Nooooo. not women....I've got that down to fine art!! 
How do I turn off the annoying bleeping in my new Citroen Berlingo van that tells me I haven't got my seat belt on?
It's damned annoying when driving in the yard and on private roads!
Do I need to find a wire? or take a fuse out? Heeeeeelp it's driving me mad.
Put your seat-belt on?
connect the seatbelt up and sit on it?
or put the passenger seatbelt in the clip?
I believe the accepted trick is just to plug the belt into the clip and sit on it.
yes but then I have the seat belt behind me and it's a pain to get it to put it on for the road.
I was looking for a more permanent and less Heath Robinson solution.
I totally disagree with this for use on the open road but a friend had his BMW dealer give him the seatbelt clip (obviously without the seatbelt attached), which he just leaves plugged in... visit you local scrappy...
yes but then I have the seat belt behind me and it's a pain to get it to put it on for the road.
Well that tells me you're not stopping before you get to the road, so why not just put the belt on as soon as you get in?
On my Civic it's as simple as disconnecting the wire that goes to the seatbelt and carries the signal - may vary with other makes though.
It's a very silly EuroNCAP requirement - I always put keys in, switch the engine on, then seatbelt on, then drive off. But now they expect you to get in, pass keys to left hand, reach for belt with right hand, pass keys back to right hand, switch engine on, drive off. If you don't, BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. The ridiculous thing being if you do drive off with no seatbelt on, it shuts up and just displays a little reminder light on the dash instead. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
find the beeper and unplug it.simple
I don't understand what the problem is with just wearing a seatbelt? Presumably you could still crash in the yard or on a private road?
youll find the wire under the seat. There will be a connector block in there.
I knew this would happen, GRRRR....................
I AM wearing the seat belt on the road.It's just that when you're moving the van round the yard to move side doors etc to loading doors it beeeps and it's soooo annoying!
Putting it on, on the private road, takes longer than the journey but the beeping is sooooo shrilll it grates on my nerves.
All I ask is that someone tell me which wire to cut to stop it.
Come on this is Singletrackworld! Font of all knowledge. (I also forgot that it's home to a vast majority of pedants and superior beings!) 
There is a way of turning it off (certainly was for the 00-02 Berlingo. I hate to say google it.
I remember getting in my first car that had this & couldn't for the life of me figure out why the bloody thing was beeping - I had my belt on
10 mins later I realised that the bag I'd put on the passenger seat was activating some weight sensor so the car thought there was an unbelted passenger 
Don't get me started on the beeping if you leave the keys in the ignition 
On my Civic it's as simple as disconnecting the wire that goes to the seatbelt and carries the signal - may vary with other makes though
until you have a crash when the lack of seatbelt presence stops your airbags deploying properly or the pre-tensioners going off
How long does it take to put a seat belt on? I put mine on as I turn the key to start the engine....
Edit: Damn, double post
until you have a crash when the lack of seatbelt presence stops your airbags deploying properly or the pre-tensioners going off
Nope. The circuit on the Civic (and I imagine many other makes) is open when the belt is in place. Disconnect the plug and it's open all the time so it thinks the belt is there even if it's not. It's designed that way in case the connector/circuit fails (anyone who's owned a 90s Peugeot or Citroen knows how dodgy the wiring under seats can be with all the moving back and forth) it won't stop anything safety-wise working.
In my case, as well as habit of starting before putting on seatbelt, the carpark to my flat has a locked gate. I open the gate, drive about 20ft at less than walking pace, get out, lock gate, back in, belt on, drive off. I just prefer doing that without the BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.
You will probably find cutting the wires will not stop the beeping, will 100% turn the airbag light on (which will disable the airbag) and at worst set airbag off.
Best bet is too get dummy buckle from breakers to keep cheap, or the proper way is to go into airbag configuration using Citroen diagnostics and modify the configuration of the unit to say it isnt there.
Alex
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