f he's important to you, then you'll find time for him. If he's not, then you wont, and you'll soon realise.Every single relationship out there is about compromise, and you have to choose how much give and take you are willing to offer.
If you want to have a relationship with him then you need to sacrifice something...if you dont you will end up not being in a relationship with him
don't sack him off.
<does double take>
Phew, carry on 
How much time / commitment do you give a new relationship?
17.3 minutes and 37.2% respectively.
If you don't want to spend time with him, then, well..............
that's it I'm afraid.
can't face ever being so hurt again.
Just remember, in the long run, we're all dead.
I think you've brought this up on here because you want us all to tell you what you already know.
I'm not really one for all of that self help mumbo jumbo, but I do believe that sometimes you have to "feel the fear and do it anyway."
Good luck.
<does double take>Phew, carry on
*applause*
can't face ever being so hurt again
That's a bit like never crossing the road ever again in case you get run over. Sure, you'll never be hurt, but you'll miss out on a lot of cool stuff too.
My late 20's and early 30's has been a regular string of short term relationships which tend to break up after the 'in lust' phase passes, or sometimes during. Put simply committing properly to a relationship means compromising of the life I have and really love, and I haven't wanted to do that. There are times now when I avoid trying start a relationship, as I can see where it will end up and I don't won't to be dishonest or make promises I can't keep. Maybe I'll find someone that I am happy to make these compromises for, but I'm in no rush. Good luck.
can't face ever being so hurt again.
Ever fallen of your bike?
Did you give up?
WTFU
Some wise (and funny!) words above.
Time to have a think - I guess either I accept that (like everyone) I take a chance of getting hurt and go with it, or I decide to never risk it and stay single. And I think with him I like the first option best
As for if I want to spend time with him? Well, yes, and when I do I seem to forget about everything else and am happy. It's just when I'm not with him, that all these other concerns come creeping in.
And at the moment, it's in those somewhat hedonistic early days, when there's lots of enthusiasm and I think that's what's prompting him to want to see me lots, and me to get scared!
it feels like I've met someone I'd like to be with.
spent most of my adult life in a long term, mainly positive relationship which ended 2 years ago. Separation was as amicable as these things can be, but hurt me dreadfully and left me feeling that I had lost everything
Examine this statement from another angle. For 20 years you had everything, a balance between a good relationship, hobbies and your friends. Because you were prepared to take a leap into the unknown. Knowing this, you should just go for it and do what you enjoy doing. That should mean that you spend more time with your new partner and do slightly less in other areas. Have fun
On a contrary note to all the other posters here, I would say you don't need to go out of your way just yet to put the constant commitment and compromise in just yet. You say you see him 2 or 3 times a week - what's wrong with that?
I would just relax with the situation - maybe bring it up with him, but don't assume that there is some threshold, under which you're not officially in a relationship. Personally, I love it when a girl has her own life, passions and interests. I would hate it if her entire life was just spending time with me - she would be so much less interesting.
Don't hurry it. As long as he doesn't get the wrong idea.
(Then of course, I'm 31 and still single, so what the hell do I know?)
Scary thread.
Do you like cats?
From a bloke's point of view, there will come a point when he might not keep asking if he starts to feel he's harrassing you.
Possibly sooner rather than later as well. It can be hard to put things together again when one party has felt rejected or ignored by the other in an early part of the relationship when you don't really know where you stand.
translates as1) Easyjet to Scarborough
2) Inflatable at Southport
3) Throwing yourself off bridges in full bike leathers
4) Kebab houses
5) Tupperware parties with your mums freinds
wors, I think they've done it and the schlong dimensions are positive:
t's in those somewhat hedonistic early days
Nice one! take it easy and get him out with your mates for rides n stuff, then sue time in the eve. Sorted!
List the positives in your life and I reckon you'll include this new man. List the negatives and if your job doesn't top the list then you've been grossly misleading us. Now work on giving more time to the positives and less to the negatives (if you can't can't change job as Peter wisely suggests).
I'm not sure if this is a first for STW ... but I listened to some of the advice on here 
Had a slight wobble - ie the "I'm not sure if this is what I want" panic mode text ... But he was so nice about it, and happy to give me all the space and time I wanted, that I stopped and remembered some of the comments on here. So I finally WTFU, and now feel OK about us spending time together ... actually more than OK ... rather happy and smiling far too much for a Monday
Cheers guys, sometimes you speak words of wisdom ...
Hope it all goes well for you Sue - enjoy!!
*is only the teensiest weensiest bit jealous*
Has he got any single mates??
Just in case any ladies get any ideas, I am NOT single, OK?
Oh and the same goes for the fellas.
I'd maybe talk to him about it as well in a non-heavy way. More along the lines of - i like you, i'm a bit broken so might be a bit random but that is just the way it is. Communication is everything. Guessing is dangerous. Good luck. Nice to see a postive thing happening to someone and not posts of drunk chavs on trains
SueW
Sounds like a very promising start and one I would be very happy with in your shoes.
Instead of appearing to turn him down, and if it's not a step too far in this early stage, why not check out diaries for the next few weeks and sort it out that way.
Good luck 
This is brilliant, and rather **** excellent news
I'm ever so pleased for you my lovely 
*kisses*
A happy thread!
We should have it stuffed.
Sue, if you're half as nice in real life as you are on here, then he's a lucky chap indeed.
Spring's on the way, days getting longer - enjoy yourselves
Like my dad told me once - work, relationship, hobbies... pick two. Well not entirely like that, but very hard to give enough time to them all. One of them will eventually crumble.
Can we ask the most important question?
Have you touched his monkey yet?
Thanks guys!
and Crikey - LOL ...
... actually more than OK ... rather happy and smiling far too much for a Monday
The excitement you get early on in a relationship......you cant beat this feeling, cherish it
I have no advice and if you knew me you wouldn't ask for it but just go with it and see what happens naturally, try not to have any pre-conceptions about where its going, what does it all mean - just enjoy the happiness youre feeling now. Good luck
Awwww... I'm dead pleased for you
Now you have the dreary monotony of a long term relationship to loof forward to.
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