a woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home
Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?
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Girls- How to help a friend who has been shat on from a great height?
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Posted 1 year ago #
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Aye. Good point.
Posted 1 year ago # -
If you want to offer practical help she will be needing somebody to take her bins out for her now. Does she have female friends ? Step aside and let them get on with the rituals.
Posted 1 year ago # -
but don't try and shag her.
Posted 1 year ago # -
You start a thread with one title and then don't actually state in what way you want to help.
What's it got to do with you? What is your involvement in the relationship? Has she come to you for help? Or are you trying to take over and solve, what you percieve, are her problems without her asking? If so that's just creepy.
Sometimes it's best to say 'I feel for you. If there's anything I can do then let me know.' and step back.
As for the ex not having a backbone, staying in the relationship would have been the spineless thing to do. As said above, better now than 5, 10-years down the line. Life, the world and people change. Great if you truely find someone to spend 80-years with that will change and grow as you do (as you will with them too). Most of the time that doesn't happen though.
Posted 1 year ago # -
What's it got to do with you? What is your involvement in the relationship? Has she come to you for help? Or are you trying to take over and solve, what you percieve, are her problems without her asking? If so that's just creepy.
Yes she has come to me for help but I do agree with your statement as a whole. I think its easy to slip into the over-mithering out of concern and need to be (over) supportive. It could end up being counter-productive and suffocating if a few people are doing this.
Does she have female friends ? Step aside and let them get on with the rituals.
Yep, following on from the above. Let this happen.As for the ex not having a backbone, staying in the relationship would have been the spineless thing to do.
Totally and utterly agree. However why the need to give her 'Im moving in with someone else and every minute bit of detail'? Theres cruel and theres callous. If he had any semblance of caring left he would have tempered what he told her. It seems to me as though he'd fallen for someone new, head over heels and damned to anyone else. Hence he didn't give a second thought to someone elses emotions.
Shes a close friend by the way. Hence me discussing this to get the shock out of me as well. One of those friends you hold up as an example of how your better friends live and how one should strive to be more like.
Posted 1 year ago # -
The thing with ending what was a commited relationship is that you very, very rarely can do it without causing pain. It's easy to disect his actions after the fact. He may well have thought and cared enough for her that she deserved total honesty. I bet if he had said 'I'm off, don't love you anymore, welcome to dumpsville - population you' and walked out, then you friend would be even more upset and confused as to where she stands.
Right now they are upset, hurt and probably thinking 'what did I do wrong?. Which is all natural. The important thing is that they move forward - not instantly - with their new life.
If she has come to you for help then do what she asks you to do but don't become a substitiute.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Women can certainly be as bad.
Go a friend who's mum ran off with his best mate!!! Now that was a shocker.
Posted 1 year ago # -
It's a cliché, but time is a great healer.
That and chick flicks and two litres of Haagen Das.
Posted 1 year ago # -
She was ready for children this year
-Run away from the bomb
woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home
- hide in the crater.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Stormwind - Member
Hora.Why not get her out biking?
My mate had a girl who he was head over heels for, she left and he was gutted. So I bought him a decent bike of ebay and he threw himself at it just to forget.
After 6 months he's a very good rider and agrees with what I've been telling him all along.
Get a ride that likes it the way you do, when you do and can be sorted out easily when it gets stroppy
Give her something to take her mind off it, we all know why we love to ride?
Once we're out there, we're free!
oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes.
anyways hora, don't do anything different to how you've been with her in the past, as that's how she knows you and that's how you've always interacted.
Posted 1 year ago # -
Well, in terms of callous detail women are funny like that. For some reason you always went to know the detail. And it's a lot better if the other woman is fatter/uglier/of lower social standing, can't even ride a bike etc. It's petty and no doubt a character flaw but that's how it is. If he hadn't told her all that she would have been torturing herself with wanting to know and complaining about that !! It's how we deal with stuff.
And I agree it takes more guts to end something knowing it will hurt the other person than hang in there spinelessly lying to them. The "ripping off a plaster" approach.
Posted 1 year ago # -
oh this just depresses me. there's more to life than riding bikes
Remember someone posted a autism/test on STW not so long ago? Alot of people on here posted highly or at the least borderline. It really didn't suprise me
Posted 1 year ago #
Topic Closed
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