Apparently Shimano modulation is supposed to be improved in recent models?
My 785 XT’s, my mates’ and also his Zees modulate well so long has you don’t grab a handful. The lever feel is different to my old Avids though and they need a softer touch the way I have mine set. They do lock more easily if provoked.
If you’re over fond of your brakes then reducing rotor is simply going to make them get hotter. I’m still working on getting fear braking out of my ride. I still find myself pulling the lever when I didn’t mean to sometimes. If tyres are fine and weight placement sorted etc, then wet and slippy shouldn’t be the end.
In skiing, this sort of thing is handled by loading and unloading the outer edges with your heels in an alternating fashion, thereby controlling speed while pointing straight Downhill so you have the control to turn out at the end. I think it would take epic riding skills to translate this to a bike though without it becoming a pump motion and actually accelerating you…