To make cheese on toast simply lightly toast your bread, put cheese on your toast ,put your toaster on its side and insert the cheese and toast.
I really can’t see that ending in tears.

Is your Mum a big Viz reader?

…it’s a government initiative to reduce the population.

All can see is a sticky mess all over the inside of the toaster, a look of disappointment and possibly a small fire.

Can someone try it whilst filming it?

We had a group of Dutch guests in our chalet once. We came back one afternoon to find the chalet in darkness. Guests told us that all the power had gone off. While I went down to check the breaker panel, my other half asked if they had any idea what caused it. They said “we’re not sure, we were only using the toastie machine at the time.” We were perplexed at this as we don’t have a toastie machine. Further interrogation revealed that they’d been putting whole cheese, ham & tomato sandwiches in the toaster…

yup. very subtle zippy 😉

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12010433/Warning-as-toaster-sets-on-fire-after-woman-follows-Facebook-life-hack.html

there was loads of this on the click-bait news websites recently – someone had a fire and voiced her amazement

(aparrently Jamie Oliver has recommended it in the past)

Amateurs ! It only works if you lie the toaster on it’s side…

One of my kids once decided she wanted melted chocolate spread on her toast so she chocolaterred(?) the bread before putting it in the toaster, not a big fan of chocolate spread so it was lovely getting it on my toast for a couple of weeks after. Especially when you’re eating beans on toast.

We were perplexed at this as we don’t have a toastie machine. Further interrogation revealed that they’d been putting whole cheese, ham & tomato sandwiches in the toaster…

I do this all the time at work, it’s fully awesome and the only possible way of making a cheese and ham sandwich acceptable. No tomatoes though, I’m not a heathen!

You can do fully loaded baguettes in a trouser press.

i just pour my pot noodle straight into the kettle

Daughter #1 has taken to making cheese and ham toasties:
1) toast bread
2) put cheese and ham on ‘buttered’ toast
3) put toast/ham/cheese into microwave and zap for 30 seconds
4) eat

I though tit waould make the toast go soggy but it’s fine. If she heard about putting the toaster on its side we’d be in trouble!

My mate once shit in the kettle at work…

I once saw a grown man putting cold vinegar into a very hot frying pan to add to the taste of his soon to be eggy bread.

The resulting whaft and puff of black smoke was entertaining to watch from the safety of the partially closed kitchen door.. 😆

Some of you need some of these.

From that Telegraph link

As she tried this, her toaster burst into flames, and she had to quickly cast it out of the window so as not to start a fire in the house.

It took around 20 minutes until the fire was out and hours for the smoke to clear from Suzanne’s home.

Clearly not the sharpest knife in the drawer there then. How difficult can it be to put out a small fire in an unplugged toaster that’s outside?