Got bored by page 2 and couldn’t be bothered to write a list.

On STW since GoFar days, so how much … er very. 🙂

Dont belong to anyone am zee on person but have many of the above
and been a very strong Orange fan indeed for many a year and been in there Development department

Have an Audi? : Does a 29yr old MK2 Golf GTI count?
Drink tea/coffee? : Coffee and tea
Work in an office? : **** no…..i get my hands dirty at manual work
Work in IT? ; **** no
Wear a suit? : **** no, don’t own a suit/shirt/tie,shoes or trousers of any sort
Shave and own a fancy razor? : **** no, shave with hair clippers once a week
Bald? : **** no, plenty of hair left at 40 thank you very much
Own hand made brogues? : Ha….ha….ha…..ha…..ha…..ha….ha…..ha…..**** no
Ridden a single speed? : Yep
Ridden a 29er? : Yep
Ridden a 650b? : Not yet
Ridden a Fatbike? No
Own a hardtail? : Yep
Like trail centres? : They’re ok for a mindless blast
Have a log burner? : Yep
Commuted by bike? : Yep
Use the word “content” in thread titles? : No
Or append “trackworld” to random words in thread titles? : No
Know what tyres I want on my bike? : Yep
£300 knife to chop carrots? : **** off you ****!
Send monetary “gifts” to people I don’t know? : My chosen Charity?, Yep
Know how to use Google? : Yep
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc : Don’t need a watch, my iphone tells the time quite happily without the need for a status symbol on my wrist
Sling or pushchair : Eh?, nae kids, not now…not ever.
Got a dog? : I borrow my ex gf’s
Multiple bikes? : Yep
Titanium bike? : Yep
Carbon bike? : **** off, i’m not riding a plastic bike
Have an on-one? ; No
Have an orange 5? : No
Posted excel help threads and had elegant solutions from Stoner? : What’s excel?.
Percentage of national yearly average wage earned : 47%
Percentage of satisfaction with your life : 91% (this may be an arbitrary figure with no quantifiable reasoning behind it).

Wood burner – yes
Wood piles – yes
Audi – No, Citroen C5 bought here on the classifieds, still going strong and an old Discovery on mud terrain tyres that I hope will be awesome when the snow comes.
IT – no
Artist – yes
Suit – worn once in ten years for a speeding court appearance.
Handmade Brogues – seldom worm
Suede loafers – best worn with bib tights, CynicAl may have photographic proof.
Tea – only with leaves in the cup
Sausages – yes please over woodsmoke in a frying pan with brown sauce.
Shave – only when seen in public using cheap cartridge razor
Hair dye – grey and balding happily.
Bikes N+1? – +1+1+1….. Too many to list but the one I use most was a bitsa special from the classifieds.
Watch – none since the battery died
Moths – in abundance on balmy summer evenings
Snowdrops- waited for in eager anticipation.
DIY? – have a go champion
Trail Centres – not even if I’m dragged by my fingernails.
Daffodils? – left best in nature where everyone can enjoy them.
Carbon fork modifications with cutlery – only if a big hitter says it’s safe.

STW forum has lead to…..

• 2nd hand Cotic soul frame aquisition (from an STW’er of course)
• Switch to 711 bars from something old school skinny
• Switch to tubeless set up on Flow rims
• A sizeable experimental tyre collection
• A Jedi session (I even sacrificed some chin skin and claret on his singletrack s-bend altar to appease the STW gods)

I’m here to feel better about myself by looking down on others despite
my low rent real life.

Or as I’ve moved on from Audi coffe machines Single speed and Swedish knives maybe I’m more stw than most

Have an Audi? About 10 years ago I had an A4 from new and put 250,000 miles on her.
Drink tea/coffee? Coffee and tea, all types but i do love my bean to cup coffee machine
Work in an office? Yup
Work in IT? No
Wear a suit? Rarely.
Shave and own a fancy razor? Just a normal one, used as little as possible
Bald? Certainly not. 45 and a good head of hair, a few strands of grey though.
Own hand made brogues? hand made yes, brogues no.
Ridden a single speed? No. Gears were invented for a reason.
Ridden a 29er? No. No intentions
Ridden a 650b? I honestly don’t know what this is
Ridden a Fatbike? No and no plans to
Own a hardtail? Yep
Like trail centres? Yes
Have a log burner? No although we owned one once when we had a cottage
Commuted by bike? 28 miles a week. Recovering from illness so I’ve only commuted twice in the first week
Use the word “content” in thread titles? No
Know what tyres I want on my bike? Yes.
£300 knife to chop carrots? No
Send monetary “gifts” to people I don’t know? Yes
Know how to use Google? Yes
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc – Patek,
Sling or pushchair – neither
Got a dog? No Three cats though, 2 from a rescue centre
Multiple bikes? Yes
Titanium bike? Yes
Carbon bike? Yes One road one FS
Have an on-one? No
Have an orange 5? No
Think life revolves around this forum No
ever had an argument online No

Have an Audi? err no!
Drink tea/coffee? either
Work in an office? no
Work in IT? no
Wear a suit? Yep. 5 days a week.
Shave and own a fancy razor? Nope, but on the to buy list.
Bald? No. Currently sporting a red stripe in my hair.
Own hand made brogues? no
Ridden a single speed? yes
Ridden a 29er? Yes. Just bought one.
Ridden a 650b? no
Ridden a Fatbike? no
Own a hardtail? yes
Like trail centres? yes
Have a log burner? no
Commuted by bike? no
Use the word “content” in thread titles? no
Or append “trackworld” to random words in thread titles? no
Know what tyres I want on my bike? Yes
£300 knife to chop carrots? No. I use Sabatier.
Send monetary “gifts” to people I don’t know? no
Know how to use Google? Yes
Rolex/Omega/Breitling etc – no
Sling or pushchair? No kids here!!
Got a dog? no but want one.
Multiple bikes? Yes. 3
Titanium bike? no
Carbon bike? No. Would like a HT Carbon 29er though.
Have an on-one? no
Have an orange 5? no!!!
Posted excel help threads and had elegant solutions from Stoner? No

That’ll learn me for late night posting….half missing. Lets try that again:
STW forum participation has resulted in the following in just over a year……

• 2nd hand Cotic soul frame aquisition (from an STW’er of course)
• Switch to 711 bars from something old school skinny
• Switch to tubeless set up on Flow rims
• A sizeable experimental tyre collection seems to have taken residence in the garage.
• All servicing and repairs done in house with great enthusiasm but lots of swearing.
• A Jedi session (I even sacrificed some chin skin and claret on his singletrack s-bends altar to appease the riding gods)
• what…. dropper seat post for 29er fat bikes/overcast day tyres/spd shoe with built in GPS/pedal colour for the Peak District//Audi badged baby buggy/trail centre with most pubs in 1 mile radius/cake made of sausage meat/beard trimmer multi tool/tie dyed steel frame/WHATEVER…..
• TJ who?

Think I’m almost there……..just have to sort a switch to flats and ditch a chain ring or two and I can be assimilated into the STW hive…..