Firstly apologies if this is a bit rambling - its been a long day and I am reasonably drunk.
Today was pretty much a normal Saturday until about 3pm when I got a phone call from my uncle who I haven't spoken to in about 20 years saying he had some bad news. As grannybgoode is very ill and very old I assumed it would be to let me know death had finally defeated her after 15 years of trying.
As it turned out my dad, who had been in pretty much good health and just about to turn 70, had collapsed in Paris (where he lives).
3 hours later he was dead.
Thing is I am not that bothered. He left my mum when I was 5 and moved to Australia when I was 10 and that **** me up pretty badly. In recent years we have been perfectly amicable but never really close - definitely not a 'normal' father / son relationship - I just feel there is an expectation for me to be devastated which I am not.
Yes I am sad and I feel terribly sorry for his wife (remarried many years ago) and am particularly anxious about grannybgoode but am I bothered about my father's passing? I don't know.
Is this normal? Will it hit me later on? What do I say to people (Mrs Danny for example) who say I am bottling stuff up?