posted 2 years ago # -
I've been thinking about this.
I'd bit the bullet and concentrate on finding her a new home that could offer her a loving environment (same as you really) but maybe with more time?
(I DONT mean to prise or assume anything by this)I think its possibly affecting potentially new relationships for you and moving on/happiness etc. The dog can also pick up on mood etc.
Start looking for a good home I say. Then you will feel confident and happy that she is with people who love her.
We did this when I was young. A pet of mine went to one of my aunts. I never went to see him but received updates. He lived a very long life and died in his sleep eventually
Posted 2 years ago # -
Easy to type, Hora. Not so easy in reality - http://www.singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/i-just-love-my-dog-so-much
Posted 2 years ago # -
Oh I know. We have a few issues with our Bingo (who we have mithered for 5yrs) and our newborn son. Obviously Bingo is 'wtf' and we are dont want to let him go.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Taylorplayer
The OP has had a dog, with issues, for 3.5 years. The dog isn't anything close to demonstrating what any responsible owner would call reasonable. The dog won't walk to heel, urinates without control, demonstrates agressive behaviour, won't respond to commands and won't be walked by 'anyone she doesn't like'. The OP then has to leave the dog alone, in a caravan, for some 40 hours a week. Perpetuating that situation isn't good for either party - it is downright dangerous for both if this continues. I own a rescue dog and I'd not be without him - but this thread is about something that, frankly, isn't going to get better. If the OP hasn't even got the dog walking to heel after 3.5 years, this is not going to end well.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I should point out that I was on a major downer when I wrote that first post and exaggerated the situation somewhat.
Now then, when I first got her if she saw a man she weed from fear. Now, she is more confident and very rarely does that. That is progress.
She has mild incontinence. That is controlled by Propalin.
She used to pull very hard on the lead all the time. Now she pulls when she sees a car. Progress.
She used to not come when she was called. Now she does, unless she is chasing a squirrel. Progress.
I am grateful to you all for your comments, even the negative ones. It is certainly food for thought.
TooTall, I tell the dog walker to encourage her to go with him/her but not to force the dog. Are you saying that I should tell the dog walker to drag her out of the caravan and make her walk? Don't you think that would cause her a great deal of stress?
BTW it is a big caravan, she is NOT crated and she can get out into the awning. I am making friends with my new neighbours, some of whom don't have to work, and one in particular has offered to walk her during the day.
I agree I have been negligent in addressing the car/bike/runner barking fear thing and your comments have prompted me to try some further help with it.
As for a social life for me, if I am honest, the simple and only reason I am lonely is because I haven't done anything about meeting people because I find it difficult (and I still miss my ex). Not the dog's fault at all, mine.
One last thing, I felt some of more negative posters were rather rude and hurtful and were not helpful given I was at a very low point. I'm so tempted to make a sarcastic remark but will resist.
Have a good day all.
Posted 2 years ago # -
That's more like it <thumbs up>
My bitch is on Propalin too. Happened almost as soon as she was spayed, which they didn't mention prior to the op but is not uncommon. The fact that her stitching looked like it had been done by a blacksmiths apprentice makes me highly suspicious re the whole thing and I suspect she might have been done by a trainee.
Don't worry about the social life (if you are that is ?)I've been in the same position for over a year and thoroughly enjoy being able to do exactly what I want, when I want (dogs and work excepted, of course).
Chin up and enjoy yourself. Dogs do tune into vibes so have fun
Posted 2 years ago # -
Good to hear that Karin - after having briefly spoken to you at Swinley I could tell you didn't want to give up your dog (whereas mine could go tomorrow
!)
Posted 2 years ago # -
Unfortunately some people just do not see the signs that indicate a person is struggling. Empathy is not just a female strength, some men have it too, but others are just far too quick to spout off in an unpleasant manner.
We do not live in a perfect world, some folk have all sorts of horrendous situations to deal with, we need to cut some slack sometimes.
Still reckon there's some really decent people on here though.
Karin - hang in there girl. You're definitely on the right track and are obviously totally committed to Missy and her well-being.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Karin, bookmark this thread. You can look at it when you feel like you did in your first post - and you'll be able to see from your last one that there can soon be a time when you feel more positive and things look less black.
Posted 2 years ago # -
That's a much more positive attitude, I'm very pleased that you are obviously feeling better today
Posted 2 years ago # -
Just remember your dog loves you...
Posted 2 years ago # -
Sorry to just be negative, but you have to let that dog out during your shift. A dog should not be made to hold it's bladder for more than 8 hrs - surely this fact alone can't be helping her bladder problem.
Posted 2 years ago # -
The Artist
If you had read the OP's last post you would know that the dog has access to an awning and neighbours have volunteered to take her out during the day which should be a big help.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Ah, missed that line. My bad.
Posted 2 years ago # -
Hi. Thanks for your kind remarks. I am at home today, dicky tummy, set off this morning on the bike but significant rumbling forced a u-turn!
I am sitting on my bed and Missy is sitting on hers, at the other end of the caravan, watching what I call 'dog telly' (the birds in the hedge) and totally ignoring me - as usual.
DezB, thanks, you're a lovely man, and your friend is nice too.
Johnners - good idea.
Woody - the vet says it was the spaying operation that caused the incontinence - but they didn't mention it before the operation. Why? Stitches - Missy's are ok, but I have come to change my opinion of vets as selfless animal lovers to people who are probably still fond of animals but have a strong commercial interest. Social life - I see lots of people at work, I interact on here, I go on group rides. That's ok. I agree that doing what you want is great.
CG - I will ring you. Thanks.
Posted 2 years ago # -
DezB, thanks, you're a lovely man, and your friend is nice too.
Ay oop! Is this thread taking an unexpected turn?
Posted 2 years ago # -
Well, even though I was on the Swingles ride, I'm a married man... otherwise...
A cue to post that pic of me and the wife, no doubt!
Posted 2 years ago # -
I can see your point re vets and commercial interests (same analogy as dentists saving a tooth, as once it's pulled, no further income from it!) but that has not really been my experience. I was quite shocked to discover how common incontinence is after spaying but on balance would probably have gone ahead anyway as there are +ve's re incidence of mammariam tumours etc.
Some good info HERE. Propalin seems to control it very well and the alernative ie. further investigation at a specialist centre and possible op/ops, which apart from the cost £2.5K+, would mean several days in Glasgow (170 miles away) which is the closest specialist vet surgeons, is not really an option. I don't know whether the collagen injection op is available in this country yet.Coincidentally, my 2 came face to face with an 18 month old doberman on the morning walk today and the owner (male) was nearly pulled off his feet several times trying to hold it. In a brief chat he said it could never be let off the lead due to attacking other dogs + barking at passersby etc. He's had the dog from 6 months old. After a few minutes I called my dogs back and they all had a sniff, seemed fairly calm and while the doberman was obviously still a bit nervous of my 2 there was none of the aggression from a couple of minutes before. Does Missy mix with other dogs at all ? Just wondered as it seemed to have a good effect on the one I met this morning.
Posted 2 years ago # -
I have spent a lot of time socialising her to other dogs - and a lot of energy preventing other dog owners from allowing their off-the-lead dogs to hammer up to us barking madly, which unnerves her completely - and frankly I don't blame her for that.
She likes other dogs but is nervous and worse on the lead (she barks, I think, to make herself look scary to the other dog). She prefers to meet other dogs in a large space, she runs away a short distance and then advances at her pace, does her play-bow, and games commence. I love to see her with other dogs. Some neighbours live in a multi-yurt, they have two german pointers, the dogs have met, and I am optimistic that they will all become friends.
She is almost at the top dose of Propalin but apparently there is another drug which can be combined with it. We'll cross that bridge if/when we come to it. As I said before, she has the funny walk that may signal Wobblers later on. If Wobblers does develop and progress I will have her put to sleep rather than let her suffer pain. There is an operation but even vets say it is not always particularly effective and the recovery is long and painful.
I meet lots of people out walking, both doggy and non-doggy. The common theme seems to be that most guard-breed dogs are edgy, nervy dogs. If they are that way, it's not surprising that they react in an animated fashion when something or someone is advancing rapidly on them/their owner. I have worked hard to socialise her to all sorts of things, but I wonder if you can, or would want to, completely 'train out' a trait that has been in the breed since Herr Dobermann created his 'intelligent, loyal, protective companion'?
DezB - oooh! you are awful! lol
Posted 2 years ago # -
My 2 were on the lead this morning - they always are if I can't see for a good distance and were only let off while I chatted. It annoys me too when owners allow their dogs to do that as you can never be sure. Even the dog trainer I went to keeps hers on the lead. Her reasoning is that you can never rule out an attack (either way) no matter how much you think you know your dog! You certainly wouldn't want to train the breed traits out, that is one of the reasons (presumably) you got a Doberman.
Good luck anyway and I hope the Wobblers never transpires. It sounds like you are doing everything you can and are very patient.
ps. had to Google it but I now know what a yurt is LOL
Posted 2 years ago # -
One time I was on my bike in Broxbourne Woods, Hertfordshire. A very very big white English Bull Terrier appeared, alone, and ran in a deliberate way up to me. He jumped up at me and sniffed my face.
Even though I am a doggy person I very nearly had a clean-underpants-please moment.
The woman with the dog then appeared, chatting on a mobile phone (don't know how she had signal in a wood, but never mind), totally unconcerned and just walked past, kind of incidentally called the dog, which kind of incidentally eventually obeyed and ran off after her.
That kind of thing annoys me. What if the dog had done that to a child?
Posted 2 years ago # -
LOL that sort of thing happens to me frequently in my job and invariably it's a rottweiler or some sort of staffy cross. Never had a problem after the initial stand-off (lucky?) and they are usually very friendly, lovely dogs. I've been tempted to liberate them from their dealer/addict owners on a couple of occassions.
It does make you wonder though, that these dogs are usually incredibly loyal to their owners even though some of them are treated very badly. Proves, if nothing else, that it is vital to be the 'pack leader'.
Posted 2 years ago #
Topic Closed
This topic has been closed to new replies.
