Back in 1997, Mrs SR and I were in JFK waiting for a connection from San Juan to Montreal. Standing at our gate and looking out the window at the turbo props parked there, a luggage tractor pulling about four carts of stacked luggage pulled up behind one of the planes and parked.

About half an hour later, the plane behind which the luggage train was parked started its engines, and we watched as all that nicely stacked luggage went flying across the asphalt.

It was like it happened in slow motion.

Oh how we laughed, and oh how others in the same area as our gate gasped in horror. 😀

What have you witnessed?

Bultaco Sherpa trials bikes had the neat trick of running backwards if you kicked them over if the motor had stopped TDC, a boy I used to ride trials with had this happen to him. 😆

First section of a trial above Caerphilly, about 80 riders watching Gareth was called on by the observer, he gets himself all lined up, sticks it up into second, hand full of revs and launches himself over the bars. Cue hilarity, everyone cracking up. Gareth not happy and then went mad when he was given a 5.

Observer said he landed in the section, one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

At a Christian Death gig ( we were there for the support) the lead singer bought his son on to chant “I am death”.
The bands back drop was scenes from Belsen. Obviously everyone thought this was a bit unsavoury so while the little lad was doing his star turn and chant came back from the audience. ..
“Your daddy’s a w@nker”
I’ve never been sure if the band’s fans had turned against them or if there were more people there for The Hunters Club than C.D.

Seeing my old head of year at school when I was about 14 (he was universally disliked by all the kids in school) having a bird crap on his head on the way to school (I was walking just behind him so had a grandstand view).

To give him credit, he wrapped the story into that morning’s assembly (probably to avoid me spreading the rumour through school myself as we *really* didn’t get on).

in toilets of a boozer in the lovely area of Stoke ( up ‘anley duck)

a very very drunk chap arrived at the urinals, having bounced of every wall and door frame on the way in, proceeds to huff and puff and make a great old fuss to everyone about how he’s pulled a student slag and he’s “gonna riun’er”
then proceed to pull a bollock out and hold it over the urinal whilst pissing down the inside of his jeans.

Laughed my tits off at the gobshite and often wonder if a piss soaked stokey did manage to bang her ” ‘arder than a sh1thouse door when plagues in town”

many many years ago me and a few mates decided to head over to Leeds for a night out. we got there and parked up on a side street only a short walk from Majestiks. while we were sat in the car one of my mates got a phone call off his mum. he was supposed to do something for her and hadnt so was getting a gold old fashioned bollocking over the phone. we all stayed silent as he hadnt told her he was out clubbing…she thought he was at work.
all the while this was happening a rather drunk girl walked down the street and then stopped outside our car and pulled her knickers down and started to pee while still stood up. you could see the wee spraying the wall behind her and all down the back of her legs and underwear. while she was doing this she was drunkenly singing something out to her boyfriend who was walking over to her.
we were sat in the car pissing ourselves with stifled laughter as he was still getting shouted at by his mum and trying to keep a straight face while watching the girl outside like the rest of us.
she finally finished and pulled her knickers up, wiping her face at the same time with her piss covered hands. she then went and planted her hands on hte boyfriends pace and planted a massive french kiss on him while he was grabbing her wet backside…little did he know.
the phone call ended as they walked off and we could all now burst out laughing….we were still in the car 20 minutes later trying to compose ourselves…

Bultaco Sherpa trials bikes had the neat trick of running backwards if you kicked them over if the motor had stopped TDC,

Oh yes, I had that happen to me a couple of times (not in a trial though!)
The engine sounded odd though when it went backwards, probably to do with the timing being a bit ‘out’. 🙂

I had 5 Sherpas!

When I worked in the textile industry many moons ago we had an angry maintenance man with an incredibly short fuse. He was working on the tenter one day. Every time he stood up he kept catching the back of his head on a valve handle.

He finally lost it at us all laughing at him. He picked up a hammer and in a rage he hit the handle with it. The hammer bounced back and hit him in the forehead. He went utterly ballistic, just shouting incoherently and lashing out with his feet. A full on toddler style tantrum from a grown man. You probably had to be there, but three of us doubled up laughing and pointing at him. Still tickles me now.

Bike-related, so hopefully not breaking any unwritten rules…

In the car park at Aston Hills, a mate decided he needed to adjust the yokes on his Manitou dual-crown fork to relax the head-angle a little. Once he’d loosened the bolts, pushed the fork legs down a bit and re-tightened the bolts he set off at full pelt to jump off a small bank. As he pumped the face of the bank the fork-legs shot up through the yokes, the bottom yoke stopped the front wheel dead and he shot over the bars and over the bank head-first. Awesome.

Landed at Darwin, in the Falkland Islands, to what I thought was an air raid, but found out it was due to the biggest pig I had ever seen scratching it’s arse on an unexploded 1,000 lb bomb, which it did at 1pm every day. Two days later they had Ordinance Corps “Make it safe”.
So at 11am charges were set and we were given “preparing to fire”. One of the lads just started laughing and pointing, we followed his line and saw this huge pig getting it on with a Sow, We were all creased now. “Firing” BOOM. Sow bolted one way, pig tried to bolt other, but could only hobble very very slowly with a very funny mince. Still makes me giggle now.

Three thirteen year old boys at the funfair. Walking past the spinning Mexican hat ride.
I saw something hit the ground in front of me and stopped walking.
One of my friends didn’t stop and was absolutely covered in vomit coming from the spinning ride.
I still wet myself now , thinking about that one.

I used to work in a factory. The toilets were pretty poor and all the cubicles seats were made out of very thin, soft plastic. Many were damaged.

There was a large gent’ who worked on the shop floor. He went into one of the cubicles at lunchtime and we didn’t see him for hours. When someone went to investigate they found he was still in the cubicle.

Anyway – it turned out he had sat down to ‘read his paper’ and the toilet seat, which had a big split in it, had opened up and grabbed his large flabby behind. So effective was it that he couldn’t stand up – and when Site Services came to extract him they couldn’t open the door because he FILLED the cubicle and the door wouldn’t open far enough for them to help him while he was sat on the throne!

Eventually they dismantled the entire row of cubicles, extracted our man and sent him to hospital to get the toilet seat removed from his arse and a large row of stitches put in place plus a course of anti-biotics….

He never lived it down and left the business shortly after returning to work 😆

Space cadet camp back in the day. Entire camp (some 60 yoofs) lined up on parade being yelled at by some d1ck of a part-time Warrant Officer who was the most officious prick ever.

This was day 1 of the camp so there’s always a bit of ear bashing anyway.

Mid rant he moves backwards about 5 paces, and falls over a raised drain cover (3 bricks high, 4ft square). Cue 60 teenagers pissing themselves laughing on parade, and no respect for him for the remainder of the camp. He deserved it tbh.

Or it could be the “when’s it due?” conversation I’ve seen a colleague have twice (with different women)… Second one merely replied “I’m just fat”. First one cried. A lot. :lolcopter:

Drunkish bloke getting off a night bus near stockport. Pulling his jumper over his head while walking along the pavement; smack straight into a bus stop/lamppost.

Bloke took his shoes off to paddle accross a ford with his toddler on his shoulders and threw them to the other side of the river. 2nd one missed the bank and floated away. He seemed to find it funny too despite it being winter.