Rambling/sharing

Arrived nice and early at the airport to head off on holiday a couple of weeks back. Nice lady at check-in pointed out I didn’t have a return ticket (was waiting to confirm some work stuff before booking) and as I was a brit on a British passport I needed a rtn ticker to get into NZ… Apart from I am an Australian resident and that covers it. Apart from they don’t put a sticker in your passport anymore… Agreed I’d probably be fine and got a note on the ticket saying it was my fault if I’m not allowed in (my cost to get home) short hop to Melbourne done and time for passport control, heaps of problems getting the passport to scan but eventually checked and waved through all fine.

Awesome holiday though nothing more of it, booked return flight and turn up at the lovely and tiny Rotorua airport this morning (30 mins before the check in staff) getting checked in and scans the passport, there is a problem sir…
Has my visa/resident proof handy but that’s not enough, she has to go phone Canberra, 5 mins later back for more details – there are a few Michael Smith’s in the world.
A long long 5 mins and I’ve sent my mate to get some tea. It appears Mr Smith that you didn’t leave Australia how did you get here? (they still haven’t turned on airport WiFi so it’s scrabbling round to get the flight number) another 10 mins passes (thankfully it’s 100m from check in to the plane and no security for domestic (it’s OK bro is NZ) she finally comes back still no record but there is an official government override code that gets me out of their airport.

Fast forward to Sydney immigration kiosk doesn’t work, lots of inquisitive looks at the desk, off to the other desk, do you have your old boarding passes? Nope ah, flight numbers? Yeah lots more tapping of the keyboard all all seems fine. Just a bit more stress than I really need.

But to make it all better taking the bike through quarantine the nice lady asked if I was part of that big bike event up north, what the one in cairns? The world cup?

I’ve always found NZ immigration/customs super helpful. Did you steam clean your tyres before bringing it in to the country? They’re deadly serious about bio-security.

Yeah that was all easy… Nz were fine just seems like lots of lost paperwork this end

Did you get any riding in a Taupo? Was up there at Easter and it was awesome. If your ever over in Wellington i’ll happily show you some of the trails 🙂

Not this time, just having a chilled out time in Rotorua, next trip will be the road trip picking up a few more places or crankworx

You should have just given those Immigration people cash, that’s how it works in Africa when they raise some vague and spurious objection to something in my passsport.

I missed my flight out of Auckland this time last year..

The old fella at the help desk advised that I should just stay in NZ 🙂

You should have just given those Immigration people cash, that’s how it works in Africa when they raise some vague and spurious objection to something in my passsport.

You have something for mee?

“breathe”

You have something for mee?

We have to do a course on this at work every year.

“I’m prevented by law from paying a facilitation payment”

Like that’s going to work when you’re staring down the wrong end of a gun at a checkpoint in the middle of nowhere…

I was leaving a dump in central Africa, trying to get on an internal flight to the capital. It was a diamond area, btw. The local greaser accompanied me. The security lady inspected my bag in her office. At intervals the greaser placed local banknotes on her desk. She got to the point of squeezing out toothpaste from my wash bag when the pile of notes became thick enough. She grabbed the lot and stuffed it into her bra, marked my bag and I was on my way home.

“What washing powder to remove toothpaste from bra cups ?”

You should have just given those Immigration people cash, that’s how it works in Africa when they raise some vague and spurious objection to something in my passsport.

Workmates flew into Pt Harcourt, to be met by the fixer, a big man in the military there. An immigration chappie tried to stop them and extract some cash. Big man decked him.

‘What washing powder’ – this was tropical africa, yonks ago. Soap a bucket, and a convenient rock more like.

“”I’m prevented by law from paying a facilitation payment”

Like that’s going to work when you’re staring down the wrong end of a gun at a checkpoint in the middle of nowhere…”

Personal safety payments they are called now in that situation 😉 we are not permitted to bribe or pay our way through but if we feel our safetys threatened….. according to the courses anyway.

The only time i would ever have had to put it into practice none of us were carrying anything like enough money….. luckily they were trying to intimidate us by taking us to another room and shouting at us in russian about visas.- and laughing amongst them selfs at how they were going to get a good pay off of us…at which point my non russian russian speaking mate pipes up in russian…. “you know i understand everything you just said” …..and we were on our way.

Years ago i arrived in Auckland and when asked where i was staying I couldn’t answer because I didnt know. Anyway he filled in an address and gave me a list of addresses for hostels and a run down of wjat each was like (party, long term, central, cheap etc.) immigration come tourist guide- grear welcome to a country.

You want real issues? Fly anywhere with Ryan Air.

Crossed from Mexico to Guatemala about 20 years ago. Nice soldier type asked me for $20. I asked him why and he pointed his gun at me and replied because I want it. He got his $20. I miss those days.

Fly anywhere with Ryan Air.

Id rather walk…

Still all home and relaxed now, no bribery needed. NZ were really helpful getting me out of the country.