I’m approaching the due date for snippage (Sunday) and could do with some help understanding the planning and execution of some undercarriage shrubbery pruning.

T’internet isn’t too useful on this, with lots of pretty contradictory info being given by both the snippers and the snippees. There is quite a lot of resource out there on shaved groins but most of it that I looked at wasn’t too useful as many didn’t seem to involved testes.

Anyway, I’ve gathered the garden strimmer, shears, secateurs, beard trimmer and safety razor. Soap, shaving gel, red towels have been added more recently.

What’s best? Full on removal of the lot? Or more selective? How the actual f can you wet shave the two veg? How short does any stubble need to be? When’s best to do this? Now, to let any cuts heal, or Sunday morning?

And yes, I have asked the provider and was shown a line drawing about 3 months ago of where to shave but frankly they haven’t been useful in the slightest.

Any other tips would be greatly welcomed!

And yes, I have read the threads. And no, I don’t want to see a picture of your handiwork particularly.

Help! 😳

Be a man:

100% coverage. Or rather removal.

It gives you something to talk to the nurses about whilst the baby moles being attacked.

Just a general tidy up, they will remove all that is required for the actual op. I had mine done at this time of year, the most surreal thing ever having the snip whilst discussing the merits of various Christmas songs that came on the radio during the op. The surgeon had never heard ‘Fairy tale of New York’ much to the disbelief of the nurses!!

do nothing. If they need to “clear the LZ” they’ll do it.

you know that nurses on Vasectomy clinics take pictures of “topiary” right?

Use Baby Powder or unscented Talc instead of soap to shave ‘down there’

I had to remove it all for a very low Hernia operation many years ago and Baby Powder made it surprisingly easy and free from soreness after.

Hedge trimmers then a good coating of Veet

I think you should leave it to the professionals aka the doctors and nurses.

For me, the line diagram showed where to apply the Veet and plaster. All provided by the clinic in advance.

3M spraymount and a lighter

They go in from the front either side of your old gentleman so maybe tidy things up there.

See, I was told no veet in the interview. And if they shave it for you, why ask you to shave?

Anyway, I’ve started hacking away at the thickest in order to comprehend the task better.

Keep the help coming!

You could always wax,it will last longer than shaving.

Ah well, if they’ve asked you then I suggest you use the Turkish barber approach aka bush fire.

Veet FTW! I got the OH to do it 😈

I’ve started hacking away at the thickest in order to comprehend the task better.

The OP earlier 😛

Just remember, there’s going to be a gauze dressing (with dried blood), possibly held on with micropore tape.
It’s up to you if you want hair to be in the vicinity when you’re trying to remove that! 😯

They go in from the front either side of your old gentleman so maybe tidy things up there.

Precisely, but the info sheet I was given didn’t make it 100% clear. Think they need some help from here to come up with a memorable explanation.

I still maintain ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ though 😀

I still maintain ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ though

Op
How handy are you with a blowtorch?

How handy are you with a blowtorch?

Is this going to turn into a Marcellus Wallace quote? 😀

Let them do it.

I was told not to for mine, the guy sorted it himself, quite matter of factly, bit like a cock barber.

Seems an odd choice of specialism to me, but each to their own.

I keep mine trimmed anyway, all smooth due to the fact the lady “likes it that way, and I do it for you, you should make an effort for me too”.

I tend to just use a womans Venus razor, and a pair of beard clippers if I need to manscape the area occasionally. My normal shower gel works for me to lubricate the area, followed by baby oil afterwards to soothen any redness (rarely happens, but new blades etc…)

Holding the chap taught usually is enough to get the scrotal area enough tight for me to get a reasonable finish.

grade 2 all over, means ALL over.

if you had stuck to that, you wouldnt need the hedge trimmer, straight to the safety razor and the pretty pattern bit.

I still maintain ‘in for a penny in for a pound’ though

He’s more likely to find a stray clagnut in there.

Do round your arsehole as well then use some of that original source mint shower gel in the shower afterwards. Sensational!

Some satisfied customers…

Had an operation on a varicocele many years ago (google if you must, image search not advised), and was woken up, morning of the op, by a guy fixing a leather strop* onto the metal bedframe above my head. He then proceeded to sharpen his razor above my face.

I asked him what he was doing and he replied he was going to give me a shave. Puzzled I stroked my smooth chin. The penny dropped. I said there was absolutely no need as they were going in via my abdomen. Cut no ice. As I was being, erm, manhandled, I noticed his hospital badge “Hairdresser”…

Apparently he used to work in the hospital (Jimmy’s, Leeds) barbers, but these days it was pretty much just pubes. There’s a job for you.

I’ve no idea why I typed that, let alone am going to click “Send Post”

*heavy leather strap used for sharpening cut-throat razors

I think Dude’s just been waiting for this thread so he can come clean about his deviant practices.

Do you stick paste gemstones on your biffins bridge to add to the allure?

Got my snip coming up on 30 Dec (three weeks before the Puffer, should be an interesting challenge) so reading this with interest. I didn’t get any sort of info sheet so was intending to turn up full Chewbacca. Now contemplating some general tidy up.

When I went in for my hernia op the advice was not to shave or remove anything as there was an infection risk. They will trim what they need to get the job done.

As for a haircut, a pair of good hairdressing or sharp scissors is enough, if you want something closer a normal razor is fine provided you keep everything tight. Source: Working in 40-60deg heat.

followed by baby oil afterwards

Deviant does not come close.

How do you stay on your bike with your oily ballsack?

Right, exploratory trimmage complete with only a couple of nicks to show for it. Now something sharper, but today? Or Saturday night/sunday morn

And how the hell do I shave, erm well, the dangly bits? Saw the advice about stretching them tight, but huh? Sounds like dissecting mice in gcse biology. Do I need to pin them to a chopping board? 😆

Do I need to pin them to a chopping board?

Absolutely correct. Let us know how that works out for you.

a nice heart shape – then you can get the old boy to “point” to whoever you’re trying to impress

I’m not taking my dad into the operating theatre!

It was the “bring some suitable reading matter” that concerned me!

I went for the full monty with help from the Mrs.

Immac – it’s a revelation afterwards, like having a new friend down there and quite enjoyable actually! 😀

I didn’t maintain the sleek look though. Too much maintenance.

And for the chap doing the Puffer three weeks after the Op – good luck… I commuted 4 miles two weeks after and it was agony!!

How long before the op did you do it?

I don’t envy you. Must be like trying to shave your elbows.