I was on 20 mg of this several years ago after having what can only be described as a "breakdown " which crept up on me from I don't know where.
Result was a trip in tears to a very understanding GP who was very supporting and helpful.
First thing she did was to have a long chat then sign me off work for a month and to give me a prescription for 20mg once a day with a warning not too expect miracles and explained that it takes around 2 - 4 weeks for C to kick in.
No unpleasant side effects for me other than the slightly dry mouth which I could live with.
When it did kick in it seemed to totally compress my range of emotions, stopped the dreadful lows brought on by my breakdown , which was great , However it also prevented any highs to the extant that I found myself thinking " This should be great fun, but I am not getting that buzz today " in my case this was a small price to pay as the lows were bad, a very dark place I don't want to go back to.
After a while my GP suggested maybe some councelling may help and as my employer had a scheme which provided some free sessions I took up the suggestion, for me that also helped.
In the end I made a staged return to work after 4 months and eventually after about 9 months also came off the C in a staged managed way over a period of about 2 months, this was agreed with GP after several discussions where I made it clear I didn't like the idea of being on anything long term and she agreed that was a sensible approach not wanting me on anything long term.
I know every one is differant but my outlook now would be "Talk to your GP, Take their advice, explain your reservations BUT most of all give it chance to work "
I was very sceptical about such pills before but now I have to say I realise they have a place and job which they can dso very well given chance.
Good Luck on your journey and I hope the dark place becomes a thing of the past for you as it has ( so far ) for me