Well… that’s a turn up for the books. Local quack doesn’t want to test me, but a mate with identical symptoms (started the same day) up in Glasgow has been put on Tamiflu following swabs.

So guess I am unclean then 😉

Been 8 days thus far, starting to feel better so not really too worried about the whole thing!

Anyone else got the flu?

You’re covered in bits of bacon?

Pancetta mate – it’s upmarket 😉

I prefer her mate Bruschetta.

Ooooh – she could nurse me back to health 😉

i’ve got a cold, should i be at work speading it?

It’s the aporkalypse! It’s Parmageddon!

That’s three pig jokes on the trot(ter). I won’t make a ham-fisted attempt at another…

Too funny. I’m crackling up here.

I think I might have it too: my snout is runny and my trotters are swollen. I phoned NHSDirect but just got crackling. My first symptom was waking up in the morning with an apple in my mouth.

Are you sure you haven’t caught hamthrax?