It’s the whole lot of things that pile up and I’m not coping well. Looking for a job without any effects, income guaranteed till mid-March max only. All the friends over Europe, can’t even talk to them at times. Family pretending they care about the idiot who happens to be my grandad. And my wife, whom I love a lot, more than I ever knew, who’s grumpy and shows me no affection whatsoever. My daughter is ill but daddy is needed only when she can’t get it from mummy. It sucks, really.
I feel really lonely, it’s the most gut-wrenching feeling to be alone amongst those you really care about. Especially, when they don’t want to talk.
Sorry, I might just have a shower. That’s my Christmas.
Over and out.

Could be a lot worse mate.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-12079050

Try looking for the positives, they are there. I’ve had a very crap year and there are times when you have to believe the only way is up as the thought of things getting worse can’t be contemplated.
Chistmas just has the effect of highlighting any problems, fortunately it’s only one day, tomorrow will be a new day.

Christmas can be like that at times, for a lot of people

If you need to talk email in profile – happy to hear a good gripe tbh 😉

sometimes life really sucks! 🙁 but it does get better too! 🙂 as long as there’s someone to talk to. we’ve seen a lot of these problems on this site and many of us want you to know that we care even when it feels like no-one else does, talk to us we’re happy to listen it’s always good to put a post on here and let people know how you feel.
happy christmas.

Don’t feel bad about your daughter mate. I get it all the time with my 3yr old, he only wants mum when he’s ill. Gets especially hard when mum is ill too. They never forget who you are though and you’ll probably find her very clingy on you in a day or two.

This time of year inevitably brings out the best and worst in people, seemingly at the same time. Your wife is no doubt stressed out

about everything, you might find she relaxes tonight and tomorrow when it’s all over.

My wife’s a teacher and gets similar to yours towards end of term. friday night comes and it’s sometimes like she’s a different person

Hairy chested you sound one miserable sod to have at christmas, welcome to my club, i thought i was the only member.

At least you have family, i have no one, dad and mum have died, brother i have hardly spoken to since i walked out of home on christmasday many years ago.

Today i have walked round the local park feeding the ducks squirreels and other wiold life, and they where so grateful for the food i gave them makes up for all the sadness i have.

All the friends over Europe, can’t even talk to them at times. Family pretending they care about the idiot who happens to be my grandad. And my wife, whom I love a lot, more than I ever knew, who’s grumpy and shows me no affection whatsoever. My daughter is ill but daddy is needed only when she can’t get it from mummy. It sucks, really.

these are all the positives you need – remember there are those who’ll spend christmas on their own and won’t see/speak to anyone throughout the festive period

It’s because of the hype about xmas.
If you think of it as just another weekend, it all seems normal.

Christmas does this to people, myself included. It should be a ‘happy’ time of year but i dont really see it tbh.

Hairychested, you hold in there but you must tell those you love how you feel or it will eat you up inside and it will only spiral out of control and you dont want togo there believe me……

Hope it all works out for you.

Sad to hear you’re feeling low on christmas day mate. I hope you can find at least some enjoyment with your family. As above, talking will help. Maybe that has already started by you talking about it here.

Project, I don’t think I’d swap with you unless the park was worth walking in 😉
At some point it looked as if I was going to go for a ride but my SLX brakes stopped working. It’s only -11 for God’s sake! The Hope’s rattle madly and are being fixed, no brakes working sufficiently here. And I’m not riding brakeless fixie, not man enough.
All the Christmassy things so far have been hoovering, fixing the bloody hoover that decided to stop working, cleaning the cat’s poo, resetting the boiler as it’s too cold and the poor thing refuses to work. And the flipping telly with its cartoons, I can’t stand Peppa Pig anymore! Or Tom and Jerry, or Garfield, or whatever-she-wants-to-watch-right-now!
My only hope is my daughter feels like a nap so I can demonstrate how it gets done without hearing I’m lazy and useless (I know I’m lazy without anybody telling me this, useless – more like CBA in most cases).
And why will my wife not even open the box of hand-made chocolate willies? It was “Oh, you know I’m on a diet, right?” and the box got thrown onto the top of kitchen cupboards.
Not a happy bunny me, not at all. It looks like I’ll be cleaning the car or changing the bulbs soon.

My life kinda ground to a halt 5 years ago with a break up from a girl which took a long time to get over…
My Biggest mistake was (that i can see now) was i was lucky to get out of that situation but couldnt see it at the time…
Problem is when your head is screwed up you cant see what IS good about life.
I admit to being lucky to keeping my job going (god knows how) through those times and it allowed me to keep cycling that was then as now a massive part of my life. Going through a rough patch makes you alot stronger to deal with stuff. i got rid of friends who werent supportive and didint want to know.
After a few years of riding alone i stuck my head out online and said hello and i have since met so many new friends since,on here aswell as other sites and Blogs…
I think the biggest problem for all of us in a situation is taking the step back and taking stock of our lives and what we DO have…which is actually alot-we just cant see it at the time…
You hang in there and dont be worried about seeking help/talking to friends…thats the thing about life-no one knows whats around the corner and you may well be there to help out for them one day…
have you thought about writing about stuff?, just write it in a diary,Then you have something to reflect on,looking back on it a few years from now you will see how much you can move on in life…
Good luck with the coming New Year and keep the chin up…
The right job will turn up for you…money isnt the answer but a wee bit extra goes a long way to making things easier…
Anytime you want jump on a train to Edinburgh, i would be happy to take you out biking with friends and put a smile on your face 😉 😮

It’s just xmas. Usual bullshit. Soon be 2011, up and at ’em on Jan 2nd, soldier…

Shortest day is gone, it’s all go towards the spring 😉

Sorry you feel down, sometimes it’s harder to be lonely with loved ones than on your own, i have been there too.

It can get better, i’m now very happy, chin up 😛

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your words.
I’m going to get the brakes fixed and go for a ride asap. Maybe not today, not sure I really could when my daughter is ill, but soon. Meanwhile, I’ll put up with Daddy Pig being quite an expert, Shaggy needing more Scooby snacks and the lack of decent scotch in the cupboard.
Minutes ago a neighbour (the cutest slut you could ever meet and I sort of wish I had before I got married, ehem) dropped in and invited all of us to hers for some bubbly and stuff. Her current shag-provider will be there too so it should be family-friendly. No, no photos at the moment, will see about it later (don’t fancy a ban). Suffice to say she’s blond, 24-ish, slim and wore a white lace outfit (top and leggins) with some pink lacy shorts. My wife thinks it looked nice, I suddenly realised not all blondes are unattractive.

Hairy.

Where abouts are you?

Maybe if anyone’s local they could meet up with you for a ride in the next few days?

If you’re anywhere near the west midlands you’re more than welcome to come out with us.
I’ll even lend you a bike/try to sort your out for you.
When I feel down the prospect of a ride always cheers me up.

HC – chin up fella, you could still be working in the ‘scarys’ shop 😉

Christmas can be difficult time, give if a few days and a ride or two and it’ll feel better.

I really wish,at times like know i could add something useful to this thread.

This year started badly, progressed into the lowest i’ve ever been then suddenly i snapped.

It’s a long complicated story and one that became known on here.

I don’t agree with all the xmas BS, it’s just not for me.

I’ve found myself, 650miles away from the family that i see has disowned me, and my 3 children whom i can’t make contact with (complicated and in a way justified)

I’m writing a blog about how i went from unhappy to content in 4 dramatic months. Some say it helps them and give them the hope and the motivation to make a few little changes. Which in turn make a big difference in their lives.

I’m in a home, where there’s no trimmings, in your face ‘it’s xmas’.

Yes we’re having a decent full on roast, nibbles and drinks, but to be honest, that could happen any time we wanted.

I’m with friends, am warm and dry and stress free.
Yet my heart is still alone.

Hairy.

Aside from speaking to others, strangers and friends have a chat to your GP.

And also take yourself away for as long as you can spare. Like many of us, we have a love and appreciation for the great and beautiful outdoors.

Watch the birds, the deer, the clouds, the stars. Walk through natures garden with you ears and eyes wide open.
Absorb life and be life.

Have those moments and live for them, because without it, we’d be nothing.

Take a walk, take a ride, enjoy it and write about your adventure.
Rule: Use only positive words thoughts and feelings.

Then learn to apply that in life.

Sorry to ramble and i hope that sort of makes sense.

Us hairychested men and girls need to stick together(in a non velcro manner)

HTH. 😕

Sorry to hear yr feeling crap. Xmas gets oversold and plenty of people feel like they’re not living the happy day they’re supposed to.
Recommend fixing yr bike and getting out on it. Always good for a bit of perspective. Or just a walk in the snow.
And +1 for a chat with yr GP. They can be good for a bit of support and perspective.
Hope rest of the day gets better….

You think that’s bad I’m in the house with 4 females so have no control over the TV.

Chin up life will get better and people always get down at Xmas as they see everyone else believing they’re having a great time and trouble free.

Oh dear. There’s so much pressure to be happy at Christmas isn’t there? Try not to buy into it too much, and don’t imagine that absolutely everyone else is having a wonderful Christmas while you are not, because that simply isn’t true.

As for the job, whether it lasts until March or not, worrying about it will not help at all, and in fact will use up processing power that you will require to seek alternative employment. Anyway, if you are going to look into the future and make predictions, why not make good ones rather than bad? Or does your crystal ball only do negative? 😉

I have rung the Samaritans once or twice – you don’t have to be actually suicidal – I found it tremendously helpful.

Perhaps you can get out on your bike tomorrow for a while?

If that fails, make a voodoo doll of your grandfather and burn it and the box of chocolate willies on a fire in the garden, dance around it naked, drunk as a skunk, laughing like a simpleton (maybe your neighbour will join you?)

Good luck x

I have spoken to my GP, got listed for counselling. Within a few months they should contact me. Who are “they”? No idea, people who do it I suppose.
I’m trying to fix the bike now. There’s a long scenic route nearby along the canal with hills on a side. Some 50kms, approx. 30 miles. Each way. No people to meet. But I need brakes 🙂
There’s a bottle of whiskey (Irish piss AKA Bushmills) next to me. Don’t even want to look at it let alone drink it. Roads no nowhere lead to nowhere, I’ve been up and down a few.
I’ve tried talking to my parents. My mum won’t even say hello, dad talks about the weather back there. They have another son who has a proper job and savings, I suppose I should understand them.
I know it’ll be fine eventually. There is a Kona A on the horizon, my dream bike really. My cat has become more friendly already. It’s the people who depress me. And my books (I’m reading Pat Barker’s trilogy, cheerful as Irish economy), and my music (why do I always go back to …And Justice For All when I feel crap?). But mostly people.
Even the bloody gym/pool is shut. Even the Chinese. XIVth century more like here.
And in the meantime, what kind of a person (swear-word filter avoidance in full force) prepares the Christmas TV programme? The wife has the RC, I fear Who Wants To Be The Next America’s X-Dancing on Celebrity Out Of Factor.

SSS, I’m in Ireland. That’s the little island where history got so complicated, the Garda (Police) don’t know a cycling trail allows mountainbikes to be ridden. Luckily, a Gardi on foot and I on 456SS pointing down a mountain trail were mismatched. He was quick but my brakes refused to work properly (and the trail was smooth and long with a few bends) so as much as I wanted to stop to allow a civilised conversation I just couldn’t. Ravensdale and Carlingford are beautiful, but the bloody brakes… 🙂

Step away from the Whiskey..

hoooraaah for the ss kona A and brakeless too..core stuff mate.

If your grandfather smokes, try a little light entertainment like i did one year.

Take apart one party popper(no xmas household will be without them)
remove small piece of rolled up paper, the hard white one. It’s a mini bomb.

Place it in Grandfathers favourite xmas smoke, Quite often a cigar.

Push it a good half way down for good effect.

Coax him into having it.

Sit back, film it and enjoy.

Warning: this may cause shock related reactions…

I’m in Ireland

Why not enter SSWC then or offer to help them out in some way.

If nothing else it’ll give you a good excuse to get out the house and meet some new people.

from personal experience, i’d recommend mindfullness course..

also a big change to me was getting rid of the telly, it is life sapping, depressing and it made a huge difference to my life getting rid of it, 5 years ago…

good luck

HC from experience don’t bottle it up mate, I did that this year with work and young family stress and ended up with my brain falling for a while.

You’ve got friends all over Europe, then drop them an email. Sometimes it’s easier to just write stuff down rather than try and talk about it.

Set yourself some goals for next year, things for you to look forward to, come and play at the SSWC, plan some road trips in places you’ve never been to, get some good gigs booked ( I always find a mosh and a pint does wonders!).

If you need to have a rant/moan/etc… email me or any of the other silly feckers on here, I’m always happy to take the piss without mercy help.

Hope it gets better matey.

big snogs in manly way XX

Heh HC whereabouts are you in Oirland? I’m an Ulsterman meself but I’m currently a POW (Prisoner of Wales!) – ah the Gardi; they make the PSNI look caring, cute and fluffy!

Bushmills? Jamesons here! 😉

Don’t worry mate, Christmas does strange things to many people. Although it doesn’t compare I’m sat in the in-laws house, it’s a good 30deg C of dry heat (due to the presence of grand parents) I’ve had to sit through Emerdale – hope none of the ‘actors’ ever get stuck in paper bags! Got to go to the missus’ grand parents tomorrow for similar heat and entertainment too!

Sanity has been saved by a morning bike ride with me mates, planning one for the 27th and Peroni.

God help me Coronation Street has just come on 😉

xmas, its a load of crap. I’ve been steadily feeling worse since about 10th December, It all came to a head today when I had a small asthma attack. Nothing serious but enough to put the cobblers up me…….first one I’ve had in over 10 years

Trouble is im stuck at the in-laws, they’re all coo-ing over a baby and I feel like a spare part.

It’s not even 7:30 and i’m in my bed ready for another sleepless night after having hardly slept over the last 5 days.

I can’t wait until all this nonsense is over and I can go home to my telly

Um…

I’ve spent the festive season working in intensive care and I find your problems, real and troubling as they may be, to be rather less than those I’ve looked after.

Sometimes you really should count your blessings…

Since the kids have grown up I hate Christmas and all the BS however having been Mr Humbug, I cooked a stonkingly good christmas dinner for all the family and the outlaws which they all thoroughly appreciated and enjoyed and then I just veged out and nodded off. I have in a bizarre way thouroghly enjoyed my day now.
I really was not enjoying this years festive season and so went along the lines of balls to it and didnt interact but immersed myself in the cooking banning anyone from doing anything in the kitchen-it was me time and everyone knew to leave me be-much akin to as solo ride.
If you make your distress/depression obvious to everyone that is still listening or can hear you and tell them whats wrong it will help or give you better direction on your way forward.
Hope you feel better soon and life piks up for all those out there on STW who are feeling down in the dumps.

I’m sure you are having troubles, and they are real to you, but I’m with Crikey on this.

chin up fella………….
but like crikey said………..there are a lot of people worse off.
you could be me…….. 😉

All the random circumstances that seem beyond your control are neither

I’m a social worker (of sorts), an agony uncle, a Samaritan, a negotiator, an arbitrator, a friend, an enemy, everything in between, & I’ve been there. (I’m actually a prison officer) but what you need most is…..Some effective brakes!
Chin up HC, it does improve believe me, i know!

I’m not so sure that pointing out that some other people are in a worse physical condition is much help to someone who finds themselves in a poor emotional condition.

I’m not so sure that pointing out that some other people are in a worse physical condition is much help to someone who finds themselves in a poor emotional condition.

It doesnt help, its the main reason that i bottle everything up and dont talk about it because even though i feel really low and fed up and lonely i’m basically healthy, have a job and a roof over my head which is better than some people, so i feel my issues are trivial even though i suspect they may not be.

I know it’s not always a popular idea among some of the puritan types that frequent this forum.. but I’ve always combatted being lonely (you can be lonely even when you’re surrounded by your nearest and dearest) by taking a stroll down to the local boozer to meet some new faces.. drown my sorrows a bit and get into some conversations that put it all into perspective..

I find it also helps to remember that you never know what’s around the corner.. last xmas was dire for me.. the only thing keeping me going was my baby son.. I felt so alone.. (turns out the other half felt the same way too).. this year is the complete opposite.. so much has changed.. inside and outside..

there’s always a solution.. take some time out from your trouble if you can and then look for solutions..

ach.. I don’t know it sounds corny or patronising perhaps but it usually works for me eventually..