Is he allergic to anything?

Dogs? get a dog
Cats? Get a cat
Lions? Get a Lion.
Lead? Get a shotgun.

If all else fails including the throat slitting idea, get yourself some really good weed , get shitfaced and before you know it the idiot will have gone.

<searching threads on here to work out exactly who it is…>

Tell him you’re naturists and state you expect him to comply if he wants to stay at your house.

Be careful what you wish for.

hm, we have a cycling/drinking mate who could rabbit on for hours — its not a conversation and he’s quite patronising in the “I think you’ll find” and “I’ve done this” in an eleven-erife kind of way…

He takes pride in his ability to drone on and on, almost as if it marks him out in a good way. Can take only so much…

When they arrive, take him aside and show him that you have been assigning individual ring tones for all your contacts..

When he asks which ringtone you have assigned him (he will ask) play him Anti-Nowhere League’s So What!?

That should drive the message home

zanelad – Member

Just tell him he’s not welcome. I don’t get on with Mrs Z family. I can’t be arsed to put up with all their constant hassles. Just cos I married their sister/daughter doesn’t mean my life’s got to be one roller coaster of blame and counter blame about who did what, said what to whom.

They’re constantly falling out with each other, blaming another and before you know it the ones that fell out are fine and blaming the other. **** ’em. They’re worse than schoolkids.

This sounds exactly like my in-laws –

Cougar – Moderator
Is your partner’s sister’s partner actually “family”?

OP should hoof him in the slats. If OP’s partner reminds OP about it twice a week for the next thirty years, then he’s family.

This is precisely what garages were invented for. Surely the bike could do with a winter service?

This thread basically describes my Christmas, except replace ‘brother in law’ with ‘father’. And add extra alcoholism.

who are they on the forum as that barely narrows it down 😉

🙂
true. No.

Basically you’re stuffed. So make it clear that you are going to be civil for the benefit of your partner and that they owe you big time for your civility.

It’s not like you are going to get away without suffering the boring old shite for a couple of days so you may as well gain some brownie points out of the whole sorry saga.

But whatever happens you should send him the link to this thread, just for giggles.

I have one exactly the same. My own sister married him and no-one else understands why. I’m pretty sure it’s not to do with an equine sized appendage, he’s just a total bore who thinks he’s gods gift to film, TV and comedy. Everything gets the generic “great characters, really clever” review followed by demeaning anyone else who claims to get it, including my sister, with huge doses of patronising sarcasm. It’s just an unpleasant experience.

Natrix: Could it be that he is autistic?

Nope. Anyone on that spectrum wouldn’t feel the need to “share”

Sounds much more like the OP is a bit part player in the BiL’s narcissistic little world

Being nice costs nothing and seeing your SIL/niece seems like something your partner wants to do. Don’t have them to stay but do organise an afternoon out and an evening meal maybe. Simply say I don’t want to be rude but I’m not really interested in that when he starts to drone on and change the subject or go and do something else.

yeah, just be all affable and jolly and say “for ****’s sake < > , change the record – we had the < > lecture last time you were here”

and repeat

or, nuclear option – “what do you know about bike? – do you think I should go for 650b wheels or 29er? I mean, 26 is fine and all but you just can’t stay there forever, right? I’ve just got one of those …..”

(but if you have any kittens, send them to a friend’s for the week)