My point was generally about kids not knowing how lucky there are with what’s available in comparison to 20-30 years ago.

20-30 years ago I lived in a house with central heating, our car was parked outside, my sister and I had lego, a Vic20, there was a colour tv in the sitting rooom, etc. 20-30 years earlier my parents had none of that.

FWIW, my 10year old got a laptop for Xmas, and already had a DS. She also uses the family Wii. Pretty much the same as the rest of the kids in her class.

OP you are not treating your Daughter properly. She should also have two ponies.

I wonder how much typical kids toys cost now as a % of average wage earnt by parents compare to that 20-30 years ago. I never got a new BMX as a kid as the halfords spec ones were £100 (too much according to my parents) they are still about £100 now 20 odd years on, despite wages going up.

Hora Junior gets bikes and use of my computer and DVD.

THATS IT.

I dont even own/use Sky so he’ll have to amuse himself breaking into cars etc 😉

THATS IT.

Doesn’t even get to use apostrophes? 🙂

And I’ll think you’ll find it’s really easy resisting their demands when they’re under 3, then it gets harder. When every other kid at school also has a DSi (or whatever)…

So if he demands it I have to give it to him?! I don’t think parenting works that way (not in my books anyway).

This is quite an interesting thread, with a little girl who turns 4 in May her pester power is only going to increase. tbh if you can afford it and they deserve it I don’t see the problem. I was brought up to make sure I “minded my p’s and q’s” and the like and I have made a real effort to empart this onto her as I think politeness and general good behaviour is a must. I am pretty sure it is possible to have an appreciation for what you get whether it is a little or alot.

Pester power is driven by big company marketing and fuelled through the playground.

Dont **** give into it. Good parenting is about saying ‘no’ rather than bringing them up with the contents of your wallet.

Oh, just another point – I’m struggling to think when our daughter has actually asked/demanded/pestered for anything she’s got.

Everything I’ve mentioned was gleaned from weeks of enquiring about what she’d like before Birthdays & Christmases – she never knows what she’s getting and it’s always a surprise for her.

In fact when something such as an iPod is mentioned, we usually say we’ll have to see as they’re a bit pricey.

I don’t think she even made a Christmas list this year, so she’s certainly not a needy child in that respect.

Tho OP had his own TV 29 years ago! 😯

Pester power is driven by big company marketing and fuelled through the playground.
Dont **** give into it. Good parenting is about saying ‘no’ rather than bringing them up with the contents of your wallet.

The best post so far on this thread.

Try swapping her for someone elses kid for a month. Someone who has much less. It will be an interesting social experiment.

The best post so far on this thread.

And it came from Hora, no less! 😮

It seems for him at least, that with fatherhood, comes wisdom.

Either that or he’s a tight bugger…

Oh and the bloke whose 4yr old has a DS – get a **** grip!

Ah yes, that would be me. What exactly would you like me to get a grip of?

Assuming you didn’t miss the points that

1) it’s second hand
2) his sister gave it to him for Christmas
3) after she’d had to save most of the money herself for her new one

can you enlighten me as to what outrage I’ve missed, and I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. Thanks very much.

Try swapping her for someone elses kid for a month. Someone who has much less. It will be an interesting social experiment.

Or indeed the other way, with someone who has far more.

Saying all this all daughters should have two ponies and dressage lessons. Do your duty OP give her her ponies dammit!

On a less serious note…
I didn’t have much as a kid, lots of bikes, tonkas, 2000ad and bikes. Did I say bikes? 😀

I had a thick ear if I was lucky…

And I was grateful!

Saying all this all daughters should have two ponies and dressage lessons. Do your duty OP give her her ponies dammit!

On a less serious note…
I didn’t have much as a kid, lots of bikes, tonkas, 2000ad and bikes. Did I say bikes? 😀

She wants a pony, but seeing her mates parents trudging off morning and night to feed theirs – not a chance

Only just noticed the tags.

Well done, ill informed idiots.

I’m not particularly affluent and as someone posted earlier in the thread – none of it really costs that much does it.

Wow, we can afford an XBox – really makes us stand out from the other 5 million or so families that have one.

It’s only bragging if it’s worth bragging about.

Wunundred! 🙂

I’m 40 and don’t have any of the list TheArtist’s daughter does, apart from a rather better MTB (despite being able to afford them if I wanted). Am I deprived, or given my kids won’t have most of that either, are they?

none of it really costs that much does it.

Really? How much does that whole list cost if you add it all together? Almost nothing?

She wants a pony, but seeing her mates parents trudging off morning and night to feed theirs – not a chance

People who buy their children ponies are considered to be spoiling them. I totally disagree. Having an animal that size actually gives the child huge responsibility and makes the child work for their enjoyment. Its up to the parent to make/help the child: muck out, clean tack, groom and carry around buckets of food on dark mornings.

I’d much rather they had a pony, enjoying exercise in the fresh air than being stuck indoors with noisy, time wasting gagets that take away their much needed sleep and attention to lessons during school time.

Learning that the enjoynment of riding the pony comes at a cost is a good thing.
After all its only like us mtbers who have to come home and clean the bikes, fettle and look after our gear.

aracer – about a grand, mebbe a bit over and it’s not been bought all in one hit/year.

The whole family uses the Wii and the XBox, Sky is in the lounge and the bedroom anyway and in her games room (that the mrs also uses for her treadmill) via a magic eye.

So all the other clever sods that seem to want to add another tag, go ahead, but if you think owning a couple of games consoles and the odd tv is is materialistic, please have a word with yourselves.

Tight sods

😉

Tight sods

See, you were doing quite well, up until then…

So someone who won’t buy all that tat, because they have different values, is a ‘tight sod’?

To quote the great PeterPoddy – notice the smiley Elfin?

However, you now present me with another opportunity to go off on one…

So, the stuff I buy, or have bought that’s been mentioned in this thread is tat?

Where does the defining line between worthwhile goods and tat come into play eh?

Do you own a tv?

I’m sure you’ve admitted to having a games console?

Do you ride a bike, erm that’ll be yes?

Do you have an MP3 player, dunno?

Cast a line and sooner or later there’s some opinionated sod hanging off the end of it.

Can I just check this isn’t a troll? It’s the coming on here supposedly asking for opinions and then getting all narky when the opinions don’t agree with you which makes me a bit suspicious. Then again it may just be that TAFKAS was misguidedly expecting us all to agree that if anything he was being rather stingy.

Have discussed this with mrs aracer, and we agree that our almost 4 and 1.5 year old actually have an awful lot of stuff – but then everybody else’s middle class kids seem to have similar amounts if not more. We need to go and live in a yurt.

aracer – I didn’t ask for opinions regarding whether or not I was a good parent, or my child was a spoilt little brat, although knowing STW I should have expected no less.

The question (which some people seemed capable of answering in a civil manner) was in the title, not the post. Of course it’s the usual suspects who chime in though.

Not quite sure what the last sentence of your first paragraph is on about.

As for being middle class, well done – yer a class above me mate!

Do you own a tv?

Nope.

I’m sure you’ve admitted to having a games console?

Wrong.

Do you ride a bike, erm that’ll be yes?

I own five actually. 🙂

Do you have an MP3 player, dunno?

Yes, it was given to me as a present actually. I never use it.

Truth is mate, you kid could be perfectly happy without any of that stuff. I know plenty of kids that are. I never had any of that stuff while growing up, and neither did any of the adults on here. We’ve not done too badly I’d say.

You asked if kids today are overindulged, based on your observations of your own home. You’ve probably got a point. Many of them probably are, in relative terms.

So, if kids are ungrateful because they are overindulged, and don’t understand the value of things, what’s the answer? Keep indulging them, simply because you can, or start thinking about the effects such material consumption is having on their developing minds?

I didn’t ask for opinions regarding whether or not I was a good parent, or my child was a spoilt little brat

No?

Try bloody well explaining it to her to gain a bit of gratitude and you may as well speak to the frikkin wall.

Forgive me for being confuddled, but it does seem that you were having a bit of a rant about ‘kids today not appreciating things we had it hard blah blah blah’. That’s how it came across, anyway.

I’m with elf – that’s happening with disturbing frequency recently, I still want to know who’s kidnapped the real one and why he hasn’t annoyed his captors enough yet for them to release him.

😀

New Elfin;

New Danger…..

That was a comment at the end of the post. I asked a question in the title and never once asked for anyone’s opinion on my spending habits or whether or not my child has had a healthy upbringing.

I may have opened myself up for it, but to say I came on here asking peoples opinions on a matter which I didn’t is different, but don’t let that get in the way of a bit of mudslinging eh.

Mate, don’t be so defensive. It’s been a pretty good discussion mostly, imo. I don’t see you as a ‘bad parent’ or doing anything ‘wrong’, necessarily.

I had toys as a kid. None of them ‘essential’, but nice to have. I have always valued what I have. I’ve seen people with nothing, barely enough food to live on. I consider myself extremely fortunate in life. As for being ‘deprived’ because I din’t have a games console or the latest ‘must-have’ thingy, no way. I might have wanted stuff as a kid, and been a bit pissed off if I couldn’t have it, butI soon got over it. Hence they weren’t necessary to be happy.

Have to say that I don’t consider a bike a ‘non-essential’. Bikes are completely essential. 🙂

Where do you draw the line though at what is deemed essential/useful/nice to own/a bit of a treat/an occassional extravagance/total over-indulgence. Ask 100 people and you’ll probably get 50 different answers.

It’s easy to get wound up on here by the sanctamony, hypocrisy and general snippyness.

I’d wager that a good percentage of the people who ‘tagged’ this thread have 4 or 5 bikes, with maybe a total value of approaching £10k. A good percentage of these will probably crow about their bikes being worth more than their car.

It’s all relative mate.

Indulge your child and they will never respect you when they reach adulthood. A good upbringing is about doing things rather than owning piles of plastic (sadly often paid for by plastic).

BillMC – that’s the trouble with opinions on here. It has to be one or the other.

There’s no possible way your child can be brought up well if given material goods? Total rubbish.

Where do you draw the line though

It’s a very good question, and I think it’s down to the individual really.

A friend of mine has a ‘problem’ teenage daughter. Couple of years ago, she demanded an iPhone. At 12. He said no. Long story short, she played up and caused no end of grief, even being nasty to her two younger sisters.

She got the iPhone. Spoilt little cow. Then lost it two weeks later….

See, there you have a totally different scenario Elfin.

Can’t remember my daughter ever demanding anything, or causing much fuss if she didn’t get something she wanted.

She gets stuff when I choose she can have it, not when she decides she wants it.

On the other hand, Harry The Spider’s son seems to be quite the opposite…

😆

It’s easy to get wound up on here by the sanctamony, hypocrisy and general snippyness.

Well that’s where you went wrong. That’s exactly the sort of thing you should expect on here, and just let it wash over you (the troll comment was semi-serious, given that the responses to your OP were so predictable).

Happy to hold my hand up to a stupidly expensive bike stable, but as always will point out that I’ve spent less on my bikes over the 15 years I’ve taken to build that up than most normal people spend on owning boring ordinary cars in that timespan. In any case, those have been bought from money I’ve earned, and I’ve invariably spent months agonising over each expensive purchase – not something a child has gone through with things they’ve been bought for them, whether or not they’ve asked for them, hence not really getting the true value of stuff.