..I thought I was really hurt, but then realised I just had super-fish-oil injuries and all was OK…..

DrP

admin can we ban DrP please?

humanity can we cull DrP please? 😉

*reported*

Space, nuke, only way.

Have a spin on the turbot trainer, get the stiffness out of your legs.

In other news two ships, one carrying blue paint, one carrying red paint, have collided. Both crews were marooned.

I sniggered but really don’t want to encourage this kind of thing, Flashman just no need for it.

I actually quite enjoy jokes like these.

Did you hear about the frog car that broke down? It got toad away.

what a load of pollocks!

Pigface – Member
I sniggered but really don’t want to encourage this kind of thing, Flashman just no need for it.

You have no sole.
😐

there’s a time and a plaice for this kind of thing…

The driver of the truck had just been promoted……he careered off the road.

Whale oil beef hooked….

Smells fishy to me

Must have the smoothest drive train in the world

benp1 – Member

Smells fishy to me

any fin is possible so it cod be true

We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns

what would be the porpoise of that?

Was the truck going really fast?
Maybe it had just been to the tuna.

Clunky set-up but a satisfying pay-off. My seven-year-old daughter has obviously got competition in the comedy stakes.

Do you have any camera footage to plaice you at the scene?

I’m floundering to think of a fishy pun reply

Was it a case of “Sorry mate, didn’t sea you?”

What a load of scallops.

Salmon must have some more fish jokes? OP were you on your motor pike or push pike?

It must have given you quite a whale-op, you poor little urchin. Still I guess this is what happens when motor vehicles and bikes are coral-ed together in the same space.

A van full of Terrapins collided with a lorry load of tortoises.

It was a turtle disaster.

Have you lot been trawling the Internet for these gags?

Reminds me of the French cheese truck that overturned, covering the road with de brie….

Whale oil beef

Apparently we’re having Vera Lynn Burgers for tea tonight. As usual. I don’t know if I can stomach having whale meat again.

A truck full of exhausts was stolen from round here recently.
Police are baffled.

All of the toilets were stolen out of our local police station, apparently they have nothing to go on.

Think yourself lucky DrP – there’s a John Wayne Bobbitt copycat on the loose round your way. I asked how the investigation was going and a copper said all they’d had so far was a single tip-off

I slipped getting out of the bath last night and banged my head on the toilet roll. Im OK though, it was only a soft tissue injury.

Best get my coat.

I bought a dog off our local blacksmith the other day.
Complete nightmare, the second I got it home it made a bolt for the door

I was gonna put this in the classifieds but i have a broken barometer for sale if anybody would like it, no pressure!

Two elephants fell of a cliff. Boom. Boom.

Two elephants and a cymbal fell of a cliff. Ba Dum Tish

A man grabs a parrot and a gun, jumps off a cliff and shoots the bird on the way down. He hits the ground hard, dusts himself off and says “I don’t like this parrot shooting activity”.

A Glaswegian walks into the bakers and asks “Is that a cake or a meringue?”

“No, you are right” comes the reply.

A Glaswegian walks into the bakers and asks “Is that a cake or a meringue?”

“No, you are right” comes the reply.

Very clever