So basic situation is - I currently live with my girlfriend, we've been together for about 6 years.
I'm no longer in love with her.
We've spoken about this sometime ago & I agreed to give it 6 months or so... those months passed some time ago.
I want to break up with her but having never been in this situation before need some advice as to how we can move forward.
I realise I'm going to break her heart but I want to keep it as nice as poss
Jay-Z who?
I'd imagine telling her rather than posting about it on a forum would be a start. There's no good way to do it, just calmly explain it and be prepared to take a bag and go stay with a friend if she doesn't want to see your face for a while.
tell her your gay and spend all the time you're at home digging a giant hole in the lawn.
Love is a choice not a feeling.
Don't they teach anything in school anymore?
It's not you, it's me...
be a man and just do it-dont leave her hanging, and stop posting about it.
good luck
Welcome to Dumpsville. Population you.
Send her a link to this thread?
Alternatively speak to her
Try to remain calm and mature about the whole thing. Explain your feelings in a calm and measured way, reassure her that it's nothing she's done, you've just grown apart.
Tell her you'll be there for her, but you can't be together and most importantly, don't fall out with her. That way you can pretty much guarantee lots of really mucky break-up sex while you shop around for your next victim.
Fill yer boots lad.
You do actually have to take the decision, and communicate it to her. That's hard and it hurts everyone involved. Also, if you're too nice about it I reckon you're at high risk of giving it another 6 months, which is pretty hopeless if you've decided that isn't what you want to do.
Pack a bag. Line up a friend to stay with. Sit her down and explain you're moving out. Move out. Don't speak to her or see her for a while.
Like you say no matter what you do she will be upset so best to be sympathetically honest - she probably realises but is too scared to ask.
Fake your own death?
MTFU and send her a text!
Or if you're too much of a wimp, buy some womens lingerie leave it in the bedroom somewhere also leave some hairclips randomly around the house....
deadlydarcy - Member
It's not you, it's me...
Actually no, it is you.
Having been there done that, its f***ing hard, but you have to do it.
Sit down, face to face, and tell her straight.
Ditto above. It seems hard but long term she'll thank you for it.
Out of the suggestions above faking your own death definitely sounds like the coolest.
Plus also you probably would nt have to live a lie for too long because she's unlikely to want to get back together with some one who faked their own death.
PS I think your missing the the point of the Jay-Z song. I think he's saying he only just about feels bad for you. I think what he's try to suggest is that real men (read pretend gangster rappers) never have problems with women because there so bling.
leave some hairclips randomly around the house
You've suggested this before I think, and I very much admire the subtlety of it. So much less bother than actually sleeping with someone, and it achieves exactly the same effect. 
A female friend of mine informed me it was her favourite method for ensuring she got her man!
Be warned women are sneaky..... if they are fed up with being the bit on the side your Mrs will know about it pretty quick.
Or.... don't cheat on you Mrs!
Joking aside, I left my partner of 15 years last year due to musical differences. I'd left before, but was pursuaded back when I was at my lowest ebb.
If you're going to do it, you're going to have to go for the sticking plaster method - a short, sharp and complete separation. As another poster has said, put some distance between the 2 of you so you can both get used to the idea without being tempted to rekindle things or have a sympathy shag.
It's the toughest thing in the world - when your best friend is going through such heart break, and the only confidant she's known over the past few years is the one person she can't talk to. It's very difficult to keep away when all your instincts tell you to offer her your shoulder to cry on.
I moved away and had no contact for 3 months or so. She now hates me and is trying to shaft me in the courts, so perhaps it wasn't a perfect breakup, but if one person is still in love, it's impossible to have a truly amicable split.
Yeah joking aside go with Shibboleth. Do not maintain contact, do not offer her a shoulder to cry on, definitely do not sleep with her in a moment of weakness. Unless you want to completely f**k her emotionally and you fancy having yourself a ready made stalker!
Homer Simpson makes this easy -
Dear (insert name),
Welcome to Dumpsville...population YOU!
As easy as that...
Has she got a sister? Buckeroo? 
Giant spider suit for bedroom wear?
If you've havin girl problems I feel bad for y son, I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one! Hear me?
Tell her, pack up, move out, move on. Arrange to have lunch in a few days, then a week, then two weeks etc etc...
Joking aside, I left my partner of 15 years last year due to musical differences.
It probably shouldn't have but that made me LOL and put me back in a good mood after the Aston thread 
dont be a prat when you are splitting things up for the house, remember its you who decided to leave her
dont be a prat when you are splitting things up for the house, remember its you who decided to leave her
Just cos it's you that's leaving, doesn't mean you should sell yourself short out of guilt though.
You should do it as quickly as possible. 9 years ago, I was living with a girlfriend - one of those situations where I didn't love her, it had started as a sex thing, but liked her and had just kind of fallen into the living together thing.
I then met the current Mrs Squin and it was love at first sight etc. I knew straight away that I needed to leave my then girlfriend. I made the decision quickly, she didn't know it was coming, but I figured that she would go through a heap of pain no matter how I finished it, so better to tell her straight.
I told her on a Saturday, left that evening and never spent another night under that roof. Had to sell the house etc, but never regret what I did.
Genuinely laughing out loud at theflatboy's picture.
I'm always curious about these threads where someone asks for supposed "serious" advice, then disappears without responding to any posts.
Troll?
He took the advice (of mysterymove).
I would keep away from 'break up sex' both for her benefit and yours. Its not unknown for a woman to try to maintain a relationship by getting pregnant. Not a slur on your girl, its just what a few women do when they are upset / afraid of loosing someone they love. When stressed and upset, people do odd things they would not normally consider doing.
+1 for by text.
He took the advice (of mysterymove).
Maybe he didn't fake it
I was in a very similar position some years ago.
Although I was first to suggest it, it came as a great relief to both of us to make the decision to split, though I felt guilty for having wasted so much of her time. We both went our seperate ways but remained in contact and still do with no hard feelings. 2 years down the line, we're both in new relationships and meet for a drink from time to time.
No regrets.
This topic has been closed to new replies.
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
