Having read the resurected thread on the new forum and laughed...a lot I have had some revenge extracted on my by some higher power.
I have, for the last 3 days been unable to stray more than 10m away from the privvy. I know every knothole on the back of the door and have run out of suitable reading material (Stephen Fry's Paperweight made me laugh too much and exaserbated things!) Lethregy leaves me unable to do any thing constructive and daytime TV is less preferable to watching the walls!
Food passes straight through, as does most liquids I have tried, I am now cutting out the middle-man and saving wear and tear on my ring by directly donating all food and drink to Severn Trent via the Armatige Shanks express.
Dr recons I have another 3-4days of this although with no fat reserves to draw on I'm not sure I'll make it! Best guess is that I rode through some poo on Sunday and picked it up from my gloves / water bottle / gob open on downhill section...Yuck!
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