I’ve been reading some stuff on the bike forum and some people really seem to know there onions about biking stuff.

They can tell you exactly what forks, tyres, frame size etc you should have based on what they like. They can say it with real conviction too… like the OP has never had any experience of riding themselves.

Now I’m used to the chat forum where everyone talks rubbish about everything but some of the ‘advice’ over there is simply amazing.

what FS bike should i buy yeti?

(you’ll always be my forum expert sweetcheeks)

If you really want to work on your skilz I’d aim to be a “Big Hitter” rather than a “Forum Expert” 😉

Ah, this one is easy. Whenever anyone asks for kit recommendations just tell them to buy whatever it is you own. Or just answer “orange 5” to all questions.

There’s a bike forum.!!!?

I know how he feels.

The first step is to have a capital letter only at the beginning of the first word of your thread title.

Do you really want to look like this????

You simply state your opinion as fact. It’s easy.

Orange Fives are filing cabinets, On Ones are gas pipe, Thomson seat posts make girls pregnant from 40 paces and the Charge Spoon is the only saddle ever made.

See.

love that pic oldgit!

policemen were taller back in them days!

I am serious, I have been on the Bike Forum.

How many weeks of the iDiet does it take to look like that.

Is that what everyone does overthere then, state opinion as FACT. Don’t people realise that others might go out and spend there cash based on these opinons. Half of it seems regurgitated from a biased magazine article, or just an attempt to justify their own poor purchasing skills.

regurgitated from a biased magazine article, or just an attempt to justify their own poor purchasing skills

There you go, answering your own question.

Don’t people realise that others might go out and spend there cash based on these opinons

That’s what makes it fun 😀

The Southern Yeti – Member
Is that what everyone does overthere then, state opinion as FACT. Don’t people realise that others might go out and spend there cash based on these opinons. Half of it seems regurgitated from a biased magazine article, or just an attempt to justify their own poor purchasing skills.

You see why some of us get so angry and need to BATTLE?

Half of it seems regurgitated from a biased magazine article

It is. Nobody (except Ton) can buy and experience everything ever made to be able to compare fairly, so they either just say what the magazines say, or claim that their bike am best than any other. Which is quiet fair if you think about it, as the one they own has provided them with infinity percent more fun than all the ones they’ve never ridden.

So it’s an educated opinion. Sort of.

Anyway, it’s a Five AM with a Bullet swingarm you want, with Talas U Turns up front, Maxle headtube and Thomson hubs. In case you were asking.

policemen were taller back in them days!

No, they were just closer.

TSY isn’t a forum expert 😯

You need to be aware of a few things if you want to be an Expert:

1: Know your tyres. At least five different sets of tyres for the wildly different conditions present in the UK. Using the wrong tyres can be fatal.

2: Lube. You must know about lube. GT85 is not lube, WD40 is not lube. There are specific lubes for specific weather conditions, heaven help you if you use the wrong lube. It doesn’t matter that your chain will get covered in crap within 5 minutes; you must use the right lube.

3a: However much travel you have on your bike is the most travel anyone could ever need, even if it is a hardtail / rigid.

3b: Laugh in the face of physics. There’s no way anyone could want or need more than 160/160 brakes. Steve Peat rides 140/140, conversation over.

4: The wise and prudent man fashions a mudguard for his £3000 bike out of an old coke bottle or innertube.

5: You are only allowed to have a strong opinion about Orange bikes if you’ve never owned one.

6: Learn and understand these terms: Power Ranger (anyone who wears more armour than you) , Skills Compensator (any bike with more suspension or generally better components than your bike), Ego Chariot (owned exclusively by middle aged IT consultants to show how much money they have)

7: Make sure you overtake other riders at all costs, then come to the forum and boast about how you “dropped a Power Ranger on a Skills Compensator” (see above). Do this even though they probably didn’t know they were racing you; a win is a win, and you are a winner.

8: Brake jack totally exists and you totally understand it; everyone needs next year’s 20-link VPP DW exo-link multi-point super pivot technology. It really makes a difference when you’re bumbling along the canal or trail, really it really does, honestly.

9: Never forget that biking is a very serious business.

10: At least it’s not BikeRadar though

well said RJ! 😆

[Cougar likes this.]

10: At least it’s not BikeRadar though

😀

You just recommend the stuff that you really really want, the more expensive the better, with complete disregard for what their actual needs are! With any luck, they’ll buy it and instantly hate it, then place it straight on to the classifieds, where you lie in wait to snaffle a bargain!

It’s just an online version of what I’ve been doing to hora darn the pub for years 😀

Ctrl C, Ctrl V

What’s Bike Radar?

Sadly Darc I am not, nor am I a Big Hitter, or a Moderator. But we all need dreams.

You simply state your opinion as fact. It’s easy.

You also need to add a certain indisputable word to the end of the post. FACT.

If you’re really, really going out on a limb… I believe you put..

End of thread.

TSY. I thought you were the forum Philandering expert. Why worry about ” what tires for xxx” when there are ladies to chase 🙂

why not combine your love of philandery and bicycles?

You could argue that it is less harmful than the life advice given in this forum by a bunch of people with limited professional or financial success, so few real friends that they spend their spare time here and so ugly and charmless that they have never had any relationship dilemmas. 😉

uphillcursing – Member

TSY. I thought you were the forum Philandering expert. Why worry about ” what tires for xxx” when there are ladies to chase

i (honestly) thought TSY was one of them….. ladies, that is. not a Philandering expert.

Is that what everyone does overthere then, state opinion as FACT. Don’t people realise that others might go out and spend there cash based on these opinons. Half of it seems regurgitated from a biased magazine article, or just an attempt to justify their own poor purchasing skills.

Forget it. You’re just not cut out for it.

muppetWrangler – I you saying that a lady can’t be an expert? 😕

There are no experts. Only wannabes. Fact.

Post dismissive comment on the following:
length of grass,
how much the fence needs painting,
tyre logo/valve/crank alignment,
number of spacers,
cable/hose length,
colour combinations
etc, etc, etc

FACT

HOW do I become a Forum Expert?

YOU really don’t have any ambitions, do you? I suppose if you aim low enough there is less chance of failing…

“If you really want to work on your skilz I’d aim to be a “Big Hitter” rather than a “Forum Expert”

I just read that as “Big Hitler”. What a beautiful (if ever so slightly right wing) thought… 😯

When you were 15 did you hang around with 10 year olds because they were the only people you could impress? Yes, excellent you too can be a forum expert.