Nicked off Bob Mortimers Twitter…

My wife said I could never get past my Phil Collins obsession, but take a look at me now!

I thought my girlfriend understood my obsession with the Monkees, but then I saw her face…

I just tried a cookie recipe that Bonnie Tyler gave me. They’re alright but every now and then they fall apart.

Went in my garden and thought I heard my onions singing Bee Gees hits, but it was just the chives talking.

I was in a hostage situation at a wedding with Bonnie Tyler. Shooter made us all look away. Said, “Turn around, bride dies”

😐