Girls- How to help a friend who has been shat on from a great height?

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Girls- How to help a friend who has been shat on from a great height?

48 posts & 30 voices | Started 1 year ago by hora | Latest reply from hora

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shurrup stikes isn't even a word you twat

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hora - Member

Received a text this morning 'husband walked out last night saying 'soz found new woman and Im leaving'.

She was ready for children this year and was utterly devoted to him. Turns out hes leaving her for a woman 12yrs older who has two children and has just kicked her husband out of the marital home to make room for him.

What can you say to that? What can I say to her? Believe me she could walk into a bar tonight and have a choice if she wanted but she isn't looking for that advice I guess.

Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?

NEITHER are cyclists so they shall remain nameless. Of course unless he goes online looking under **** who are big losers.

Posted 1 year ago #
MrNutt - Member

take her in, this is your chance to build the cult you've always dreamed of!!

Posted 1 year ago #
Gary_M - Member

Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?

Are you a lady? Women can be bastards to you know.

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

30, svelte. Outgoing. Guess he just wanted someone who he worked with. Wonder how long it'll be before the shine wears off. He sat down his wife yesterday evening and told her EVERYTHING- been seeing this Nurse for 6months at work, her age, how many children, the house she lives in. WTF?

Its almost as though he was really trying to hurt her?

Posted 1 year ago #
jahwomble - Member

I would imagine that parading her pain and misfortune across an cyclist's internet forum for no readily apparent reason would be a great help.:)

Posted 1 year ago #
MrNutt - Member

hmmm sounds like you'd best make her wear a burka for the first eight or so years.

Posted 1 year ago #
bikemonkey - Member

Why are men such utter **** bastards sometimes?

It's an awful situation showing a lack of backbone from the guy involved, but a bit unfair to view this as typical of all men.

Words of advice would be a bit too lightweight given the circumstances, just offer yourself up to talk etc.

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

I would imagine that parading her pain and misfortune across an cyclist's internet forum for no readily apparent reason would be a great help.:)

I'm partly in shock. Known her on daily basis for 5yrs. I read the first two lines of the text and thought it was a joke. Reread and read the end and just felt numb. MrNutt, I'd offer my services but I think she deserves better

Correct me if Im wrong but every nutjob, flaky or flip-flop girl I've met tend to offer up warning signs from the start and partly throughout. This lad was Joe-normal right up until Friday pm. He even had a new kitchen and the spare bedroom fitted out at his insistence 'ready' for a new arrival.

Posted 1 year ago #
Quirrel - Member

She has a couple of options.

One is to sit and dwell about what she wasn't doing right in the relationship and how it's all her fault

The other is to go out get trashed (several times) have a few one night stands, realise they are bollocks, wallow in self pity, then hate men forever.

Or see it as awakening that something wasn't right and that it's better to know now rather than another 5 years down the line.

Will she take him back if he comes back tail between though?

Posted 1 year ago #
Gary_M - Member

Its almost as though he was really trying to hurt her?

Why? Do you mean by explaining exactly why he was leaving, would it have been better if he lied?

I wouldn't imagine you know the full story of their relationship so maybe best to be not quite so judgemental.

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

Will she take him back if he comes back tail between though?

I said that. I said what if he has been an impetuous-fool, wakes up and thinks 'what have I done'? She said "No way". Trust is key to her.

Gary_M - I know this girl as a good friend. We worked together for 5yrs and I even cracked a joke recently saying 'watch him with Nurses at work when he works nightshifts'. I regretted that comment as she said 'yes you were right when you said that' (talk about punching myself in the side of the head).

Posted 1 year ago #
CaptainFlashheart - Member

What I find even more shocking is that he used the abbreviation "soz" and then "Im" instead of "I'm". If you're going to dump someone by text, at least have the decency to use proper grammar.

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

Aye he should commit Sepukku. Hang on. When did Fatherhood turn me into a woman-sympathiser? I should be offering my carnal services to her. Heres my card 'hora, if you must wash that man out of your life I am the human version of Clitbang'. I should offer her some sexual semtex..

Posted 1 year ago #
rOcKeTdOg - Member

crappy, all you can do is be her mate, and for goodness sake don't come on to her

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

blokes may be shallow, but we tend not to just **** off with someone else to start a new relationship unless there are deep seated problems with a current one. (one night stands are a different issue) On the whole that involves far to much effort and planning and we are inherently lazy gits.

Posted 1 year ago #
redthunder - Member

Posted 1 year ago #
Stoatsbrother - Member

Better now than in 5, 10 or 20 years.

Just has to watch she doesn't pick a bloke who is just the same. Or take him back.

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

hora- would you be as sympathetic if she was a complete swampdonkeymoose or are you just grooming her?

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

I was joking. Yes, better now before she has children. At least have them wth someone worthwhile.

Posted 1 year ago #
ahwiles - Member

and how's this different from the way women treat men?

Posted 1 year ago #
allthegear - Member

The only "rule" is don't give advice - men do have a habit of thinking advice is the best thing to give - it osn't. Just give your support and empathy. Much more useful.

Posted 1 year ago #
tazzymtb - Member

and how's this different from the way women treat men?

hora's not trying to get into a blokes knickers

Posted 1 year ago #
Stormwind - Blocked

Hora.

Why not get her out biking?

My mate had a girl who he was head over heels for, she left and he was gutted. So I bought him a decent bike of ebay and he threw himself at it just to forget.

After 6 months he's a very good rider and agrees with what I've been telling him all along.

Get a ride that likes it the way you do, when you do and can be sorted out easily when it gets stroppy

Give her something to take her mind off it, we all know why we love to ride?

Once we're out there, we're free!

Posted 1 year ago #
ctznsmith - Member

+1 allthegear (it's hard not to do it though).

Posted 1 year ago #
luked2 - Inactive

Something similar happened to a friend of mine, but with the genders reversed.

Married for ten years, he was thinking about kids, she one day said she was leaving.

At the time it was quite a bombshell.

But five years later he's married to the nicest woman you could imagine, with a couple of children, and bizarrely seems to still be on speaking terms with his ex wife.

Posted 1 year ago #
dano - Member

Just do what you would always do with a mate...Hang out, have fun, joke, dance drink...whatever a mate needs...
When she wants to talk about it and have a shoulder to cry on, do it...
When she wants to forget about it and go out and get smashed, do that too...x

Posted 1 year ago #
jd-boy - Member

Ha, its not just Men, my ex left me for another man, so it works both ways

Posted 1 year ago #
devs - Member

If she's as nice as you say and he walked for an older woman then she must be a crap shag. Stay away in case she starts wanting to get involved with you. You don't want to be lumbered with a used goods crap shag. Give her my email address as I am a great counsellor and maybe I can cure her issues. Tell her to put some revealing pics and bank account details in the email though otherwise it might not get through my aggressive SPAM filtering.

Posted 1 year ago #
Edric 64 - Member

hora- would you be as sympathetic if she was a complete swampdonkeymoose

Is that anything like a kangorillapig?

Posted 1 year ago #
CaptainFlashheart - Member

Is that anything like a kangorillapig?

How does that compare to a Hippocrocadillopig?

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

Why not get her out biking?

Actually a good idea.

Posted 1 year ago #
teagirl - Member

Borrow a bike for her and head up to Skipton tomorrow for Wharfedale's ride! Or just go for a good long hike, walking's excellent for sorting out your mind.

Posted 1 year ago #
becky_kirk43 - Member

Just be there for her. Offer her your ear and your shoulder (for listening and crying). If she was thinking about kids then its gonna be hard for her, for a while.

Try and get her out and about doing something (like riding, but if she doesn't like riding something else) to take her mind off it, at least for a short period of time to make sure things don't go wrong with alcohol and worse.

Posted 1 year ago #
hora - Member

and worse.

I used to wind her up that maybe she should wear a Burka. He was her world FFS and thats what worries me alittle.

On a sidenote- I'm maybe thinking too much into this but he has longterm health concerns (Diabetes/has a machine fitted, digestive problems and was given a potentially bleak future prognosis). Did he have a crisis that came to a head?

Posted 1 year ago #
myheadsashed - Member

Nail to the head board to seedy man

Posted 1 year ago #

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