Seen quite a few threads now where people who have had there bikes nicked saying they would love to see them dying a slow death/tortured/horribly mutilated.
So has anyone actually caught a thieving little piece of chav scum in the act of having your bike away? I'd love to hear some retribution stories to make me feel better about bike thieves getting away with it most of the time ! 
Bike Forum
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Have you ever caught someone trying to nick your bike?
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Yep, bunch of Polish teenagers middle of the day, took out the bolt croppers right in front of several people and started work on my dlock. I walk up luckily with a few mates and moved em on.
They are well known gang still at work in the area, real benefit to community.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not a bike but,
Came home one day (student place in Reading, basement kitchen) Went downstairs into the kitchen. Someone in the pit outside the window trying to unhook the top bit with a coat hanger. Looked at each other for a few seconds. He turned and ran up the steps, had a bike leaning against the railings (assumed it was neighbours when I arrived home) I though I can catch him, fat chav on bike and me being a racer. Ran upstairs and grabbed mine, bit of a faff extracting it from the hallway, set off after him up the road, but too late to see which way he had gone at the T-junction. Guessed, but must have guessed wrong. Gave up after a while and returned home.
Then thought, what would I have done if I'd caught him? Didn't think at the time, instinct was just to chase him.Also, up on the campus once saw two guys attacking a bike lock (not mine) with a hacksaw, loads of people just walking passed. I went to have a word with them. Let them carry on when they showed me the lock with half a key in it and the other half of the key separate. Amazed me no-one else had been to see what they were doing. It was leggit, but looked very suspicous.
Posted 1 year ago # -
When I was a wee 14 year old a pair of lads came up and asked if they could have a go on my bike, that's the kind of thing we did so I said yes. Then they rode it for a bit and rode off down the road with it. I nabbed my mate's bike and went after them but lost them. I was a bit distraught and went to a nearby surgery to ring my dad. Came out after having rung him and a kid asked me if the bike that just went flying past was mine. Turns out he knew exactly where the would-be bonnie and clyde's lived. Turned up at their house 10 minutes later seeing them filing off the serial number. The look on their faces were fantastic. Some impolite/ treatening words were said and I went home with my bike.
Also a bit later when I was in the biking crew (terrorising pensioners around town on trials bikes) a guy ran over and pushed a friend off his new bike and nicked it. Only thing was he was on a 26" trials bike and ther were a few of us on geared mtbs so we just chased him till his legs blew up and he ditched the bike and ran off. He went into a house and came out with 5 or 6 mates but luckily the police were here by now so he went down the station and we all gave statements about witnessing the assualt theft. Of course he was never prosecuted for some unknown reason.....
Posted 1 year ago # -
Yeah. I can't be bothred to tell the whole story, so here is a c&p from another site when I posted the story on the day (December just gone):
Sitting at my desk today, doing month end reports and pretty bored. My desk is on the ground floor and directly opposite the bike shed. At around 2.30 spotted two dodgy looking fellas ride up.
One is riding a granified Ridgeback and the other is riding an expensive looking hybrid type bike. From now on I shall refer to them as:1) Ridgeback rider = large, unkempt dozy looking fella with a bald head
2) Hybrid rider = smaller, weazely fella dressed head to toe in Stone Island.
Ridgeback rider D locks his bike in the shed while hybrid rider looks like he locks his bike next to mine. They stand and chat for a minute or two before ridgeback rider moves the hybrid out while hybrid rider fiddles with something. Quite obviously he's cutting my chain.
I ran out, and didn't want to shout anything as I wanted to catch the f**ker, I see he's cut the chain and moved the nike out of the shed. Ridgeback rider has now gone.
My workmate had run out behind me and immediately shouted "Oy" as loudly as he could, which in a moment of comedy startled hybrid rider so much so that he went straight over the bars.
I refrained from booting him straight in the face (as I was sorely tempted to do), picked him up at which point he exclaimed "You got me" before starting to wrestle his way out of my grip. I got him by the collar and shoved him into the bike shed, over the bikes with my fist pulled back - again struggling to hold myself back from beating the shit out of him. He stopped struggling at this point.
Started leading him back towards the building. My dozy workmate goes over to my bike so I turned round to tell him to leave the bike and help me, at which point the would be master criminal gets out of my grip and legs it out of the car park and across the road. I'm chasing him in smart shoes and trousers, but luckily one of the technicians in jeans and trainers had come out (also a very angry bike rider) and he also gave chase. We chased him up the road and round the corner when a BMW pulled alongside and asked us if we were chasing him. We said yes, and he floored it, drove up on the pavement and pulled across in front of him. Hybrid rider went straight over the bonnet.
We dragged him back to work (during which time he told me if I didn't let go of his shoulder he was going to knock me out, which was laughable), and he sat outside smoking during the 45 minute wait for the police. During which time he told me the following:
"The brakes and forks on my bike weren't very good and would have only gone in the bin" (Juicy 5s and Rebas)
"The frame was six years old because he knew they changed the frame soon after that" (Merlin Malt 1)
I asked him at this point, what he was stealing the bike for then if he didn't want the frame, brakes or forks. He looked a little stumped.
"He was a better rider than me"
I asked him how he perfected the trick of throwing himself over the bars in a flat car park.
"He would give me a £50 lock if I let him go. It was nearby and he had a key. But there was no way he would tell me where it was unless I let him go."
I asked if it was the Kryptonite lock I watched him lock the Ridgeback up with that was sitting in the bike shed. He looked a little gutted.I have to make a statement at 7pm. I'm waiting to be arrested for asssault. ::)
Oh and the police apologised for being late but it was the time that they swap shifts. Murderers and rapists should fill their boots in Kingston at 3pm then.
I didn't get arrested in the end, both the thief and the police (who saw the CCTV said I used reasonable restraint.
He got 80 hrs community service, £60 costs and had to pay me the grand sum of £20 compensation (which I am yet to see).
Oh, and it turned out that he bent the drop out on the bike, **** up the chainline which was why he went over the bars.
Posted 1 year ago # -
pah, thats justice!!!! NOT! SERIOUSLY WTF.
we had a subaru 22b in for alot of work, wehad a secure yard with a mental gate and fence that was easy 15ft high all secured with cameras.
we came into work one morning and to find a completly bare 22b shell in the yard!no ideas how it happened.
2 days previously a guy came in asking for some parts for a 22b asking for details and prices.
anyhow we only knew it was him because he had the same clothes on and saw his face as he scalled the drain pipe to cut the power feed to the cameras not before looking straight into the camera...(cock)
we watched on camera him throwing the parts from the car over the fence of which he had a ladder on the other side
the police raided his house to find a complete 22b car minus the shell.
this all happened in a time frame of 3 hrs.
he is fast and good because thats all done in the dark lol...
he got no jail time and only 50hrs comunity service and had to return all the parts. The whole car needing respraying as he scratched rear quaters and other parts and needs front arches which are like gold dust.
anyone else watch the program last night Scams, Claims and Compensation Games??
it annoyed me watching it so much, they peasents that cant earn a good days money without ripping the people off.
the boy who stubed his toe and broke it on a drain at school... his mum said he lost his social circle for 4 weeks and couldnt play football. were not doing it for the money but we want at least 2 grand.
a, he was 11 and has no fooking social circle that will be damaged
b, hes a rat and not playing football for 4 weeks is hardly a big problem in the grand scheme.
c, he said smugly, im going to buy a car with the money!behave hes 13 now and he is taking part in blatent fraud all because a drain was 2cm high!!!
i seriously cant believe!
then you had that poxy iti on there saying a branch hit her so shes sueing the council! are you kidding?!
hardly done much damage love because your up and about walking and working!
our country is becoming more and more like america as time goes on, people trying to get something for free the whole time!
Posted 1 year ago # -
I'd been xmas shopping on Queens rd, locking my bike at top of Park St, Bristol. Came back to find a thief had cut through my lock but was still there, packing his tools away. Crept up behind him and whacked him over the head as hard as i could with a big roll of wrapping paper. He staggered away looking confused, then stood fifty yards away shouting abuse! A close shave for my bike, 10 more seconds and he'd have been away. Have got better locks these days, and never lock a posh bike anywhere for any length of time.
Posted 1 year ago # -
A big roll of wrapping paper
lol
Posted 1 year ago # -
A customer of our's was alerted to somebody breaking into the back of his house(where he keeps his bike), so went around and asked what he was doing. He was told "i'm breaking in, f*ck off!".Unfortunately for the scum, this inoccuous and mild mannered looking chap is actually a martial arts instructor who gave him one punch and broke his jaw.I'd have given him a medal, the judge gave him a £50 fine and bound him to keep the peace for 6mths.(somebody in the next court got 3mths inside for letting his staffy into the living room with a burglar, and then closing the door).Justice eh?
Posted 1 year ago # -
£50 to break a bike thief's jaw? Sounds good value to me, can I have a go please?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Down in London a few years ago: A mate and I got tipped off by a local bike shop that there was a gang of kids riding (or attempting to ride) some track bikes that they'd obviously nicked from the storage sheds at Herne Hill velodrome. So we jumped into his car and using a bit of educated guessing worked out where they'd be and sure enough they were riding (wobbling) out of the park on these fixed geared brakeless bikes as we drove up.
We pulled up in front of them, jumped out and just grabbed the bikes from underneath them. I was amazed - I'm the sort of person who runs a mile at the first hint of any trouble but we just piled in, snatched the bikes from under them, threw them in the back of the estate.
One of the guys was coming over all mouthy "I bought that off a mate, I'll do you, you can't prove nothing..." We chased one of the others and he fell off trying to negotiate a turn, they just spilt up and legged it. The mouthy guy was still there giving it all the hard man thing and we both just stood him down, in the end he said "I'm gonna get my Dad onto you" and ran off.
Got all but one of the bikes back!
Posted 1 year ago # -
Someone broke into our flat in manchester and stole my girlfriend's bike.
Later that day I went into town and saw it locked to a bench in the centre so I spent about 4 hours sat there with a pair of flails in my coat waiting for them to come back so I could a. get the bike back and b. kill them. (I had a number of mental issues relating to justice and revenge that I only recognise now).Luckily for all involved my girlfriend eventually found me and talked me out of the idea. The bike was gone next time we looked.
Posted 1 year ago # -
A man was buying a bike for his kid at my shop. He got a call on the mobile, picked it up, had a chat which ended with "Keep the c**t there till I'm back. Won't be long."
What happened? He sells CCTV and security stuff from a done-up barn at his property. His bikes are there in the cellar. A git broke in and was noticed by the staff who remotely locked him in there. The owner received the call promptly.
When I met the man some 2 weeks later and asked what had happened to the wannabe thief his reply was along the lines of "He dislikes being naughty now. Can't do it in his state." They kept the said c**t locked overnight, took him to the local Gealic Football bar where the man's mates explained to the thief the wrongness of his act using "natural equipment".Posted 1 year ago # -
this is what the magistrates are up against:
http://www.sentencing-guidelines.gov.uk/docs/overarching_principles_sentencing_youths.pdf
and if someone wants to nick your bike, let them, its nots worth a knife in the guts.......
Posted 1 year ago # -
samuri - Member
Someone broke into our flat in manchester and stole my girlfriend's bike.
Later that day I went into town and saw it locked to a bench in the centre so I spent about 4 hours sat there with a pair of flails in my coat waiting for them to come back so I could a. get the bike back and b. kill them. (I had a number of mental issues relating to justice and revenge that I only recognise now).Are you Batman?
Posted 1 year ago # -
This is still painful for me even though its a year or 2 ago now.
Basically I watched a chav scum thief ride off on my mate's bike out of the work bike shed. I thought my mate had parked round in the other bike shed which would've been much closer to his office. So as this scrote rode by me I thought "Thats like Jon's bike"... anyway, I gave chase once I'd spoken to Jon, but by the time I'd unlocked my bike he had disappeared.
I still feel shit that I could've just stopped him and asked, then decked the f*&%er.
Posted 1 year ago # -
not a bike story but guy broke into neighbours car,10.45 sat night 01 ford focus, i politely went out and ask him what he was doing...........he took his head out of the window and told me where to go and carried on..............long story short....scuffle, bit of a chase, scuffle aprehended him, police came eventually I was right royally told off in front of the thief..........local bobby took me on one side and said should not have done it but well done. Told off by neighbours and wife, guy got community service. Intrestingly as the chase unfurled we passed a few people who did not help one bit and i am shouting thief and all.
I was embarressed/damaged male pride that in the first scuffle when i hit him he got up......he was angry I broke his mobile phone and ripped his tracksuit.
all in all I would do it againPosted 1 year ago # -
Yep Crell off here tried to nick my Fuquay once!
I was in a phone box calling my girlfriend when he decided to run off with it for a laugh...I was out of the box with my hands round his throat in seconds...adrenaline shot was insane! he pannicked a bit and croaked out "Justin it's me!"...Mrs thought I'd been mugged!
I recovered a mates bike too once ...saw a guy riding along on it and I just grabbed him and told him it was nicked...miraculously a copper on a police bike passed a minute later and I flagged him down...mate was gutted though cos he'd got a new one coming from the insurance co...don't know what happened to the guy who bought it
Posted 1 year ago # -
ok... I've got a quick tale to tell...
A large, shaven headed, heavily tattooed, neanderthal looking friend of mine awoke one morning to find his front door ajar and his rigid rockhopper missing from the hallway..
After a bit of swearing and cursing and much stamping around he decided to put it down to experience.. I guess he doesn't have much faith in our boys in blue and reasoning that as our local copshop is barely even staffed, he went off to work to earn some more readies..
Later that week.. driving through the town center.. he spots a junkie looking fella nonchalantly pedalling across the road at a crossing right in front of him.. Leaping out of his Transit van.. our hero shouts to the guy to stop.. the junkie leaps about 3 feet into the air and desperately tries to pedal off at speed.. missing a gear and generally getting tangled.. (obviously guilty). Our hero then skilfully avoids all the old bids and single mums and school kids that are watchiong the scene unfold.. and clotheslines the thief to floor.. picking up the theif under one arm and the bike under the other he chucks the lot in the back of the van and drives to the copshop..
there is a couple of Rozztafarians hanging about outside.. so our man open the back of the van.. pulls the now rather disteressed bikethief out.. marches him up and hands him over to the stunned coppers before hopping back in the van and driving home..
rather surprisingly no furthur action was taken against our hero... but the thief went to jail after admitting to a string of thefts in the area!happy ending (the poster wishes to state that he in no way advocates vigilante behaviour.. no matter how poetic)
Posted 1 year ago # -
Mine was nicked in Watford town centre.
In a nut shell:
later tat evening I found the scum, with my bike propped up against the wall by a café.
I approached the two lads, chained my bike to the one that I was riding.
They got a little gobby & walked away.
Next day the police dusted for prints. No results.
It took 2 months for me to be called in for a photo-fit but they all looked guilty!
No arrests.
The CCTV was singularily useless as the police told me it would.
The end.Posted 1 year ago # -
Not a bike but. I was driving out of the car park at Uni of Salford when my mobile rang. I stopped to take the call, was leaning over the passenger seat writing something on a post it when the interior light came on. I looked up at the rear view mirror to see a spotty faced ginger yout taking my laptop out of the boot.
I jumped out and ran up the road after him and caught him just as he arrived at his waiting mate who was holding both their bikes. I grabbed my laptop bag, but he wouldn't let go so I punched him in the chest and he fell backwards over the bikes. Both chuckle brothers then panicked and ran off so I was left standing there with my laptop in one hand and both their bikes. This was witnessed by a uni prof who was also leaving the car park and he had phoned the police. A traffic warden heard the radio call and was there in less than a minute and stayed with me while the pair of pillocks lurked in some nearby trees making various dire threats. Old Bill turned up in a Transit, loaded both bikes in and drove off. Never heard another thing about it.Posted 1 year ago # -
so I punched him in the chest
eeeww! You touched a ginger?
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not a bike thief, but my buddy spotted me in town walking towards my locked up bike and proceeded to pretend to be fiddling with the lock. I didn't realise it was him and volleyed him in the head. still feel bit guilty about that, i'd known him for 4 years.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Caught some little scrote trying to get through the chain attaching my bike to a metal fence by the side of the road while I was at uni. Clearly obvious what he was doing had hack saw in hand and was industriously sawing away.
He had his head down and was oblivious to the fact I had walked up behind him. Wearing my steel toe cap boots. He got a two step punt in the nuts as hard as i could physically kick him. Went straight down into a ball of misery and stayed there crying. Hopefully wont try stealing bikes again, or for that matter trying to spawn more scrotes.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Not very hippy-like of you! But I approve
Posted 1 year ago # -
Few years ago,on a new sustrans route, a lad walking his bike with a puncture, so i stopped and asked if he was ok,and did he want to fix his puncture.
Yes he said,
Got off my bike, and started to take his wheel out,got the wheel out,and looked round and the lad was rideing my bike oof down the track, ran after him and pulled at the seat pillar,little sod went over the bars,and wasnt ver happy.
Got back to his bike and threw his rear wheel over a fence, and left him there.
If somebody nicks your bike always grab the seat tube, as Newtons law of motion states every body continues in a state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless acted upon by some external force.
The thief may well riggle out of his jacket, but seeing him go over the bars is interesting.
Posted 1 year ago # -
He got a two step punt in the nuts as hard as i could physically kick him. Went straight down into a ball of misery and stayed there crying.
best one yet!!
Posted 1 year ago # -
A courier friend of mine in London had his fixie nicked one day (this in the days when only hardcore couriers rode fixies), came out of the office and gave chase, sure enough the scrote soon tried to freewheel and went straight over the bars. Mate walked up to him, kicked him hard as he lay there in the road, picked his bike up and calmly resumed his deliveries.
Posted 1 year ago # -
For some reason I'm finding this thread enormously uplifting. Please, let's have more tales of lowlives getting their comeuppance.
Posted 1 year ago # -
working as a courier in Glasgow, sitting on a bench eating a sandwich, two neds tried to take bike off me, hit one with a shackle lock
Posted 1 year ago # -
Here's a motorcycle one for you.In the late 80's I had a ground floor flat in a dodgy town & had a Kawasaki Z650 parked outside the front door.About 2 or 3 in the morning I heard a noise outside and 3 scrotes were trying to lever the padlock off the front disc.I looked out of another window and there was another scrote looking out for them.
So I got my hammer out of the toolbox,put my jeans & steelies on and decided to prevent my bike getting stolen..
I opened the door & took a swing at the nearest tealeafs head,I just missed him (which is what I wanted,I do'nt want to be up for GBH over these scumbags), ended up chasing them down the street but non of them were up for it.Then I realised if the police turn up now it's approx 3 am,I'm topless just wearing a pair of jeans & my steelies holding a ballpane hammer how am I gonna explain this?
Anyway it worked never had any trouble from the local scumbags after that..Posted 1 year ago # -
Not a bike but when my parents were travelling (backpacking in their 60s) in North Africa they ended up in Casablanca. When my mums pack was cut off her shoulders, the ex-copper in my dad kicked in and he chased them. It was only 5 mins into the chase that he realised he was in the backstreets, hardly anyone around and if he caught them or they stopped, he was in for a kicking.
Posted 1 year ago # -
miraculously a copper on a police bike passed a minute later and I flagged him down
@ whytetrashwhen exactly was this ? In Victorian times ? Holy crap, how old are you ? you dont look that old in real life ! Did the bobby have a whistle too ? Hope he caught the rascal, did he grab the scallywag by the ear ?
Posted 1 year ago # -
when I was 13 (nearly 20 years ago) I stupidly left my prize Marin unlocked outside the newsagents whilst I went in to get a copy of MBUK
came out to see a lad jump on the bike and ride off shouting 'thanks a lot mate', I chased him for about 1/2 mile until he was out of sight - I cried all the way home
anyway, turns out he was a local serial thief and ended up getting jailed the next week for not paying a taxi fare (!), didn't get my bike back though
then a couple of years ago he was found dead in the grounds of an old hospital with his head caved in, been there for a while
sounds harsh, but I was glad, I loved that MarinPosted 1 year ago # -
he was found dead in the grounds of an old hospital with his head caved in, been there for a while. sounds harsh, but I was glad, I loved that Marin
Posted 1 year ago # -
My old landlord was a builder and also lived in our house. There were a spate of car break ins round the back lane. Landlord and his mate did a full on stake out from a camper van for a couple of nights. Eventually caught the culprit. Surprised him, bundled into the camper, bound, gagged and blindfolded. Evidently two 15mm copper pipes gaffer taped together feel like a shotgun when pressed to your temple while you're driven round for a bit thinking about what you did.
No more break ins round our way for a while...
...and after he told us about it, we were never late with the rent!
Another mate caught a burglar in the process of opening their kitchen window. My mate was going to the kitchen to get his first cup of tea of the day. Stark naked. Think that surprised them both - and I doubt the burglar will be back!
Posted 1 year ago # -
also, there's always about 20 bikes outside my local Sainsbury's and there's often kids aged 11-14 outside eyeing up the bikes to either steal lights, or bags or the bikes themselves
they're idiots, but they know which bikes to nick; the ones with only wheels locked up or those with crappy cable locks that they can just snip with some bolt croppers
.
I've seen them nick two bikes, but not been in a position to give chase, but then last week I saw a group of 5 of them circling like hyeenas and thought I'd hang around to see what happened
they spotted a bike which only had it's rear wheel locked up and decided that was the one so I went over and stood next to it - I got lots of verbal and they still tried to take the bike away without it's back wheel whilst claiming it was their bike; they had bolt croppers stuffed down their socks
they got bored after a while and wandered off so I tried to hang around until the owner came back but they didn't so I told Sainsbury's staff who said they'd call the police if it got stolen
.
I would happily light a bonfire made of bike thievesPosted 1 year ago # -
Posted 1 year ago # -
when exactly was this ? In Victorian times ? Holy crap, how old are you ? you dont look that old in real life ! Did the bobby have a whistle too ? Hope he caught the rascal, did he grab the scallywag by the ear ?
Ummm...sorry pedant a police motorbike...Honda Pan European if I rightly recall!
Posted 1 year ago # -
a few years ago i was working on renovating my house, i nipped into the garage to get a screwdriver, as i approached i saw a scrote ride out of the garage on my new mount vision, i set off running after him, but he quickly left me for dead, although he was struggling to get his feet on the clipless pedals properly,
He looked back to see me in the distance, took one of his hands off the bars and give me the V sign, as he did this his foot came off the pedal and he fell from the bike, i had a spurt of speed, and as he saw me getting closer he left the bike and ran off.
i picked the bike up, and watched him run into the distance, then suddenly realised that i could now catch him, i mounted the bike and started to catch him, shouting, "when i catch you im going to kill you"
i was about 10 yards away from him, and he got into a metro that was parked in a back street, he locked the door and tried to start the car, i could see it was a stolen , because he was starting it with a screwdriver,
Thinking he was getting away he gave me the V sign again, i was so angry i punched the side window, and it smashed, his face was a feeecking picture,
I reached into the car, and he started to reverse with me hanging out the window, then he started to try and stab me with the screwdriver.
using the minimum amount of force necessary, i disarmed him, and subdued him until the police arrived to arrest him !!.
before they arriverd he said "look mate you got your bike back let me go"!!!
he was a heroin adduict who had been released from prison 2 days earlier.
to say my adreneline was flowing was an understatementPosted 1 year ago #
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