So Monday morning is my first day back in an office, a nice little co-working space with lots of people who seem to wander round in shorts…

Packing list so far laptop, mug and tea

Going to be a little weird so who else has returned to the office? How was it?

Mike’s new co-workers commuting to work:

Farting is now acceptable.

Co-working space? Does that mean you are still working independently, or it is just open plan and you are all working for the same company?
I used a co-working space whilst doing my own thing and generally it has all the benefits of an office (conversation, gets you out of the house) without the main drawback (having to engage with work colleagues).

yep it’s a shared space, as for engaging with colleagues there are only 3 of us so it’s not normally that bad.

Make sure you wear clothes

Fish pie is still unnacceptable as a microwaved lunch.

Just wish everyone got told that!

Ask someone close about your most annoying habits.

Make a conscious effort to eradicate these at home, but unleash them in the office at every possible opportunity.
See who cracks first.

Try to disrupt as many harmless, unspoken, longstanding arrangements as possible.
Pointless rotas are an excellent way of creating tension and wasting time.

Smile all the time, or not at all.

Whistling is always popular. A few bars of the most catchy ear worm will soon help the office mood.

Milk, take your own milk. The world stops when milk runs out or worse ‘borrowed’!

Be sure to make a determined effort to go into the office when you have man flu. The more annoying a cough the better.

I spent 6 years working away from my office. Had hardly any contact with any of them other than the occasional email and due to the job I was doing, socialising with them would have been difficult. Going back was fine – none of the original staff were left!

Try to instantly jump on any question or observation from your co-workers with a condesçending and smart arsey comment.

Shouldn’t be too hard for you.

Farting is now acceptable.

As is a mid morning ****.

I love not having an office. Makes me feel like that character from Pulp Fiction who gets called in to fix the mess. Except for the car insurance adverts.

If you end up in the same office as that black guy in the pic don’t offer to race him over a short distance.
With legs like that he’ll kill you.
Edit.
Just read the whole thread.
There’s one bitchey but mega funny answer there. Gave me a propper 😆