I just stumbled across this review on the Wickes web site for laminate flooring, it made me chuckle:

Pros: easy to fit with 3″ nails
Cons: mistaken for real logs-had to buy new woodburner
“These planks look like the real thing!
I ripped out all the floorboards from the second floor of my mother-in-laws bungalow while she was in hospital and replaced them with these look-a-like boards. Unfortunately I am colour blind and had actually fitted them upside down so they are now a bit slippery, but we use the underlay that came with them for little mats.
Mother-in-law was so pleased when she came back home,she cried for 40 mins non stop! She has now gone into a CareHome as she found it difficult staying upright pottering around her bungalow,bless.
Helpful advice- website states flooring is for busy areas, don’t be fooled, we live in a quiet cul-de-sac and they work just as well.
Expert tip- After taking up floorboards, throw unwanted items into the void, you’ll never know when the lady of the house might want them again. Mother-in-law thinks she has lost her jewellery, family photos and money, but I know where they are for safe keeping; “

anyone else found any off-beat reviews?

In a Hong Kong magazine, the review of the Michael Caine re-make of The Quiet American read, “Have you ever met one?” ..

Not the review itself, but the response from the owner, Zeb at Chalet Montana

Montana review

I looked up this old favourite on Amazon. Review of a Peter Andre CD:

I was persuaded to purchase this record by my best friend Abdullah on the basis that it had cured his asthma. The story went that Abdullah had become more and more breathless as the album raged on, until finally during the penultimate track ‘I’ve Had The Time Of My Life’ Abdullah quite involuntarily let out a harrowing scream of pleasure and collapsed in a frenzy of fluid. From the moment Abdullah awoke in hospital it was discovered that his chronic asthma had completely subsided, leaving him with lungs ‘comparible to that of a 2 year old dolphin’ according to the duty nurse.

On listening to the album myself, I am inclined to believe Abdullah’s story. I had barely made it through the intitial 30 seconds of ‘a Whole new World’ before I was forced to pause the record and take a shower. I had sweated so much that my many tattoos had faded to nothing and my hair had bleached itself white.

The impact this record will have on our world is comparible only to penicillin. Katie has the voice of a young Marvin Gaye, whilst Peter sounds like the smell of a new born baby. Separately, they are peerless – together, they are what an orgasm would look like if it were human.

There’s loads on Amazon

Amazon gold

happened to see the veet one last weekend, crying at some of them

How about the OXO tower ?

From the Leicester Mercury:

Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross

And then just follow the links to loads of other stuff with similar reviews.

from the Paul Ross Box Canvas Print (my favourite):

Don’t buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn’t stopped crying for a week.

I also love the Pam St Clement Box Canvas Clock

And the Russ Abbott Tea Towel

I stumbled upon this one on wiggle last year. 🙂

http://www.wiggle.co.uk/speedo-classic-aquashort-1/

“Firstly, I’m a handsome man. I’m blessed with looks. I bought these for two reason;
a) Flaunt around the edge of the pool and hang around in my man cave; the sauna at my local swimming baths.
b) To swim in the local baths.
They’re well made. Small…but well made. This is great if you have fantastic quads. Luckily, I do. There’s a thicker material around the ‘biscuits’ area too. This is both good and bad; let me explain.
Good: for those of you with ‘little biscuits’, it’ll firm the area and like an optical illusion, make the hot zone look full, firm and fertile.
Bad: if you have ‘big biscuits’, it’ll detract from my…sorry, *your* fantastic quads and ripped midriff. The area will resemble a set of well presented potatoes and and a coiled industrial garden hose. You’d better get used to the gasps and occasional female blackout. Women will want to rub them (the shorts, not your potatoes), I’ve dubbed my pair the “Genie’s lamp”. They’re robust…they can handle an abrasive rub.
Also, when strutting from the male/female changing rooms, in my experience it’s advisable to mime the lyrics to WHAM! – Club Tropicana to get you in the correct frame of mind. This is my only complaint; the Classic Aquashort (Genie’s lamp) doesn’t come with a laminated lyric sheet for the aforementioned song. For the amateur Mack Daddy, you’re not expected to know the lyrics. This is a slight oversight. You buy these shorts, you start on the road towards becoming a Mack Daddy. Deal. With. It.
Thanks for reading. I also have sensational glutes and perfectly aligned areolas.
All together now:
Let me take you to the place
Where membership’s a smiley face,
Brush shoulders with the stars.
Where strangers take you by the hand,
And welcome you to wonderland –
From beneath their panamas….”
Pros:
Durable, Attractive, Comfortable, Good Fit, irresistible, wipe clean, strong, tempting, enticing, mouth-watering, alluring
Cons:
Not Enough Features, Limited Color Choices, no pink?, no lyrics

Was looking for veggie restaurant in Hull last week – found one that sounded great (although turned out to be closed on the night we were there) – they cooked a different all-you-can-eat buffet each night. If you’re the first to book any particular night then you get to choose the theme for that night. Nice. Loads of glowing reviews on trip advisor except for one grumpy bloke who’d gone there with his wife and some other women and seemed upset that at veggie restaurant served veg. He was particularly affronted at paying “£19 per head for what is effectively plants”

also…