How to combat feelings of frustration, anger and getting easily wound up.

Chat Forum

[closed]

How to combat feelings of frustration, anger and getting easily wound up.

94 posts & 46 voices | Started 2 years ago by dooge | Latest reply from Midnighthour

Tags:

No tags yet.

Pages: 12 3 Next »

dooge - Member

Hey all,

I need some advice. I am thinking I have a problem and I need to get it sorted.

Since finishing my degree last year, having to move home and carry on with my part time job while looking and applying for more work I just constantly feel frustrated, angry, bitter and snappy. It started having an effect before christmas when I noticed I was grinding my teeth a lot, and have subsequently done minor damage to my teeth. Then I met my girlfriend and had a full xmas of work which I loved (being busy, working, not the job itself) and everything was fine until more recently. I have been cut back to basic 24 hours a week, and have applied to a few jobs only to never get an acknowledgement or interview.

Recently, I have resorted to the old feelings of being lost, not knowing what to do, which direction to take and with this frustration of being as skint as a student, living out of bag constantly traveling between work, my girlfriends and home (20ish miles away and a pain to commute) and impatience to get out of my overdraft and get on with life.

I have now started two arguments over absolutely nothing at all with my girlfriend when out drinking and I know its been my fault, but its hard to deal with everything at the moment. She currently is a training nurse undertaking her dissertation and working in a hospice so always has enough on her plate, but helps me when she can.

Its got to the point where destroyed my phone a few weeks ago, and then I hit a metal bin on Saturday night after another argument braking my scathoid in my right hand meaning I cant ride my bike for 6 weeks at the moment. It also just makes life more difficult again. Ive been trying to write a covering letter using the new Office Word 2007 and I got so angry I almost broke down crying in frustration for having no idea of how to use it.

I always used to be a rational, happy, normal, realistic person but lately I just feel like a bitter angry individual who is just self destructing everything around him. I know the reasons why, but for the time being how do I just control myself? I know once I find a better paid job that gets me out of debt, allows me to not have to scrimp on everything and means I can move out to start my life I will feel much better, but in the meantime I just seem to be causing problem after problem for myself.

Im sure plenty have had phases in their life when they feel like this, what have you done to get around it?

Doug

Posted 2 years ago #
Jamie - Member

Can someone please summarise all that.*

*Please don't hit me.

Posted 2 years ago #
project - Member

Dooge youre in exactly the same position as a lot of oput there, violence doesnt help,(but it does make you feel better).

Keep pluging away and something good may happen.

Posted 2 years ago #
TandemJeremy - Member

One for professional help - counselling might do the trick - to your GP and ask for a referral or self refer if you don't want to go thru your GP.

sounds to me like the sort of thing that can be helped quite quickly and easily.

Posted 2 years ago #
dooge - Member

Violence towards others is something I have never done and as mad as I ever got, would never do.

I am going to the GP tomorow for my Exczma so I might have a chat with her aswell.

Posted 2 years ago #
deadlydarcy - Member

You could try beating Jamie up for being so flippant

Posted 2 years ago #
johnners - Member

Like TJ says. See a professional, nip it in the bud.

Posted 2 years ago #
midlifecrashes - Member

Been there, done that, fortunately without the hitting out bit. Do you need to cut down on the beer? 24 hours work of a week should be enough to put some structure into your week that unemployed folk don't get which sometimes makes this stuff worse. I found volunteer stuff (BTCV, trailbuilding?, charity work) helped a lot to get my head together, together with learning new skills via PC and library. Winter never helps either, but that might be gone by next week. Good luck with it.

Posted 2 years ago #
deluded - Member

Look into CBT - http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

All the best.

Posted 2 years ago #
grim168 - Member

6 weeks for a scaphoid. You'll be lucky. Mine was 3 months of a job.

Posted 2 years ago #
grumm - Member

Definitely go and see your doctor.

Some of these might possibly help in the meantime. They are CBT exercises - some people find them very effective.

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

Posted 2 years ago #
mrsflash - Member

I think you sound like you might be depressed to be honest. I get the teeth grinding thing a lot, it's quite a common symptom, as is feeling lost, flying off the handle etc.

Agree with advice above, go and see the doc.

Posted 2 years ago #
tankslapper - Member

*Anger Management for Dummies*

As above seek professional help but reading could help?

I read the below, recommended to an individual with anger issues and they said it helped, but heh! I'm not a Doctor after all

*The Tao of Pooh the Te of Piglet*

(pics link thingy borked!!)

Posted 2 years ago #
Jamie - Member

deadlydarcy - Member
You could try beating Jamie up for being so flippant

I would deserve it as well.

Posted 2 years ago #
tinribz - Member

Go Vegan.

Posted 2 years ago #
GJP - Member

I agree with Mrs Flash - it sounds like it could be Depression to me. Frustration, anger, irritability, indecisiveness are all common symptoms of Depression. Some more common in men than women.

For example, low serotonin in men is associated with anger even violence, in women tearfulness etc.

I found this yesterday which I found gave perhaps the most comprehensive description of depression symptoms I have seen.

Depression Symptoms

Posted 2 years ago #
dooge - Member

Cheers gents, all helpful. To be honest, Ive never been a massive drinker. I had 3 pints of cider over 2 hours on Paddys night, and thats when I destroyed my phone. Granted though, Sat night was a different story but its not a regular occurence. Ive never been a big drinker, and normally have been the one to look after others.

Posted 2 years ago #
druidh - Member

Some easy things to try...

Cut out the alcohol.
Make sure you're getting enough sleep.
Exercise regularly.

Posted 2 years ago #
tazzymtb - Member

alternatively you could just take out all your anger and frustration by being a massively egocentric keyboard warrior like some of the STW forumites. It seems to work for them

Posted 2 years ago #
coogan - Member

Posted 2 years ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

It's good that you recognise your behaviour needs addressing. Obviously riding your bike will help, can I recommend a singlespeed as being particularly good at getting rid of angst.

You do have a lot to deal with by the sounds of it. It's really just a case of changing your mindset. Don't feel like a victim. Take control. Be optimistic.

Good luck.

Posted 2 years ago #
Zoolander - Member

Shame you are off the bike for a few weeks as a ride can solve most things. When I go a bit darkside I usually get out and ride, go for a really long walk or go for a run. The latter two may be an option for you. Ps I could ride fairly flat trails after about 5 weeks (with a wrist support) when I fractured a scaphoid, so won't be long before you can get some miles in.

Posted 2 years ago #
MrNutt - Member

speak openly with your GP.

Posted 2 years ago #
badnewz - Member

You're under-employed. Try some volunteering, helps get your mind off things and its nice to be nice - brings its own blessings.

Posted 2 years ago #
rightplacerighttime - Member

Do you do any drugs?

If you do, don't go wasting your GPs time, just stop the drugs and see how you feel in 3 months.

This might include alcohol.

I notice you say "when out drinking" - does this imply, when out getting very drunk?

Maybe try not doing that too. Did you smash up the phone and bin whilst drunk?

Maybe try AA instead of your doctor.

Posted 2 years ago #
Mr Woppit - Member

Speaking from recent experience, dooge, when you've been to the lowest place you can, it kind of levels off a bit into resignation. Sorry I can't be more positive, but you DO have an actual job at the moment. Try and build on that.

Posted 2 years ago #
tails - Member

This might help I was reading in the paper the other day about the footballer Wayne Rooney who alongside being a good player is known for his bad temper.

They were saying how he has been alot more calm this year, he said he used to box and play football until Everton said he had to give up boxing, in the last year he has taken it up again which coincides with his more mature displays when on the field.

I would also add that some of the most calm and happy people I know take part in martial arts or some form of fighting.

Perhaps give it a go, releasing your stress down the gym to leave you happy on a Sat night with your lass. Plus you'll make some new friends.

Posted 2 years ago #
Dorset_Knob - Member

Welcome to the real world. At the risk of sounding unsympathetic, your problems aren't unique and aren't that great.

Do you think you're the only person in the world who feels 'underemployed' and undervalued? I had those feelings when I was working in menial jobs after leaving college and I have them now I am in a 'senior' position doing a job I love.

Your problem is, you've got angry after a few beers and now you're wallowing in self-pity.

Consider those people in the world with real problems, consider how lucky you are, stop drinking if you can't handle it, and get on with life, like everyone else has to.

But at least you've recognised you have problems coping, which is step 1 in fixing them.

Do you know what job you want? Have you identified a strategy to get yourself into that job? If you can do that, it will at least give you some positive actions and a plan to work to, instead of drifting from one application to the next.

Posted 2 years ago #
molgrips - Member

Dorset knob, telling someone who may be depressed that they're no different to anyone else and basically mtfu is really not helpful.

+1 for TJ, get some help. It can really work wonders when you're stuck.

Posted 2 years ago #
barca2 - Member

It sounds as if you're in a deep endless depression.
The only way I can see you getting out of it is by taking lots of drugs. All at once. You certainly won't be in a deep depression anymore. A deep coma maybe but not a depression.
Always happy to help.
Xx

Posted 2 years ago #
cynic-al - Member

Agreed. Telling someone to MTFU is rarely helpful unless it's meaning "you CAN actually overcome this".

Posted 2 years ago #
cinnamon_girl - Member

Some pretty shocking replies there.

Dorset_Knob and barca2 - I would ask whether either of you have seen someone reach rock bottom due to their depression being ignored? Someone I love experienced this and it got as bad as it gets. To see it happen in front of your eyes - someone in complete and utter turmoil - and not knowing how to help. It's not something you can forget.

I will always listen to people who are struggling, people from here (some complete strangers) have e-mailed me. It can be easier to open up to someone you have not met and is thus unable to judge you.

dooge - my e-mail is in my profile.

Posted 2 years ago #
grumm - Member

It sounds as if you're in a deep endless depression.
The only way I can see you getting out of it is by taking lots of drugs. All at once. You certainly won't be in a deep depression anymore. A deep coma maybe but not a depression.
Always happy to help.
Xx

WTF! Why on earth would you post that? Do you think it's clever to be a really unpleasant person?

Posted 2 years ago #
rightplacerighttime - Member

But medicalising someone's social problems is also unhelpful.

Giving someone the excuse that they are clinically depressed when in fact they just need to look at the way they live lets them off the hook and does them no favours.

Posted 2 years ago #
grumm - Member

Who appointed you as an expert in the life of someone you've never met?

I think his GP is in a far better position to assess what the best course of action is than you are. Talking about 'wasting the GPs time' is unhelpful.

Becoming angry to the point of seriously injuring yourself is a potential indicator that you may well need some help. Drinking may be a symptom of the problem as much as a cause - who knows? Certainly not you.

Posted 2 years ago #

RSS feed for this topic

Pages: 12 3 Next »

Topic Closed

This topic has been closed to new replies.

Singletrack Mountain Bike Magazine

Chat Forum

How to combat feelings of frustration, anger and getting easily wound up.

Topic Closed

Don't miss…

Singletrack

Website & Forums

Exits