Seriously how does something so sweet and innocent, that weighs less than 3 stone, create a poo so monstrous that 4 flushes won’t budge it and the smell is so bad we’ve had to open all the windows?

Any advice?

More fibre?

Wire coat hanger or welding rod – the choice is yours.

Going off the size and pungency of some of the logs our 3yo has excreted recently I’d just say it’s par for the course.

How can a 3 year old block a toilet?

Quite easily if you try to flush it in one piece? 😈

I hate kids me,

As a small child, I cleared an entire trade stand’s worth of customers who were sheltering from a downpour with one well placed fart. Still gets mentioned nigh on 50 yrs later.

My mates kid did the same thing. He had to get a small plastic spade and chop the log into three.

Logging on top of loo roll is a habit of our kids which causes blockages….

Wait until they turn 10. First glance made me think he had dropped a pair of sea otters in there, not a couple of James III’s……. 😯

My two year old did it this weekend. It was the size of his thigh!

Chortling at

a pair of sea otters

😀

Atleast its not a broken arrow situation.

And at least ours are old enough now to not have any floating sea mines left in the bath.

Yeah, ours used to do this. Anal retentive little bugger. I honestly thought at one point (after 7 days of holding it in) that we were going to have an Elvis situation given the amount of effort required to budge it.

Ultimately, we found that small amounts of raisins and/or dates (cut to resemble raisins) which he liked to eat, helped to make it easier for him to go.

We also gave him a white chocolate mouse if he went and did it all by himself.

Not surprised at all. At that age both of mine were capable of shitting something with the size and flushability of a Wellington Boot.

My eldest (6) laid a turd so spectacularly large on Christmas Day that I spent an hour unblocking our toilet rather than opening presents and having general festive fun. Could have done with out it to be honest.

This is not an unusual occurrence. They take great pleasure in producing unflushables the size of a marrow at their grandparents place.

It ain’t just little kids either. My two went to stay with their Nanna who had a friend staying over, a septuagenarian, sweet little old lady, dead posh type, all twinsets and pearls and a cut glass accent. My lad tells me that he followed her into the bathroom to be met by a khaki anaconda-sized Richard, half down the U bend and half nudging at the underside of the lid. Several flushes failed to shift it, and by this time he was gagging so had to abandon the mission and head for the downstairs toilet instead. I asked why he didn’t use the brush to break it up, but apparently he was worried in case it started fighting back.

khaki anaconda

Very, very good.

I blame them modern, water efficient toilets. In our house, we have one ordinary and one big-job bog. That’s going to be replaced soon, so I may have to purchase a new pipe bending spring, (weapon of choice for sinking a brown battleship)

our toilet has an exit chute the size of Bilbo Baggins’ letter box. My record is 7 days in a row pulling on the rubber glove.

yes the turd the size of the child leg is certainly a sight to behold.
its similar to us doing something the size of a draft excluder….I fail to see how its even possible.

Willy waving about your child’s achievements taken to a new level! 😆
Fantastic.

I hope some of you exclaimed “Jesus Christ, you’ve sunk The Bismarck” on seeing these mammoth specimens??

🙂

apparently he was worried in case it started fighting back.

Made me chuckle

Sometimes I definitely recognize the similarities between the human colon and one of those cans of expanding foam sealant…

I blame them modern, water efficient toilets.

I’ve now banned my teenage son from using the upstairs modern loo in favour of the downstairs old fashioned loo whenever he’s been eating vegetarian food.

Proper LOLing here….

Feed them a packet of sugar free gummy bears and stand well back/send them to someone else’s house…

Is that true about the gummy bears? I want to know before I get a kilo of them to give my mates on the next riding trip!

It was certainly true of the sugerfree fisherman’s friends I consumed on a long a empty road somewhere in Aus. Oh man, even thinking about it makes me sweat.

This is the last scatological thread I am contributing to for the foreseeable!

look for Sorbitol on the label, feed someone lots and stand well back 🙂

How can a 3 year old block a toilet?

Ooh I know this one, by lobbing one of your wife’s chunky scented candles down the bog first

Wire coat hanger or welding rod – the choice is yours.

this

chunky scented candles down the bog

Best place for ’em.

Poo Pourri

This stuff actually exists…..

As you flush, simultaneously plunge a pint of water or more into the pan at the same time.

Always works.

No welding rods, toy spades or dynamite required :-).

Yep my 4 year old goes on alternate days and often leaves something with it’s head out of the water. I gave him some competition last week as the pain killers I took stopped my regularity – a rock hard 3 day stool was quite a shock when it came.

a rock hard 3 day stool was quite a shock when it came.

Sure you didn’t give birth… 😉

As you flush, simultaneously plunge a pint of water or more into the pan at the same time.

Always works.

Not if the little cherub has introduced the cab unit of his duplo railway engine to the u-bend first. That was a disassembly of the soil pipe job.

As you flush, simultaneously plunge a pint of water or more into the pan at the same time.
Always works.

Now you are clearly misreprenting The Peaks for the Highlands.

Our eldest has, from a very early age, managed to ‘lay cable’ (as my wife so delicately puts it) of epic proportions. My father-in-law refused to believe that the thing she left in their toilet at the age of 4 could come from something so small. He had to get a cane from the garden to beat it into submission before it’d flush.

The same joy awaits me when I get home from work tonight. Just had a txt from my wife that she came downstairs to hysterical sisters; the eldest has managed to block the downstairs toilet and it’s resisting flush / bowl of water trick etc. Much to her younger sisters disgust / amusement. The eldest proudly informed my wife that there’s only one set of Aunt + Uncle out of the family to go then she’s got the full family set – will have then completed her trail of toilet destruction.