Opinions please, honest ones too…

Situation is this: My mum and step dad are in their late 60’s and are moving from the council house they’ve lived in for 30 years to a brand new adapted bungalow, which is much needed as my mum is disabled after having her legs amputated (to the groin) 5 years ago. My stepdad who’s in his early 70’s is crumbling fast as he’s an absolute workhorse looking after her, so it’s time to move to a more appropriate property.

The local housing association have been fab, but there’s some serious expense in moving and all the HA seem to offer is a new shed. . . They require new flooring for all rooms but the kitchen and wet room for starters.

My dilemma is this: Neither myself, or my two brothers can be of much help either financially or physically. One lives in Gibraltar, the other in far north Scotland and due to our own various personal reasons none of us are well off at the moment.

I lost my job in August and started my own business, I’m up to my eyes in debt and if my business don’t take off in new year i’m bust.

My mum and step dad can’t do enough for helping other people out, they’re there in a heart beat and are very popular people at their local social club. They’re well respected people who help out on everything and anything.

Question is folks, it’s not in any of our natures to go begging or borrowing, but if there’s ever been a time when they need help and it’s now. Which for me, is probably the worst time as I’m at a major negative time in my life leaving me unable to financially contribute as I’d like to.

They really need a decent floor as mum’s wheelchair destroys carpet.

I’ve been toying with the idea of trying to raise some funds for them to help out, but don’t like the idea of:
a)admitting none of us are in a position to help ourselves
b)them being ridiculed or accused of being scrubbers
c)negative comments about them in general

Whats your thoughts folks?

Are any professionals involved – social workers and the like. You may need to press for some involvement. For example the local authority / HA should be offering them an adapted flat not one they have to adapt.

Perhaps if as you say your parents have been active in the community then you could use that – get hold of someone who is also well known and let them know of your parents difficulties and see if they will help out?

tough one really.

Are any professionals involved – social workers and the like. You may need to press for some involvement. For example the local authority / HA should be offering them an adapted flat not one they have to adapt.

It’s a brand new bungalow never been lived in, it’s adapted for disabled use, except it don’t have any flooring in the main living areas. Has oven, Fridge Freezer included too.

We have an Occupational therapist coming this week to look at things like seat for shower etc has she struggles to shower not having legs and bobs can’t go in with wheelchair.

Hmmmmmmmmmm

certainly my friend who was disabled had new carpets put in her flat and adaptations made. I would be looking to press the social worker involved. There should be funds available for things like flooring if your parents really cannot afford them – but like many things those who shout loudest get the best service.

I would be looking to speak to the social worker in the first instance

I still think an unofficial approach to their community would be better than an official campaign and whatever you do discuss it with your folks first.

I’ve been toying with the idea of trying to raise some funds for them to help out, but don’t like the idea of:
a)admitting none of us are in a position to help ourselves
b)them being ridiculed or accused of being scrubbers
c)negative comments about them in general

Whats your thoughts folks?

What’s your folks thoughts on a, b and c above? I am no social media expert, but can see potential for something like this to blow up in a negative way. Friends and neighbors may contribute but others who may be in similar situation could become bitter and start to talk behind their backs etc.