…you order coffee and a guy arrives with a cafetière and an egg timer – and tells you that you must wait until the sand’s run out before plunging? Apparently, a few seconds either way could seriously affect the quality of the après-meal beverage experience…

Is this the norm for 2012 dining – am I just out of touch – or did I just eat at pretension central?

Incidentally, I ordered a risotto, but got a rrrrhhhisotto, too. 😐

cafetiere?

Are you living in the 1980’s?

Ah, you kids with your fancy lingo… what are you calling it these days?

In a restaurant the coffee comes in a cup from the espresso machine

or did I just eat at pretension central

Yup.

In a restaurant the coffee comes in a cup from the espresso machine

Not in this restaurant… I’m told a cafetière and an egg timer adds that extra touch of class…

Ah, you kids with your fancy lingo… what are you calling it these days?

fizzypop

Have you ever been to a restaurant

No. Sit-down Greggs once, but found it awfully high-falutin.

did I just eat at pretension central

Yes.

Also, I thought that in a restaurant you paid them to make you a coffee … I’ve never been told to finish doing their job for them

Worst of all, the egg timer that came with the fizzypop tech wasn’t even a fancy one. Old, chipped wood. Demerit on the pretension stakes right there, I’d say.

yes and id annoyed me,but not enough to start a thread. I did think that if they thought it so important they should have waited that extra minute before bringing the coffee out.

surprised they let you plunge at all tbh.

my experience with them is that every 100th (or so) plunge the whole thing just seems to ‘explode’ and scalding coffee and grounds shoot out the top of the jug.

Being STW, surely this is seen as a good thing?

I don;t think I’ve ever managed to make a decent cup of coffee in a cafetiere . Stove top or drip filter things no problem. Either I’ve not got the knack or they don’t make very good coffee. I either get weak coffee or cold coffee

A Cafeteria? With an egg timer?

Did you have a bacon and egg sarnie too??

Now that’s 1970’s.

Me thinks you ate in “Bills Caff/Gaff”

If you think it was pretentious, then it probably wasn’t. I think they were in all seriousness trying to be ironic, with an iconic twist.

Tell us about the location, I’d suggest we know already.

I don;t think I’ve ever managed to make a decent cup of coffee in a cafetiere . Stove top or drip filter things no problem. Either I’ve not got the knack or they don’t make very good coffee. I either get weak coffee or cold coffee

Have you ever tried using an egg timer?

Tell us about the location, I’d suggest we know already.

Wasn’t Knightsbridge… it was a half-timbered gaff in Cheshire. No irony intended, I reckon. Maybe fancy Southern ways haven’t drifted this far north…

Did they make it with a lemon tweeeeest?

Cheshire

Ah, well, that confirms it. Pretension central without a doubt.

Apart from believing a cafetiere/egg-timer enhances the dining experience, Cheshirists also get immense sexual pleasure from shopping in John Lewis (I assume this, considering how excited they get just at the mere mention of it).

Most people would get dressed up for a night at the Theatre/Opera.
Some people do this just for an afternoon in John Lewis.

Then there’s people like me bumbling around in my shorts and grubby trainers.

😀

I wonder if they had the egg timers custom made to the volumetric and thermal properties of the cafetiere combined with the perfectly controlled ambient temp and local barometric pressure ? ?

“a few seconds either way could seriously affect the ….” MY ARSE !

My local coffee shop tells you how many minutes to wait before pushing the plunger when you get one of those but the bloke behind the counter tells me the alternative is they would have several on the go behind the counter with timers to get the coffee right. That said, in a restaurant, I’d just expect a coffee rather than a precisely brewed cup with maximum flavour.

This place , popular with local pro. Football by any chance ?

Cheshire?

That’s in the North then..

Thought so.

Do McDonalds do coffee in “pots” these days.

That’s in the North then..

Thought so.

Do McDonalds do coffee in “pots” these days.

Your anti Northern bias offends me, Mr. Bouy. 🙄

To enhance your understanding of our fine region, I attach this promotional photo of queuing Northerners outside the Golden Arches, Rotherham, c. 2011. The image is whimsically entitled: “Soz kids, looks like youz gettin’ no happy meals today.”

In a restaurant the coffee comes in a cup from the espresso machine

good restaurants give you the choice of aeropress/siphon/espresso
well they do in ‘that London’

Is that Russell Brand in the bowler?

When did the world get so down on the cafetiere? I make perfectly nice coffee in one, Mug coffee, for wandering about the house with or drinking while having a fettle. treat coffee from the expresso machine.

it was a half-timbered gaff in Cheshire

In Sandbach, perchance?

Most people would get dressed up for a night at the Theatre/Opera.
Some people do this just for an afternoon in John Lewis.

I see you’ve met my mother.

Anyway, stop dissing Cheshire. If nothing else, it’s home to England’s oldest type of cheese.

I don;t think I’ve ever managed to make a decent cup of coffee in a cafetiere . Stove top or drip filter things no problem. Either I’ve not got the knack or they don’t make very good coffee. I either get weak coffee or cold coffee

Pre heat thingy with boiling water, add three tablespoons of ground coffee, fill with boiling water while stirring…after thirty seconds stir again..after three minutes plunge..wait another minute after plunging.. Pour…after pouring await flaming from STW coffee snobs…sob gently for not being a coffee snob…drink your nice coffee…

I either get weak coffee or cold coffee

Use more coffee and/or drink it more quickly.

NOT BOILING WATER!

Dear god have you learned nothing from STW?

fill with boiling water

NOoooooo! not boiling water, by all means preheat the jug, (if you really want to), but let the water sit after boiling (or ideally don’t quite let it boil), as boiling water will burn the coffee and spoil the taste. Coffee is not like tea, which A) must have boiling water poured over it and B) is vile.

Our kettle has a different button for coffee so it switches off before it boils.

#awaits the scorn#

[sobs gently with nice coffee] …..
See…. 😥

Wasn’t Knightsbridge… it was a half-timbered gaff in Cheshire. No irony intended, I reckon. Maybe fancy Southern ways haven’t drifted this far north..

Are you aware that the bloke that owns most of the south lives in this ‘ere Cheshire?

Hang on a sec – how long exactly should you leave the boiled water before pouring into your jug?

Here I was, full of scorn about the pretension of an egg-timer/cafetiere combo, and now it turns out there’s a real science to this business. 🙂

See…. 😥

sorry…

Hang on a sec – how long exactly should you leave the boiled water before pouring into your jug?

Until its not boiling anymore. [has stopped bubbling]

“They” recommend the water is around 80 degrees. I usually boil it and leave it a minute or two as I can’t be bothered with a thermometer and it seems to be about right.

When it’s just stopped bubbling it will still be 99 degrees or thereabouts. It should be about 95 for coffee*, so I usually just stop the kettle before it starts to properly boil and then wait a minute and swill it around before pouring.

Just experiment – if you use boiling water it’ll burn the coffee and make it bitter, so try cooler water until the coffee is nice and smooth. Should be very obvious.

* or so I thought – see post above mine.

I work on the basis that as the water pours and passes through the air it will loose a couple of degrees…

Also tap water has impurities and the process of vapourising does begin before boiling point, vigerous boiling is 100 as the tempterature cannot go any higher, there will still be bubbles down to low 90s.

Dagnabit – now I wish I’d asked the waiter who handed me that cafetière and egg timer if the water was poured in at 95 degrees…

Should have come to STW first I guess.

Excellent advice as usual!