Viewing 40 posts - 1 through 40 (of 105 total)
  • Have I been a bit mean to my child?
  • thegreatape
    Free Member

    My daughter is not allowed to take her Nintendo DS to school, the main reason being she is hopeless at looking after things, and would almost certainly lose it.

    This morning I saw her sneaking past the lounge towards the front door with it tucked up her arm. So I asked her to go and let the dogs out in the garden and lo and behold there it was right at the bottom of her school bag. Unbeknown to her, it’s now in my filing cabinet.

    I wonder how long it will be before she says anything!

    But I do wonder if I’ve been a bit mean?

    Liftman
    Full Member

    Yes you are pure evil 😈

    IHN
    Full Member

    Well, if it was me, she’d know it was in the filing cabinet, as I’d told her she couldn’t take it and she’d tried to anyway. She’d have it back when she’d learnt her lesson.

    hora
    Free Member

    I’d have asked her before she left the house. She’d have surrended it but thought ‘wow, how did he know’ (she’d think you are really all seeing and all knowing then).

    This way she’ll worry shes lost it all day…

    captaincarbon
    Free Member

    Good work! She’ll appreciate the one upmanship and have to work harder to surpass your level of devious detective work to get it past you in future.. A good life lesson well learnt!

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    This way she’ll worry shes lost it all day…

    That’s what I’m hoping.

    IHN – she’ll know in due course. I’m just interested to see if she’ll claim she’s lost it in the house or if she’ll admit she took it to school (well, thinks she did). The evidence will be put to her in interview but only after she’s given an account of her movements at the time of the offence.

    MrsToast
    Free Member

    Well, if it was me, she’d know it was in the filing cabinet, as I’d told her she couldn’t take it and she’d tried to anyway. She’d have it back when she’d learnt her lesson.

    If it was me, I’d have put her in the filing cabinet for her blatant insubordiation!

    juanking
    Full Member

    It’s all fun in your house eh!

    Rickos
    Free Member

    How old is she? If she’s like 7 then it’s a bit mean. If she’s like 13 then it serves her right.

    fastindian
    Free Member

    ape – I’d have done exactly the same, theres nothing like that ‘OH S@@T’ I’ve lost it feeling to reinforce a dads point!

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    Not when I’m in charge it’s not juan 🙂

    She’s 11.

    sputnik
    Free Member

    You are right not to let her take it to school. Whether you went about it the right way is not for us to decide.

    djglover
    Free Member

    So you sunk to the level of a 7 year old and took it out without telling her. Way to earn respect – GO YOU!

    DrP
    Full Member

    Does she also wonder what that squelching feeling in her shoes is….?!

    DrP

    philconsequence
    Free Member

    yay parenting thread, this can only go well 🙄

    mastiles_fanylion
    Free Member

    Well, if it was me, she’d know it was in the filing cabinet, as I’d told her she couldn’t take it and she’d tried to anyway. She’d have it back when she’d learnt her lesson.

    This.

    But WTF is happening even considering allowing children to take their DS to school (ie, if they do take good care of things).

    Back in the day when I was a kid I would have had it confiscated by a teacher for even having it at school…

    MadBillMcMad
    Full Member

    mean – no.

    I have always wondered why parents ever allow kids to take expensive toys in to school.

    Am I mean – I never allowed them to take anything more valuable than a pack of cards or a ball.

    TandemJeremy
    Free Member

    The evidence will be put to her in interview but only after she’s given an account of her movements at the time of the offence.

    Fantastic stuff!

    cheshirecat
    Free Member

    As a father of a 12 (almost 13) year old girl, I have absolutely no idea what goes on in her head, and have absolutely no advice to give.

    Best of luck….

    Doesn’t seem harsh to me BTW.

    Paul

    gravitysucks
    Free Member

    She’ll realise its a lesson when she gets home and you tell her.
    Until then she’ll likely be upset, distracted and shi77ing herself about telling you she’s lost it.
    Hope she’s not learning anything important today.

    druidh
    Free Member

    The lesson will surely be “if I could remove it from her bag without you noticing, so could someone else”. I reckon that will sink in a bit more than you just telling her off – i.e. it show that, as an adult, you would have made the right choice (to leave it at home).

    How long will you let her stew when she gets home?

    oldnpastit
    Full Member

    Poor kid! Give her a break, she’s only eleven!

    I guess if you want her to distrust you and suspect you of being a thief for the rest of her life, then yes, you’ve succeeded. Well done you.

    hels
    Free Member

    I reckon it’s perfectly fair. She is learning an important lesson about lying and sneaking, and punishing herself worrying she has been caught.

    Sounds a good days work to me, but all my parenting knowledge is from watching Super Nanny.

    vinnyeh
    Full Member

    she is hopeless at looking after things, and would almost certainly lose it.

    Do you tell her that to her face, or just think it?

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    djglover – Member

    So you sunk to the level of a 7 year old and took it out without telling her. Way to earn respect – GO YOU!
    How would you have dealt with it then smartarse?

    TBH I think she’ll probably learn a valuable lesson, having worried about losing it all day.

    sadmadalan
    Full Member

    Exactly what I would have done. However it is important to tell her as soon as possible that you have her DS, so she does not start to panic about telling you that she has lost it.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    As a father of a 12 (almost 13) year old girl, I have absolutely no idea what goes on in her head

    I have the same issue with my daughter.

    My wife makes comments about her such as;

    “You can do the same thing twice and the second time she’ll just throw all her toys out the pram for no reason at all.”

    I’ve previously mentioned that it’s probably genetic and passed down through the maternal line but it’s been impressed on me that this is certainly ‘not the case at all’ (after agreeing that it was possible the first time I said it *sigh*).

    restless
    Free Member

    My kids’ school would confiscate a DS , the children are not allowed to take expensive toys/gadets into school.

    toby1
    Full Member

    When you are old and incapacitated she’ll beat you daily with that same DS!

    Sorry – couldn’t resist 🙂

    matt_outandabout
    Full Member

    My kids’ school would confiscate a DS , the children are not allowed to take expensive toys/gadets into school.

    ^ This
    and even if they did allow – the kids should be socially speaking and playing and interacting and all that. (bored in the back of the car theory, see).
    And mine would loose/damage/stolen….
    Not harsh at all. I wish more people kept a control on ‘screen time’ – myself included…

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    my experience is that children are fairly accepting of ‘rules’ – they’ll try and get around them but if they think they’ll get caught and/or the punishment is appropriate and proportionate then they’ll generally just work within the boundaries.

    arbitary or ‘unjust’ rules tend to attract a lot of ‘it’s not fair’ type comments and foot stamping.

    My daughters school have a rule about no electronics in school but we make her take an mobile phone with her (she’s 10) ‘just in case’ – she knows it’s to stay in her bag, understands when she’s to use it and it has, a couple of times, been very useful. She knows she can’t take her Kindle/ipod though and accept sit.

    Macgyver
    Full Member

    I work on a summer camp for kids and we expressly state no electronics at camp. If we see a phone, Ipod whatever we take it and they get it back at the end of the day. It’s not just being mean as we are on a small island and often end the day on the beach and in the ocean – not good partners for electronics. Well that and they are a bloody pain in the harris and lead to kids not paying attention, arguing over gear etc. Last year a row over an mp3 player resulted in a machete being drawn in anger!!!!

    As for the OP I see his point but do wonder if all the of the school day will just drift in one ear and out the other as she frets over who stole/did I loose my Nintendo. In ten years time you’ll be able to trace your daughters failure to that one day in school where she didn’t pay attention 😉

    Merchant-Banker
    Free Member

    What are you the sneaky family.

    I think you should be more worried as to why your daughter has no respect for anything you say,

    If my son was told not to take his ds to school, i can 100% guarantee he wouldn’t take it.

    Reason being im his dad, and he does what his dad says, no questions no debates.

    I presume your daughter knows the difference between right and wrong,yet still chose to disobey you,and went around it in a way that was very sneaky,

    Having seen what your daughter was up too, you then choose to be just as sneaky, by sending her on a fake dog mission, just so you could act in a way that was equal to your daughters sneaky ness.

    Your now going to have a child at school that may worry all day due to the fact she,s now DS less,or be concocting a pack of lies for you.

    All because you didnt have words with her, when you seen it under her arm.

    Imo you missed a perfect opportunity to re-enforce why your daughter should not take her DS to school but instead chose to be a thief.

    I carnt see how that will get you any respect of your daughter,but maybe thats why she took it in the first place.

    We are patiently waiting for our 11 year old daughter to locate her HTC Wildfire she took to school on Monday. She takes it every day, but now can’t find it. It’s going to be a long 6 months with a fiver a month pocket money as we keep back the remaining £15 to cover the contract. Thinking about it – that fiver can go on a pay as you go sim that she’ll have to put in the Nokia brick we give her.

    wwaswas
    Full Member

    looking at Merchant-Banker’s history the word ‘troll’ seems to be quite a good fit.

    druidh
    Free Member

    matt_outandabout – Member
    the kids should be socially speaking and playing and interacting and all that.

    All the fun DS stuff is multi-player.

    D0NK
    Full Member

    You are right not to let her take it to school. Whether you went about it the right way is not for us to decide

    Eh? of course it’s for us to decide this is STW, besides Ape explicitly asked us to comment on his parenting skills ffs

    Reason being im his dad, and he does what his dad says, no questions no debates

    **** me that’s a statement and a half, either pure troll or this will blow up in your face quite spectacularly some time in the future.

    binners
    Full Member

    Last year a row over an mp3 player resulted in a machete being drawn in anger!!!!

    So… no electronics or gadgets, but large weapons are ok? Good work! That’ll toughen the little blighters up 😆

    loum
    Free Member

    The evidence will be put to her in interview but only after she’s given an account of her movements at the time of the offence.

    What the cops never figured out, and what I know now, was that these men would never break, never lie down, never bend over for anybody…anybody.

    yunki
    Free Member

    Reason being im his dad, and he does what his dad says, no questions no debates

    Godwin’s law surely..?

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