Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 45 total)
  • how do you break the news to your wife/significant other.
  • cloudnine
    Free Member

    That the money that was ear marked for a French door for the lounge will be very shortly turning up in a large bike box?
    I ‘won’ a competition last year when the new amp and speakers arrived.
    Do I just say nothing and await her reaction?

    xiphon
    Free Member

    Fake an invoice for work on the car. They never question those complicated 4 wheeled objects.

    Worked for me last time!

    meehaja
    Free Member

    Tell her all the time you spend on here is in fact “research” and you’ve found that french doors are a massie security risk, and practically inviting thieves into your house. Also, the government will soon return to calculating tax based on the number of windows you have, so its best not to get french windows. Also with the impending fuel crisis, increasing fuel costs and the importance of looking after your health considering soon there will be no NHS to look after you, a new bike will help you stay fit and save money.

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    br
    Free Member

    If you have to lie, you’re under the thumb 🙄

    Cougar
    Full Member

    “Oh, this old thing? I’ve had it years.”

    Seems to work for them with shoes and handbags.

    Stoner
    Free Member

    if you have to preach, you own a very tall horse… 🙄

    donsimon
    Free Member

    Tell her that the bike was 200 quid less than the doors and the 200 quid you’ve saved will go a long way to buying a new spine for yourself.

    wombat
    Full Member

    Tell her all the time you spend on here is in fact “research” and you’ve found that french doors are a massie security risk, and practically inviting thieves into your house. Also, the government will soon return to calculating tax based on the number of windows you have, so its best not to get french windows. Also with the impending fuel crisis, increasing fuel costs and the importance of looking after your health considering soon there will be no NHS to look after you, a new bike will help you stay fit and save money

    It’s also worth mentioning that French doors will be subject to a levy from our gallic cousins on the other side of the channel that will result in license fees of approximately 20 euros per month for the use of the word “French” so it’s actually a net saving

    fasthaggis
    Full Member

    Tell her ,that before trying a real relationship ,you really should have waited till you were more mature.
    Don’t worry ,she will find someone else at the youth club. 😆

    Harry_the_Spider
    Full Member

    You’re stuffed I’m afraid.

    ransos
    Free Member

    If either of us want to buy something that we will value a lot, then that’s fine if there’s money in the bank. It beats lying to each other…

    headfirst
    Free Member

    a French door for the lounge

    Tell her you decided against it – a French door would only work four days a week, take two hour lunch breaks everyday, sleep with your wife and then start throwing fish at you when you complained.

    wombat
    Full Member

    You’re stuffed I’m afraid.

    This +1

    DrRSwank
    Free Member

    Whose money was it?

    If it was all yours than I’d say be honest and tell her you’d rather spend it on a bike.

    If you jointly saved it your a selfish knob who will shortly be wishing he’d never been born.

    If it was all (or even mainly) hers – can I have your bike?

    rocketman
    Free Member

    You are the master of your household and what you spend your money on cannot be questioned.

    Failing this, try the safety angle i.e. your old bike was ‘dangerous’ in some way

    PeterPoddy
    Free Member

    If you jointly saved it your a selfish knob who will shortly be wishing he’d never been born.

    ^ This.

    Why would you do such a thing anyway? I don’t understand. Why lie?

    duckman
    Full Member

    It won’t be the new saddle causing erectile disfunction.

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    She won’t go too mad which is why I’ve already bought it. Was just looking for a good angle on why I needed it..

    s
    Free Member

    xiphon – Member

    Fake an invoice for work on the car. They never question those complicated 4 wheeled objects.

    Worked for me last time!

    LOL, I could see someone setting up a bike company called ‘Auto Parts’ doing quite well 😉

    emsz
    Free Member

    Just tell her you bought a bike*

    *let me know how you get on, we’ve been saving like crazy for ages, but there’s this boxset of Benefit concealers that I ‘have’ to have LOL, I want tips 😆

    ransos
    Free Member

    She won’t go too mad which is why I’ve already bought it.

    So why the dishonesty?

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender. Suppose I could have asked her about colours and if it would match the curtains.

    ransos
    Free Member

    Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender

    You don’t need one.

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Arrrrrrrgh… are you really Mrs cloudnine?

    ransos
    Free Member

    Arrrrrrrgh… are you really Mrs cloudnine?

    I don’t need all of my 5 bikes. But my Mrs knows that cycling is important to me, and trusts that I wouldn’t buy a new bike unless we had the spare cash for it. Which is why I wouldn’t lie to her about it.

    I_Ache
    Free Member

    ransos – Member
    Didnt think she would be that interested in why I needed a charge blender
    You don’t need one.

    That’s right. He already brought it so he doesn’t need another.

    Bregante
    Full Member

    I hope for your sake she doesn’t utter the immortal words

    “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed”

    TexWade
    Free Member

    I just say its on a bike to work scheme – if she notices.

    flange
    Free Member

    I don’t need all of my 5 bikes. But my Mrs knows that cycling is important to me, and trusts that I wouldn’t buy a new bike unless we had the spare cash for it. Which is why I wouldn’t lie to her about it.

    Well done you. Back in the real world, is it the same colour as your last one? If not, that was your first mistake…..

    xiphon
    Free Member

    Actually I tell a little white lie. Last time I got a new bike (or best part of…), she demanded one too. Now she has 2 bikes, and I 3…

    rkk01
    Free Member

    11 year old son is already showing excellent male tendencies in this respect…

    Me – Great news son, I have permission to get that new guitar!

    Son – Cool which one are you going to get? (we had both looked at two in the shop)

    Me – Not sure – I really like the black one with the maple neck, but the three colour sunburst is lush

    Son – get both then

    Me – 😯 You know your mother – that would mean big trouble~!!!

    Son – Nahhh – tell her they were on B.O.G.O.F

    fatsimonmk2
    Free Member

    Nahhh – tell her they were on B.O.G.O.F – lol 😀

    woffle
    Free Member

    I hope for your sake she doesn’t utter the immortal words

    “I’m not angry, I’m just disappointed”

    It’s when she says “it’s fine” in ‘that’ voice you’ll know that whilst it may look like you’ve gotten away with it now, at any given point in the future it’s going to be dragged out of the grieveances database and will cost you the price of a Charge Blender x 2 in money / sweat / tears (delete as appropriate)

    Good luck

    boxfish
    Free Member

    grieveances database

    Arf.

    SELECT gripe FROM History WHERE date = 2_years_ago

    damo2576
    Free Member

    My wife didn’t like my Green bike and actaully told me to get a Black one. Gladly obliged.

    takisawa2
    Full Member

    Sometimes, just sometimes, its easier to fib. It is. It’s the kindest thing to do. You wouldn’t want the poor lass getting all het up.

    woffle
    Free Member

    SELECT gripe FROM History WHERE date = 2_years_ago

    Select * from history where 1=1;

    Fixed it for you…

    cloudnine
    Free Member

    Got totally busted.
    Went out with the kids.. came back and neighbours had taken delivery of my bike. They stick their head out the window as we arrived back and shouted that my new bike had arrived. For a minute my Mrs got all excited thinking id bought her a bike..
    10 seconds silence..
    Then.. ‘I think you should buy me a bike too…’

    rp16v
    Free Member

    at least she dident mention the doors….

    colournoise
    Full Member

    As long as there’s a bit left in the door kitty to get her a cheap but shiny bike then it’s all gravy.

    If not…

    slainte 😯 rob

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