Cycling home tonight a paper boy, when I say boy he looked about 17! Shouted, as I rode past “Yer back wheel’s followin’ the front”

Gold star to him for observation, but a pretty pointless comment, not even a bit of swearing to juice it up?!

Sounds harmless enough.
I’d given him a cheery thumbs up.

That’s a doozy of a line – wish I’d thought of that!

I had recently ‘hay Lance, want some drugs?’ Which is a little more up to date I guess?

Twice I have had “how much is your bike worth mrs”, both in Sheffield commuting and once in Manchester where I’d stopped to check directons. Makes me feel uneasy and then I pedal faster.

When I was a paperboy , I used to shout “Mr,your back wheel is going round.” what japes.
Have recently been referred to by some kids as “faggot”. 🙁

Why do kids tell you stuff about your back wheel? Is there a joke I’m missing?

Makes a nice change from the normal abuse

There appears to be a section of society who just can’t help shouting at any moving cyclist, be they pedestrian or in a car. They appear excited and just yawp whatever words are in their head. The defining feature of them ime is they are thick and simple, but generally harmless.

My favourite going past a bus stop with some scallies in it was ‘Get a bus you tight c***’

About to enter some park land on a night ride. Group of girls sat on bench pipe up with…
“I hope you get raped up the arse”
Was quite stunned at the time and failed spectacularly in thinking of a witty response so just carried on with a shake of the head. Made me smile afterwards though the little sods.

I’ve had a girl reach out the passenger window and pinch my arse as her mate drove past . 😆

Never been shouted out, but once had a bunch of chavs drive past in a corsa and launch a McDonalds milkshake at me, it was strawberry flavoured.

@RDL-82 – would it have been inappropriate to say “you first” in those circumstances?

You clearly don’t commute into London on the tube / on foot! It happens everyday, no idea why. I (and lots of others) was shouted at today just walking across London Bridge.

my fav from this morning ‘f*** off back to p**i land!’scaffolder lorry on Kensington High Street

“Another f***ing tour de tw**ter” I actually found quite amusing around the time of the wiggins victory cycling boom.

“It’s going round…..like yer Mum” would be a suitable response.

When I was a paperboy , I used to shout “Mr,your back wheel is going round.” what japes.

The correct response to this is: “So’s your mum!”

I like this.

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4nMY3-A7YI[/video]

Nothing original. Wolf whistled by a car load of girls who squirmed with embarrassment when I caught them at the lights, and ‘go on wiggo’ from a middle aged lady from the passenger seat of a car passing me. Men, and men in vans in particular just seem to try to run me over 😥

“Bike w@nker” courtesy of the yoofs hanging around outside the post office

I generally, if I’m in a good mood, blow these types of commentators kisses and tell them i love them, i sometimes do when they are aggressive but mostly that puts me in bad mood and i get abusive back.

last week I checked over my shoulder before manoevering across a wide road as there was a roundabout coming up where I turn right, the cars were a long way back, so I signalled and moved across towards the middle of the lane… a car then decided he would speed up close the gap but i had right of way and had signalled, he undertook and told me to signal properly next time?? its a bumpy section of road you cant signal easily in the first place and not right up to the roundabout… so I showed him a better clearer signal which he would understand. One finger! He wasnt happy.

EDIT: I do wish I had a handy collection of smart replies when somebody hurls abuse, I usually fail to come back with anything of value.

“You could choke your chicken on that!” When riding a recumbent through Glasgow.

Think you get funny comments on a normal bike? They’re nothing to what you get on recumbents 😉

Monday I had a young scally come up with:

“Bicuckle”

To be fair he was about 3 y.o. Little git.

Some kids still say the coolest things like “I like you bike, mister”.

I’ve even had a ‘race’ with a random 7/8 yr old who came tearing out of his garden on his 20″ jobby. He span like mad for about 100yds then collapsed 🙂 Good lad.

TBH all of the abuse I can remember comes when I’m running. And always from teenage boys in cars IIRC.

One thing I’ve also noticed is that in certain areas of disrepute, teenage boys riding towards me (say on a path) will often ride straight at me and not move an inch to go round, thus forcing me be the one to manouvre round them. Methinks they’re happy to stack their (quite likely already nicked) £150 Halfords jobby into what they expect is going to be some expensive bling machine in the hope they can jump on it and ride off. I’m almost tempted to move aside and side-kick the next one that does this – which probably makes me a v bad man.

Riding past the City of Manchester stadium(or whatever its called this week)
Bunch of Scrotes in a car do a U-turn from the other side of the road,pull alongside and proceed to squirt me with a Super Soaker water pistol/gun,accelerate off and then do the same to a woman at the bus stop 100yds further on.

Pretty stunned at first but then kind of grateful as it was a red hot day.

Pretty stunned at first but then kind of grateful as it was a red hot day.

It was probably wee. Still lovely and cooling though.

Not gonna lie, a lot of stuff in this thread is certified hilarious.

Why do kids tell you stuff about your back wheel? Is there a joke I’m missing?

It’s in the hope that you’ll do a panicked look at the back wheel without thinking, and then crash.

What a nice society we live in.

This morning, I got “We’ve got to stop meeting like this” from a young lady who I kept exchanging places with, going into That Lahndaahn… 😀

I suppose it’s better than being gobbed on by some scrotes while passing under a canal bridge. I had that last thursday :/

The little sods didn’t know what hit them when I sneakily looped back to the bridge 2 minutes later and released a 20mph cold-laden snot rocket in revenge 😈
I hope a lesson was learned, but I doubt it.

riding into work one cold wet morning, there was a bus behind me waiting to pull in to the stop i was approaching….there was a chinese lady stood at the stop waiting for the bus….as i rode past her she said in a very polite but somewhat condescending tone “pedal faster”….

I’ve had a girl reach out the passenger window and pinch my arse as her mate drove past

I had this once, followed by them committing a getting caught at traffic lights fail.

Window still open, so I leaned on the car and said “is that your way of asking for a date”?

EDIT: also somebody threw an orange at me once, which at least makes a change for the usual fast food detritus.

“Daddy!” from a 2-yr old waiting with his mum at the bus stop.

I’m convinced there’s some sort of University of Chav Comedy where after a year’s hard graft and revision, the more intelligent chavs can graduate knowing two stock jokes to shout at cyclists:
‘ere mate, yer wheels are goin’ round!
and
Oi, mate, yer back wheel’s following the front!

Those are the only two jokes and I’ve heard them in all manner of places, it’s not just a regional thing. The amazing thing though is how funny they find it. Not just funny but literally rolling on the floor laughing. ChavGirls within earshot will spontaneously get pregnant on hearing ChavBoy’s wit and erudition. Lower grade chavs will fall in worship at the feet of Alpha Chav who has shouted this hilarity.

Unbelievable.

Recently though, they are beginning to move with the times a little bit, I had a “GO WIGGO, YEAH!!” a little while ago.

Never been shouted out, but once had a bunch of chavs drive past in a corsa and launch a McDonalds milkshake at me, it was strawberry flavoured

I’ve had the same Strawberry MCD Milkshake thrown over me too – must be something too sweet for the chavs to finish it

Cycling home near bonfire night years ago had a firework fired from a plastic down pipe hit my helmet and melt a bit out shocked the hell out of me – pesky kids

I’ve had a girl reach out the passenger window and pinch my arse as her mate drove past

I had this happen once, too. I almost fell off. 😳

I must be too boring – I have been commuting in London about 8 years and honestly can’t remember ever getting shouted at. 🙁