Well myself and Slowoldgit of this parish want to enter on a tandem – however on perusing the rules we see this:-

Any sort of bike as long as it has two wheels and one rider.

Now thats just not on. I think we have a case under the disability discrimination act. After all I need somone else on the bike to act as the brains of the enterprise. Its not my fault this is so. So this is pure discrimination. Who do I complain to?

Competitors must exercise sound, mature judgment being responsible

and thats not much better. I mean really . Discrimination aginst those who do not have sound mature judgement. Pffttppptp!

Competitors must be adequately clothed at all times. No naked or topless riding.

What!!!!!!!!! No fair!!!!!!!

Helmets must be fastened before the competitor’s cycle is moved onto the course from the corral and must remain fastened until the cycle is returned to the corral.

ha ha – but it doesn’t say what they must be fastened to 🙂 – a tree? Ones elbow?

so – I think these people with their disgraceful discriminatory behaviour should be hounded within an inch of something. Lets start a campaign!

Index

Does a string vest count as ‘adequately clothed’?

Helmets must be fastened before setting off.

Indeed jon – but it doesn’t say they have to be on your head 😈

Its definitely Tandemist!

Competitors must exercise sound, mature judgment being responsible

That, quite frankly, would ensure no entries. WTF would anyone exercising sound, mature judgment be doing in a muddy field in Prestwich in February!

You don’t think they’re trying t pull a Catch 22 style fast one here, do you?

The following offences will cause automatic disqualification from the event.
a. Threatening, abusive or insulting words or conduct

Not allowed to heckle or abuse Hora? Ah come on it’s the only reason I’m coming all that way in bloody winter! Please don’t spoil my fun! 🙁

c. Dangerous conduct/riding/quote]

What, no deliberately pushing someone in the bush (© French Juan 2009)?

e. Failing to obey marshals or the police

Ain’t no Babylon gon tell me what to do. Cha…

f. Nudity (Without prior permission)

This I approve of wholheartedly. Many HtNers bodies willunt have seen the sun in months, and be proper ‘orrible all pasty and flabby and blotchy. 😡

g. Outside assistance on the course

Can’t have someone else push my bike up the steep bits then?

h. Tampering with the equipment of others

Ah come on! Why ever not? Some of ’em may even enjoy it!!!

i. Unsporting impedance

So, no Alonso V Schumacher Imola 2005 stylee then? I’m not having bloody Binners pass me, even if me bike’s borked…

We’ve relaxed the rules on tandems after receiving some frankly quite bizarre emails from up near the North Pole. Probably best just to let him and his contraption in rather than have to rake out my inbox on a daily basis.

The rule on unicycles still stands. Can’t be doing with them, their silly woolly hats or their spontaneous acts of juggling.

All seems a bit dodgy to me

Please stop emailing me.

Please.

Those are the rules? Why was I told they were here?

http://www.m-bike.org/blog/2011/11/29/1895-donts-for-women-riders/

While I’m on… If anyone wants a FREE high chair I’m your man! You don’t have to race and win it, you can just have it.

FREE

No unicycles. Worth making the point again.

Is anyone actually going to ‘race’ or is it just turning into another attention seeking ‘lookatmeImsowacky’ fest in the name of ‘fun’?

Some people are going to race. The front of the field is very strong this year and, if Facebook is to be believed, it is going to get stronger.

Proper fast guys. 3 peaks winners and top 10 finishers, previous HTN winners, some top CX boys, two of the most prolific 24 hour endurance racers of recent years with numerous MM, SITS, Strathpuffer podiums between them and the unknown quantity that is “Louis Canoe”.

We’ve also got some big “club” squads and works teams turning up for a crack at the Team prize.

The stampede away from the line won’t be for the faint hearted.

Then of course you add those who are doing it for a laugh into the mix and it turns into It’s A Knockout. No unicycles though.

Oh dear. We really might be a mobile chicane

**We really might be a mobile chicane**

I’m relying on you to provide the majority of the effort. Maybe they’d let us start the previous day or something.

So looking forward to this.

“Elite rider coming through”

“Tandem pair stopped for a coughing break”

I’m well gutted. I’ve even asked the wife not to drop le sprog until March, but apparently ‘that’s just not possible’

Hrrrruuummmmpppph.

Just for the craic, could we bracket two unicycles together? Not that I have one.

No unicycles.

DIY unicycle
https://picasaweb.google.com/115867557921985666080/HITTHENORTHMANCHESTER#5572896410595338514

Having a saddle is an option

https://picasaweb.google.com/115867557921985666080/HITTHENORTHMANCHESTER#5572896577744997170

The images box doesnt work oop top, so you need to click the linkys

I’m well gutted. I’ve even asked the wife not to drop le sprog until March, but apparently ‘that’s just not possible’

Ah what; that’s a bit inconsiderate of her, in’t it? 🙁

One should have blocked ones cock for a few weeks longer (dude)

Well myself and Slowoldgit of this parish want to enter on a tandem – however on perusing the rules we see this:-

Any sort of bike as long as it has two wheels and one rider.
Now thats just not on. I think we have a case under the disability discrimination act. After all I need somone else on the bike to act as the brains of the enterprise. Its not my fault this is so. So this is pure discrimination. Who do I complain to?

I only see one rider here and he cold ride your tandem!
No mention of horses in the rules either.

I’d love to streak. Binners, game for it? I am.

Mmmmmmmm Ideas ideas – panto horse on a tandem?

No.

Neigh

Leave it.

I’m not dressing as a horse’s arse, thanks.

I get the impression that you are not showing the toughest MTB/CX race in the country the respect it deserves.

Take it too lightly and you will puke yourself inside out after 4 laps.

Is it really just a 2 hour race? I don’t say that lightly, just means I will probably be able to enter and get back home later for baby sitting duties

I’m not listed in the start list, which I suppose means that the rules won’t apply to me?

Is it really just a 2 hour race? I don’t say that lightly, just means I will probably be able to enter and get back home later for baby sitting duties

Race time 10:00 – 12:00

You need to be on site at about 9:00 to park up and register. Car park gets busy or you may choose to use the rugby club at the park gates (small charge, but you can use their showers).

Allow half an hour afterwards to finish your last lap unless you lurk in the woods and finish at 1 second past 12.

Factor in some time to get off the car park. First in, last out.

I’d estimate being on site 9:00 – 13:00.

Cool, fat bikes and fat blokes allowed?

What, no deliberately pushing someone in the bush (© French Juan 2009)?

Hey that wasn’t me. At all I was in France and I can **** prove it. For once I am innocent…

Tandems…oh dear no. They’ll be fun on the steps…and the steps with the 90 degree bends in…and the narrow kinked chute.

I will ride over you.

Mantastic – Member

Cool, fat bikes and fat blokes allowed?

There is even a fat bike category.

Tandems…oh dear no. They’ll be fun on the steps…and the steps with the 90 degree bends in…and the narrow kinked chute.

Don’t forget the rock garden stream crossing.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

this may have not been my best idea ever. You are putting me off now. Nowt on the vid looked that hard