I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

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I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

1761 posts & 531 voices | Started 2 years ago by bullheart | Latest reply from Kevevs

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dalepoint - Member

Well done on fighting this. It is an ispiration as always reading you post's with the example of pure grit in fighting it all the way. Dont worry about other people you are tired and also depressed masked by the fight. it is easy for us on here to post as we dont have the face to face relationship your collegues and friends have. those face to face relationships cause other emotions to come in to play. As what the hell do you say to someone you know work with friends with that is going through what you are. LOst for words. keep the fight up rest when you can and keep positive.

good luck

Posted 2 years ago #
Spongebob - Member

Nice to hear positive news. I have no doubt that a positive mental attitude helps when you are fighting an illness like this.

Having true support form those closest is vital, so credit to your old man.

We're all behind you mate!

Good luck with the ride.

Posted 2 years ago #
mrsflash - Member

so glad your Dad has sorted himself out sounds like he is being just the support you need.

We all know you can do this.

xxx

Posted 2 years ago #
Munqe-chick - Member

I know this is slightly different and I can't be too precise, there was a guy in America who was diagnosed with AIDS and full blown and was given limited time to survive, somehow he managed to say "sod it" and did an iron man or something similarly ridiculous however when he went back for tests it had all "vanished" and no-one can explain it. So you can fight itand you clearly all.

I don't really know what to say other than when I come home having had a crap day at work, or a headache or I am whining about something I think about you and Meg, what you're going through and say "get a grip you big pussie".

Inspiration to all. Keep fighting and posting .. have some more love and hugs.xxx

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

You just seem like a normal bloke to me, but with super-hero qualities.
Hell, I get pissed off by the chaos in my classroom, after one day's absence!

Whenever I picture you in my mind you have this intense fire burning in your chest.
Keep that fire burning!!!!

All the best,
FCxx

Posted 2 years ago #
Suggsey - Member

Its great to have the offer of your face on my arse pal but with the boil I have on it at the moment you would be hideously disfigured-and so would I.
No its going to be a simple word that embodies alot of what I 'preach' and truly think is the essence of the way that decide our destiny.
As for the tiredness, I am afraid that its time to listen to your body and sleep a bit more. Sleep equals recovery period and battery recharge-what do we all do on the nighttime following a good epic ride to recover?
As for the arse action my life on Statins and Metfartmin (Metformin) regularly end with similar events.
Keep well and have a good nights sleep and a lay in.

Posted 2 years ago #
Bushwacked - Member

Positive attitude - its the way forward.

My mate was telling me about a book I should read called the "Sickening Mind" - which proves a lot about the effect of positive attitude on illness. Can't wait to read it.

You're a real inspiration - All the best!

Posted 2 years ago #
crapbutlovingit - Member

Hey Mark, give yourself a break!

You're already doing one allegedly impossible thing by pushing the lurg back under the rock it come from, don't give yourself a hard time for not managing to also ignore the side-effects of that battle. If ever there was a time for putting your needs first it is NOW, everyone else can bugger off and if they don't get it then they're not people you need to explain yourself to.

Worrying about Meg is the one thing you'd be having to deal with anyway, so perversely that is a good 'normal' thing to be doing (does that make sense??).

Get some sleep - arse permitting.

Posted 2 years ago #
Ang Kitch - Member

Mr Fradgley
(that is what you like to be addressed by)
At last we have found somewhere where you regularly visit !!!! Mark and I read it all yesterday spent hours going through it and we are inspired by what we have read, you are a fighter Mark and we know you CAN beat this disease, as Mark says keep your game head on.
On reading it all Mark we are extremly pleased that things have sorted out well with your Dad and he is back on your side !
Meg is a truly lovely person whom we had the pleasure to meet at your wedding, a good woman is hard to find I know !!!! Mark said he will send you a DVD if you still need one ha ha !!!!
If you get chance and I know you have loads of people to answer give us a ring love. From your friends in Batley

Ang Mark Snr and Junior xxxx

Posted 2 years ago #
Bunnyhop - Member

You are becoming a legend on STW.
How you manage to make me lol. and cry in the same sentence is a feat in itself.

Great news about your father coming round, he must have been pretty shocked at first.

Regarding the Fatigue, is it possible to get some nutritional advice? Things like eating small meals but often will help.
Sleep is a thing that must be a priority. Even just sitting down and resting is better than trying to help everyone, surely these people need to know that even though you are superman you can't do everything.

Keep letting us know how you're feeling, even let to off steam.

bunnyhop xx

Posted 2 years ago #
jedi - Member

a true stw legend imo

Posted 2 years ago #
allthepies - Member

I don't do the tears thing but you rock!

Posted 2 years ago #
Bunnyhop - Member

jedi - you're the other one

Posted 2 years ago #
FoxyChick - Member

Just what I was thinking bunnyhop!!

Posted 2 years ago #
jedi - Member

i can only wish i could be half the man he is. true legend always in my book.

Posted 2 years ago #
bullheart - Member

I'm not a legend. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

I'm a fearful coward and a fraud 50% of the time. Please don't put me on a pedestal; I don't deserve it. I regularly see my own funeral, pray that it won't hurt when it comes, and curse others for not realising how lucky they are.

If it wasn't for Meg, I'd be nothing. Really.

EDIT: That doesn't mean I won't stop fighting though.

Posted 2 years ago #
iDave - Member

well, yeah, but apart from that......

Posted 2 years ago #
deluded - Member

Just keep fighting for every inch Mark.

All the best,

Larry.

Posted 2 years ago #
Ang Kitch - Member

Fradg you are what you are an inspiration to us all !!

We don't want to be at your funeral lost my Mum two weeks ago today and yours is not on the agenda!!! we are not going to another one this year or the next we love you Mark stay strong and we are here for you and Meg always xxx

Posted 2 years ago #
Ambrose - Member

Keep going strong my man- you are an inspiration.
One of my ex pupils recieved treatment upon his brain lesions yesterday. He too is strong and driven like you. He too is detined for great things.

Posted 2 years ago #
theotherjonv - Member

Whatever you say Mark, if that's what you think then that's OK, you are a fraud.

Which makes the rest of us what exactly? Still humbled by your attitude.

Fradgely's not a common name is it - no relation to Matt in Guildford are you?

Posted 2 years ago #
tankslapper - Member

Come on man you're better than that. We're all victims of circumstances we didn't make for ourselves. Your bound to feel down, its natural, but you've got spirit in shed loads, we've all got masses of respect for you and where your at. Its no pedestal. Its something we should all be very proud of, human kindness.

Keep 'er lit big lad!

Posted 2 years ago #
mboy - Member

EDIT: That doesn't mean I won't stop fighting though.

DAMN STRAIGHT!

The moment you give up with Cancer, it wins...

Having watched more people I love die of the big C than anyone should ever have to in their entire lifetime by the time I was even out of my teens, the best bit of advice I can give is to just keep fighting... Be beligerent, bloody minded, totally focussed on winning to the point where nothing else even manages to make its way into your head as a mere thought any more...

Perfect case in point is yer man Lance Armstrong... Probably/Possibly the single most focussed athlete the world has ever seen (certainly the cycling world), coming second has never even featured on his agenda. Which seemed to be the approach he took to Cancer too!

Besides, you've got WAY too many people following you on here now to even consider the possibility of not making it... Everyone is gunning for you, you WILL make it!

Posted 2 years ago #
bullheart - Member

Hmmm... Just read my last post. You're all right - it sounds way too negative.

But it's important that you know the reality of the situation. I KNOW that I will beat this. I KNOW I'll be the first to do so. But I'm not a superman. And knowing that I'll win doesn't stop me shitting myself, believe me. I don't like the idea of people being disappointed when they meet me, thinking that I'm some kind of wunderkind when in reality I'm just the same as all of you. I'm sure all of you would respond in the same manner when confronted with the same situation.

Apart from my good looks. They are fairly superhuman-ish.

Posted 2 years ago #
jimbobrighton - Member

just caught up with this thread after a fair while away from it.

I don't think there would be a person in the world that wouldn't be sh!tting themselves faced with what you are. It's how you deal with that fear that determines whether you get through it. I'd echo everyones sentiments here, I'd like to think I could get through that diesease with the same bravery, humour and general aplomb that you are, but I know myself and I honestly don't think I could.

When this is all over, I'm going to copy this thread and keep it somewhere safe to show my kids (if I have any) one day as a way to show them that THIS is the way to deal with things when life gets sh!tty.

keep it up mate.

JIm

Posted 2 years ago #
jimbobrighton - Member

*p.s. by that I mean your actions and not to hang around on an internet forum with middle aged IT proffessionals

Posted 2 years ago #
slowmedown - Member

Mark, you are a legend.

Not because you fight this without weakness, not because you fight this blindly.

You are a legend because you fight this with humanity, with love, and at times self perceived frailty, but yet you fight this head on knowing your own weaknesses. That takes true courage. You are a truly strong man, stay with it, keep believing, and lean on Meg when you need to, 'cos I'm sure she will only love you more for doing so.

Posted 2 years ago #
tankslapper - Member

I'm just the same as all of you.

Well I look like Shrek's doppleganger but don't let that stop ya!

Your bound to dwell on things Mark, just drop a line when you need to man.

Sticking it on here is brave and discussing it is what most of us probably wouldn't be man enough to do, (and Jimbo I resemble that comment, I'm not an internet IT specialist..... )

All the very best to you both

TS

Posted 2 years ago #
Ang Kitch - Member

ello mr fradgley
reading ur last post seems you are a in the dumps a bit,well dont be its
not like you and doesent sound like the mark fradgley we all know and admire,the fradge we know goes the the full 80 mins regardless.we know things must be hard for you mark and meg, but the fradge we know doesent
give up on anything as i am sure you wont.no final whistle extra time
only,lots of it.with you all the way mate.love to both you and meg. we are here if you need us.your friends in batley,ang.snr.jnr.

Posted 2 years ago #
teachermcnic - Member

I haven't been in contact as much over recent weeks. Working on anger management stuff. And failing.

Glad you are still sticking to the agreement - don't back down, don't surrender.

Wouldn't mind popping down at some point so we can take in a ride and catch up face to face. In the mean time keep writing up transcripts of your conversation with your own arse; it came across as a really thoughtful, sensitive soul who is struggling with organisation and consistency.

Posted 1 year ago #
iDave - Member

as Marks story is so dreary and uninspiring, and our response so indifferent have a read about Lisa Connell.... featured on BBC news this morning...

Posted 1 year ago #
crapbutlovingit - Member

Mark - are you OK?

Posted 1 year ago #
teachermcnic - Member

We are all missing you here, up north. You are missing out on all the cold and rain. We are fast approaching easter hols with joy in our hearts. Hope you feel the same sense of joy.

Posted 1 year ago #
johnikgriff - Member

Just catching up after a few weeks, glad (understatment) your treatment is going the right way.

The "your so great" got to me a bit when having my cancer fight(s). You need to know that from the outside you are all the things people say. I'm sure everyone who has these labels placed on them feels a bit of a fraud on the inside, but your not mate. You are what people say you are and the personal doubts dont change it.

People on the outside just think they will be different (run and hide) if it was them, but as we know, most of them would be supprised what fight is also in them if its needed.

I regularly see my own funeral

Ye me too mate, use think about it all the time, to be honest the only thing that worried me was that nobody would come (like that would have mattered). The places are minds go at times like this. You'll have all kind of mad thoughts mate, dont think its you going weak, its only natrual.

Posted 1 year ago #
bullheart - Member

Things are about to happen in the following order:

1) Have some tea
2) Try and find a replacement rear wheel/XT hub on fleabay
3) Update you lot about the last month

Give me an hour and a half. There's nowt on the box tonight anyway...

Posted 1 year ago #
tankslapper - Member

Good man Mark!

The fact that your looking around fleabay for tat fills me with confidence

Posted 1 year ago #
Munqe-chick - Member

There's the World Track cycling on BBC2 that's okay!! keep fighting buddy we are still all thinking about you.

Posted 1 year ago #
Pigface - Member

I bet the bugger makes me cry again

Posted 1 year ago #
dirtbiker100 - Member

Give me an hour and a half. There's nowt on the box tonight anyway...
Posted 1 hour ago

ooh gives me enough time for a run i think. looking forward to the update

Posted 1 year ago #
bullheart - Member

I just wrote a massive post, only for the server to go tits-up.

Happy days.

I'm going to do a couple of posts in the next few days as I'm aware that it's been a fair while since I've posted owt. This is an abreviated version of the incredibly funny post I just lost. It is entitled 'Bad things about my chemo.

1) The Bum Lottery

Just like the National Lottery. See below:

National Lottery - Buy a ticket, pray, win large wad of cash. Winner!

Bum Lottery - Don't buy a ticket, pray, get caught short, run to nearest toilet. But hang on a minute I hear you say? Where's the lottery component Mark? Here it is; you don't know whats coming!!! Is it liquid? Is it compacted stools? Who knows!!??! Ace eh?

2) Mouth Ulcers

Between week 2 and the end of week 4 I get ulcers. Lots of 'em. 16 at last count, all along the sides of my tongue. So this is my diet for those two weeks.

Custard
Ice Cream
Soup
Custard
Angel Delight
Custard
Smoothies
Custard
Custard

Sounds like fun? Ask my arse...

3) Chemo side effects

Caelyx pools in certain areas of the body, and is very painful to the touch. Its a bit like electric shocks. The parts it affects on me are my hands, elbows, feet, knees, calves, hips and gonads. So everything is itchy and uncomfortable. E45 doesn't work. Sudocreme doesn't work. The only cream that does is called 'Udderley Smoooth' (sic). Designed for cows' udders. I have half a bovine heart, and now use udder cream on my skin. Meg swears she's seen me grazing in the back garden...

4) Insurance

I've got (as yet) incurable cancer. Now I think this is shit. But sod it, I'm going to get on with my life, so were going on our belated honeymoon to NYC. Yeah baby, NYC!! But I'd better get some insurance, so I'll phone one of those specialist brokers. It goes like this:

Me: Hello, I'd like some insurance please.

Insurer: No problem sir, we're very competitve and don't refuse anyone. What condition do you have?

Me: Er, its called angiosarcoma.

Insurer: Asthma?

Me: Angiosarcoma.

Insurer: Did you mean anaemia sir?

Me: A-N-G-I-O-S-A-R-C-O-M-A

Insurer: One moment please (Rustling, hushed conversation, murmuring occasionally punctuated with words such as 'Christ!' 'Poor Bastard' and 'No Chance'..) I'm sorry sir, this is a pizza parlour...[click]

More to follow...

Posted 1 year ago #