I feel uncomfortable knowing the manipulative child is causing problems that hinder / affect the teaching of the rest of the class.

I don’t think anyone is saying otherwise.

What we are saying is that it wasn’t an appropriate response, if the teacher knew enough to say it was part of a bigger issue then they should know enough that they weren’t qualified to deal with it and as such should be referring to someone who can.

Take the kid to India or China and then wonder why they are overtaking us in education regarding discipline.

Give the kid detention.

Ask other parents your child has upset to sign a petition to remove your dumb kid?

Tell your kid to stop holding up other kids by being the weakest link.

What? The same India and China that you hear horror stories of teachers discipling children by shoving their hands into fuseboards and such?

I’m not sure what wasn’t made clear about the child having suspected bigger issues, are you saying that he/she should just be excluded and left behind?

You sound like a bundle of joy…

. and their teachers …

and do parents not show the consequences of behaviour to their children i.e. if you do that, then this will happen. Only for the child do the thing they were warned not to do so the parent must follow through on their warning to show the consequence. Boundaries tested and results of breaking them learned.

One of my many hats is safeguarding in education and my view (from the very limited info in the OP) is that the teacher’s response is not appropriate in any way UNLESS it’s part of some broader, agreed approach (which I cannot imagine that it would be).

There are a myriad of ways that challenging behaviour can be successfully addressed and children supported. This isn’t one of them IMO.

Take the kid to India or China and then wonder why they are overtaking us in education regarding discipline.

Give the kid detention.

Ask other parents your child has upset to sign a petition to remove your dumb kid?

Tell your kid to stop holding up other kids by being the weakest link.

Wow. Quite frightening to think that some of you might be parents TBH.

As above, if a kid punches someone – is it appropriate to punch them back? Principle is exactly the same.

the parent must follow through on their warning to show the consequence.

and how many times have we all stood in a queue or been in a park and heard a parent say ‘if you do that again X will happen’ only to repeat the same phrase 15 more times without ever taking sanction ‘X’?

Kids quickly learn that their activity has no consequence other than a bit of background verbal discouragement from a parent.

The teacher should stick to school behaviour policy. Complain if you want.

My kids never did anything stupid or there would be dire consequences.

I was quite tough with them without being physical but using mental strategies.

My son is now a junior Doctor and my daughter is studying law at Cambridge.
It’s not easy to raise kids, lots of time and frustration but don’t blame the teacher too much lol

well its bullying by teh kid so i imagine (would hope) there is quite a back story to this we are not party to.

i suspect what has happened is the teacher raised it with parents and school. the school head probably doesnt want to make a big deal out of bullying as its not good PR. teh parents probably dont give a toss (either ‘little tarquin would never do that’ or are too stupid to care) and the teacher is left trying to impose discipline within the limitations of the profession (ie a stern word). i imagine teh kid just enjoys the attention so the stern word doest have any effect.

if it was a child with ‘issues’ one would hope they would have classroom support which would limit opportunity to be quite so disruptive.

No kid starts off wanting to be bad.

Do you have children?

If you do, not sure how your ones behave….mine…..give me strength…

There are 3 of them and I’m sure they discuss each week who’s turn it is to give mum and dad grief.

One moment, wonderful little things, apple of their Dad’s eye, next moment. Sporn of the Devil.

As for the OP, I think after an explanation if their actions carry on….tough love.

Sporn 🙂

My son is now a junior Doctor and my daughter is studying law at Cambridge.

There are a lot of unhappy, miserable, outwardly successful people so while I’m not suggesting your ‘kids’ are that, it’s hardly a measure of successful parenting.

IMO of course.

Sympathy is a key point here.

If a parent or teacher sits down with a kid and has a ‘talk’ about not doing something, the kid (rightly) reacts as if s/he is getting a bollocking, and feels ashamed, frustrated, angry, and a whole host of negative emotions. Generally not a good place to be.

If a parent or teacher tries to understand what the problem is and gain the kid’s trust, then the kid is positively encouraged to try and change behaviour.

In othe words, most kids want to do the right thing.

Just consider how many different ways there are to say ‘why did you do this?’ and what feelings those different ways will create in the kid.

nemesis – Member
My son is now a junior Doctor and my daughter is studying law at Cambridge.
There are a lot of unhappy, miserable, outwardly successful people so while I’m not suggesting your ‘kids’ are that, it’s hardly a measure of successful parenting.
IMO of course.

No they are very happy and tell me to cheer up!

They didn’t inherit my misery gene(s) 😳

Good news 😉

My son is now a junior Doctor and my daughter is studying law at Cambridge.

Yeah? Well I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

I seriously hope you haven’t passed on the kind of nasty attitudes you’ve exhibited here. Referring to a child as ‘the weakest link’ FFS. 🙄