It’s just like voting on The X Factor, but without the feeling of dread that comes from knowing that you’ll subsequently be expected to buy a horrible power ballad about believing in your dreams by whoever wins.
Am I the only saddo who stops up and watches results come in tonight? I have a horrible feeling that I'm going to be looking at a smug, grinning Nigel Farage. But at least there will be interviews with a grim-faced Dave as some form of compensation. And the Lib Dems will probably get less of the vote than the Pirate Party, thus flagging up the electoral Armageddon that awaits the treacherous Tory collaborators next year