”your budgies head fell off?!”

”yeah. he was pretty old.”

you’re all fart and no poo..

Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t think they exist- Argh!

Do these balloons blow up in to funny shapes?

No, not unless round is funny.

Raising Arazona

“f*ck you San Diego”

“Of course, San Diego is German for “whale’s vagina”

or anything else from Anchorman 🙂

So many good ones there, This is one of my faves though from Dirty Harry. Not sure how long it will stay up but here goes . . .

[Harry Callahan has to explain why he shot a man]
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the b@st@rd. That’s my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher’s knife and a h@rd-on, I figure he isn’t out collecting for the Red Cross!
[walks out of the room]
The Mayor: He’s got a point.

“I’m a Derek, and Dereks don’t run.”

[of Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen]

“I’d have put money on him being one of them gays”
“No, he’s not, but I bet he helps them out when they’re busy.”

“Ah-ha, missed both my legs”

Flaperon, I read the whole thread and then you went and posted it, you sod.

some good uns, but you’re all wrong, it’s:

“they call me the HipHopopotamus, my rhymes are bottomless………………….”

best 1 liner ever

“it’s been emotional”
I prefer Lock Stock to Snatch any day.

“they call me the HipHopopotamus, my rhymes lyrics are bottomless………………….”

Even better when you get the quote right….! 😉

Hmmm. Steve……

ha fair play capt!

Also, from the same outfit…

“He’s gonna wake up in a smoothie!”

Blazing Saddles: “Excuse me while I whip this out”

Red Dwarf:

Rimmer: Step up from blue alert to red alert.
Kryten: Are you absolutely sure, sir? It does mean changing the bulb…

+1 and

They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.

The Royle Family,Barbara and Jim are watching “Changing Rooms” on the tv.She mentions Lawrence Llelwellen Bowen and stencilling,Jim says “Stencil,my arse!”,”In fact there’s nothing more he’d like to do than stencil my arse!”.

EVERYTHING R Lee Ermey says in Full Metal Jacket

Most of Blazing Saddles

Ash in Army of Darkness:

Duke Henry: You Sir, are not one of my vassals… who are you?
Ash: Who wants to know?
Duke Henry: I am Henry the Red. Duke of Shale, Lord of the Northlands and leader of its peoples.
Ash: Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things, right now: Jack and shit… and Jack left town.