Firstly I’m ranting and airing off more than anything and this is a good place to do so.

Quick synopsis

My mother died wen we were children fast forward we are now in our early 40s to late 40s (siblings) I have had years of therapy which keeps me sane (almost apart from the cost but I’m happy to pay)

I have an older brother who was top of his game work wise and health fitness wise who now has CFS and chronic depression who now wants to kill himself.

My sister and I fight like cat and dog she was in London for the day yesterday so we caught up which this time was okay ( she lives 200 miles away brother also lives there) as we had things to discuss.

My dad who is 82 is slowly loosing his mind ( avid explorer and mountaineer last trip to Everest basecamp 5 years ago) and lives in a 5 bedroom mini mansion in the big smoke full of crap ! He is now having tests for bowel cancer. ( black poos) I only live 2 miles away so we see him a fair bit.

And you know what I love them all to bits but today i hurt.

All three of us (siblings) have children and they are living through this as well ( not so much mine )

Thanks for reading and have a good day.

There is no easy answer to any of this, but at least you do the right thing by sharing it with others. And this is a good place.

I am sure that other answers will roll in, but know that here, at least, you have people who sympathise.

Best wishes.

I’m sure you’ve heard this before but don’t forget to make time for yourself.

i have nothing constructive to say,but good luck to you,and i agree with saxonrider’s post.

You’re probably not having a nervous breakdown, just having a fairly tough time.

After every winter comes a spring as they say, so be kind to yourself, try and be as positive as possible and things will settle down one way or the other. Good luck.

I think I’m having a nervous breakdown

You’re not. They’re so 80’s.
You’re having a modern mental health crisis.
That’s what they told me this time last year when I had mine.

My advice. Get a wider perspective on your life and your place in the universe. Your problems and issues seem huge to you when you brood on them constantly. You need to shrink your perception of them down a bit. This helps me and makes the problems easier to deal with. It’s difficult enough to deal with the actual problems without stressing about the stress of stressing about the problems.

I find two approaches work for me.

Glorious isolation – go somewhere that you can be alone in nature. Walk on an empty beach, climb a hill , go deep into the woods. Consider your tiny presence in the midst of the place you’re in and then extend that to the wider world and the infinite universe. You feel small in comparison and so do your problems.

Extreme crowds – Go to the busiest place you can find. Stand in the middle of the crowd and watch as all the people stream past. These are all people with the same hopes, dreams, aspirations and problems as you. Look at them all not as individuals but as a massive swarming group of issues and problems. Imagine how many people there are in the town / city / country / world.
Your issues are a mere microscopic drop in this huge, swirling mass of human struggle.

Don’t seem so big now, do they? Obviously YMMV.

Try and find something to laugh at every day. It really helps. 99% of my posts on this forum are dumb-ass jokes……not because I feel some innate need to entertain the masses, it’s because I try to make myself laugh and need an outlet for that because, god knows that the po faced asshats I share an office with ain’t interested in listening to my pish most of the time.

Take every day as it comes and I genuinely wish you good luck in getting through it.

First thing first, hats off to you for being concerned for the welfare of your family members, it’s only natural that you’d be hurting as a result of all the pain you’re all going through. You naturally want to help everyone, but as others have said you need to make time for yourself and allow yourself to deal with everything that’s going on.

Make an appointment with your GP, explain it all to them and hopefully you’ll be given the support tools you need to get yourself through this.

You sound like a thoroughly decent bloke, FWIW I wish you all the very best and I think your family are lucky to have you on side.

I think I was in a similar place earlier this year, although for very different reasons. Three things helped massively: first, managing to distance myself (to some extent) from the cause of my stress, second, realising how many people around me did actually care when I needed it and, third, http://www.headspace.com which I am still going to every day. You can try it free for 10 sessions (“Take10”) then pay a small subscription to continue if it works for you.

Good luck buddy.

Sorry to hear. +1 for what Perhypanther said.
Also check out Action for Happiness with link below.
sign up to there FB page and they send regular positive messages… well it helped me and continues to do so.
Good luck

http://www.actionforhappiness.org/

hmmmm….

make your dad eat beetroot till his poo isnt black?

if i think of anything else i will come back

Plus one for just getting away from it all, even if it’s just for a couple of days. Easier said than done, I know but better you do it now than get to the point your brother has arrived at.

Best of luck to you and yours.

Well done on noticing there is a problem.

Having gone kaboom recently, I feel your pain.

Go to your Dr and speak to them, it’s tough but it was well worth it IMHO. They wanted me to go on anti-depressants, but I refused as I didn’t want to go down that road if it could be helped.
I now do therapy sessions, coupled with mindfulness and progressive muscle relaxation. I am in a better place now and feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I hope this helps, as you are not alone 🙂

You stated you’ve had therapy so the following link might be old hat but I’ll post it anyway in case it helps anyone else reading this post: http://psychology.tools/

Disclaimer bit: These materials are best used in conjunction with a qualified therapist of course.