I'm sorry if I'm one of the people who disappointed you, glenncampbell.

I was in the OP's position once, except I didn't even have a girlfriend; in my own eyes, I was a loser in a dead-end job.

I had symptoms like the OP has symptoms, but I wasn't depressed, I was just frustrated and anxious. Not the same thing at all. I got out of it, eventually, with the aid of some fairly straightforward, but informed, careers counselling. That's all it took. Not by visiting a GP and thankfully not by taking prescription drugs.

In the meantime, I coped with not having as much money as I'd have liked, feeling undervalued, underemployed and all the rest of it (which is specifically what the OP asked for help with) by riding, reading and seeing my mates. And hanging on with grim determination. The same coping strategies I use now I'm in a well-paid job that I like, in other words.

Like many people, I have personal experience of depression but I don't see how it's relevant to this thread. My mother-in-law has trouble walking. Doesn't make me an osteopath. Knowing how much training professional counsellors and listeners have to do before they're let loose on potentially vulnerable lives, I'm suspicious of people offering their 'support' on here, too. But that's a different thread.

Anyway, a few of us have asked the OP specific questions with the intention of helping. My questions, I know, were based on my own experience of getting out of the hole, but that's not to say they're relevant to him at all. It would be interesting to see his answers, if he feels like responding?

…come to think of it, my own 'symptoms' were nothing like as worrying as the OPs. I certainly never got violent.

Maybe he should get himself off to the doc's. From the thrust of his post, though, he seems frustrated at not being able to get a job, so maybe a careers counsellor would be more help. A professional one like I saw, not one of those useless wastes of space you (used to) get in educational establishments.

Good luck mate.

Nicely put DK.

I think a few people on here have either a) been through the 'system' with their mental problems or b) work in it or know someone who does. So that is relevant experience I guess.

Wow, I wasent expecting such a huge list of replies. I want to say thanks, whether forums members consider its helped or not it has. I have read every reply as this is important to me.

I dont know how clear I came off in my first post but I see this as situation frustration. Im sick of my job (Yep, who isnt?) Im annoyed at living at home and having to commute in like the rest of us underpayed, under-appreciated people. People are ultimately selfish, and what may seem tiny to one person might seem a mountain to another. Fact is, I know from past experience just telling someone to man up or get on with generally dosent help. I want to sort my problems, but for the moment, I asked for advice on how to stop myself falling that little further that might just push me over the edge. To sort my problems is to get a better paid, full time job and start my life again but to start feeling a little more positive about myself and my ability I have to find a short to middle term way of coping with the frustration and anger. I dont have a drug habit, never tryed anything in my life. Same with smoking. Drinking is a rarity for me compared to 90% of young people. I mentioned the times before as they are significant to me and highlighted to me I have a problem when maybe Ive just been casually ignoring it, but I wont touch alcohol now until close to the end of April, depending on how I am feeling in myself.

My mum is a manic depressive. Late last year she spent 2 months in bed practically every day with us hiding her car keys and removing any form of medication that she could overdose on so she wouldnt drive herself off the road or drug herself. She has plenty of past problems, and has never been healthy in the illness sort of the word, even if her diet and routine is. I do believe I might be a little more exposed to it than someone like my brother who is like water off a ducks back due to what gene pool I fell into, however I am not using this as an excuse. I have had depression before, and have self harmed so I know the signs. Although this dosent follow the same traits as last time I feel myself going this way.

I dont want to seem like a moany weak self involved individual, but last night I had had enough. Who cant say they have never moaned about their day or had a bad day when they havent felt themselves? Im not looking for someone to cure me, or to give me the answers, just opinions and ideas on what people have also been through and what worked for them. Thankfully there are alot of people who want to help and have had similar, or seen similar and I am genuinely sorry if some members thought this was a waste of time. I can take a joke no problem, but I didnt mean for this thread to turn into an argument between members. I am also not going to go and take an overdose or do anything else stupid.

I had a long chat with my doctor today who recognised that I have signs of going towards being 'clinically depressed' but Im not there yet. We talked about it alot, and the use of CBT and decided it was probably best for me at this stage. Normally, exercise would be on my agenda no end as jogging, jumping on the cross trainer, doing weights or other exercises is in my normal routine but Im taking it easy due to not knowing the outcome of my wrist yet.

Again, thanks to everyone who chipped in, if seen as good or bad its all helped.

Doug

Doug – I have read your post and wish you well. You were wise visiting your GP and you have been listened to. Hang in there.

Everyone has different views and experiences but there was a tremendous amount of support for you. Take one day at a time.

its a common symptom of finishing a degree, and finding out your massively indebted, living at your parents and seemingly unemployable.

happens to loads of people.

do a phd, you'll get paid and have a purpose again.

" God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

gotta try to be happy with what ya got, cos it's a damn sight better than a lot of people on this planet. Our perspective is skewed.

I can take a joke no problem, but I didnt mean for this thread to turn into an argument between members.

Don't worry about that. All the interesting threads end up as arguments. It seems to be the nature of the beast that is STW

mrsflash – Member

One of the good things about STW is that there are loads of fellow sufferers out there, and generally they are very supportive and honest about it.

as I said in my post on the cycling books trhead the other day, I swear there is some sort of correlation between cycling and depression.

I don't think there are any more on here than in the general population – infact exercise helps reduce depression.

something ridiculous like 1:3 of the population will have some sort of mental health issues at some point in their lives.

"I swear there is some sort of correlation between cycling and depression."

physical exercise is a great anti-depressant. That's all.

I agree with TJ, you'd be surprised how many of the population have depressive illness of some kind. If you're trying to say cyclists are more likely depressives. then that's just bollucks. You gathered all this wide ranging info from what.. a cycling forum?

The sky is not going to fall down, the world is not going supernova, the rich bankers still get away with screwing everyone and alien is not going abduct you for "probing" … so what fear do you have?

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Do you owe someone a lot of money that they are going to seriously hurt you?

2. Is someone close to you terminally ill? i.e. dying?

3. Do you have enough £££ to live on i.e. 3 meals and a roof over your head even if it means renting?

4. Are you dying of illness? i.e. few more months to live?

If answered No on all of them then you need to have a life style change.

Do not worry about the job as that will come by even if it means a bit slow. Cover you basic and you will be fine.

Forget your iPod generation as you have been brainwash into wanting everything and wanting them now. You are stuck in the loop. Get out of that mindset quick or you are going in for a very tough ride soon.

Keep life simple. You must keep in mind that in life you cannot have everything and not especially at such a young age. You definitely should not go on spending your "future money" i.e. credit card.

Learn to be patience. As long as the burden in life is not on you, you should learn to walk before you try running or flying. You may jump off the building if you want but that is your own doing and nobody is to blame.

Learn to live with moderation. You do not have to have tonnes of £££ to be happy. You are already happy if you have someone who is willing to be with you – your girlfriend. You have your girlfriend so cherish the moment with her. Learn to cook for her when you have time and take time to cook. Go out for a walk or ride whatever so long as both of you enjoy.

Learn the hardship in life while you are young and able. Harvest your experience in life when times comes.

Learn to detach from unnecessary material wealth … Want! Want! Want! Take! Take! Take!

Finally, if you need medication to cope with the situation so be it but try not to rely too much on medication.

🙂

I don't think there are any more on here than in the general population – infact exercise helps reduce depression.

The main cause of my depression was no longer really being able to go out and exercise due to CFS/ME. I suspect there are quite a few people on here who have issues of one kind or another meaning they are unable to get out on their bikes much. Chatting about bikes online is kind of the next best thing you can manage from home – though nowhere near as rewarding obviously.

BTW I'm sorry if I over reacted to some of the earlier posts – I am feeling pretty low at the moment and maybe I'm being over-sensitive or something.

Dorset Knob – have re-read my post and see where you're coming from. I wasn't having a pop at you at all so please don't think that I was; especially as I agree with the point you've made. So, no offence intended. However, there are comments that I feel are less than constructive here and Dooge is asking advice on a very serious and personal matter – not on bikes and kit.

The only point I'm making is that the usual STW bitching (fun as it can be) on the forums should be suspended on posts like this – I think it's only fair. Also naive on my part probably! We all make judgements on people – me especially – but it's how we express these judgements, either positively or negatively, that actually matters.

Anyway, mini rant over. Hope you all get out on the bike over easter in some good weather 😉

Sorry, not read all of this, so you may have covered this bit already. If you have not already done so, tell your girlfriend how you are feeling. Otherwise she might misunderstand what the fight picking is about, feel unwanted or hurt or indeed just get fed up of you and leave you. Its important she understands whats going on in your head and that it is just temporary and no critism of her.