Viewing 30 posts - 41 through 70 (of 70 total)
  • Friday ramblings: When was the last time you had a massive benny?
  • zippykona
    Full Member

    Every time I turn on a **** computer.

    Alex
    Full Member

    Not so much nowadays but in my london-commuting time a few years ago… I was walking WALKING over the Bayswater road zebra crossing pushing my bike when a red Porsche barely moderated his speed as he whisked past my face at about 30 MPH. Coming to a stop some 30 yards later as it was rush hour traffic. So not only had he tried to kill me, he’d done it so for the sole purpose of queuing a bit more quickly.

    I was upset. Really very, very upset. Jumped on the bike, rolled up along side now trapped homocidal maniac. Opened door. Ranted, received plummy counter rant. Went ‘full yorkshire’ and in a moment of genius/stupidity, grabbed his car keys and rode off before he could react. Then saw a drain. And did a very, very bad thing.

    He ran after me but a) he was fat and b) I was accelerating at high speed – still swearing although it’d morphed into a wild cackle by this time.

    Arrived at work. Explained the whole episode to my colleagues expecting back-slapping affirmations of sticking it to the man. Most of them just backed away quietly wondering aloud if any proper medical practitioners had been informed of my issues 🙂

    Bregante
    Full Member

    About three months back.

    I was 4/5 the way through what ended up being a 26 hr shift at work and urgently needed a small test doing on a “substance”. I was told by the person who needed to do it that I’d have to wait an hour because they were about to go on their break.

    It was past 2 in the morning and my team and I hadn’t stopped for around 20hrs so I asked if they could delay the break for the 10 mins that it would take them to do the test.

    ” No – it’s my union regulations. I’m entitled to take my hour you see and if I don’t take it now I might not get it back”

    After trying to calmly explain to them that everything was being held up by a simple test that only they could do, the person stood up and walked away while giving me a hand gesture as if to say “I’ve done talking to you”.

    I had to be physically restrained.

    bigyinn
    Free Member

    Im calmer now, but ten years ago, due to a slightly different life situation, it was a semi regular occurrence. Aided by twin late teen step sons.

    #1 Walked into the bathroom and slid across the floor whilst falling backwards onto my arse because some moron hadnt put a bathmat down and mopped up the water from the floor. Picked myself up before cursing and swearing before punching a hole though the staircase panelling.

    #2 Kicking the (already broken) backdoor window because some idiot had gone out without taking his key and then smashed the glass to let himself back in, depsite calling us and being told we would be home in 45 minutes after having been out for a nice romantic meal.

    #3 Losing the plot with a Canon printer. I’d just loaded a new ink cartridge in the bloody thing and the print was a bit screwy. To align the print heads you had to use a Win XP or older machine to do it, as the later versions didnt include this functionality. So plugged it into an old XP laptop, had to re-load the software (which took 40minutes to download). Connected the printer up only to be confronted with a “please check unrecognised cartridge”. Despite removing and refitting the cart it wouldnt work. So Nearly 90 mins after trying to print something I snapped, ripped the printer out of the PC, marched downstairs and hirled the printer out of the backdoor, smashing it to pieces. GOD that felt good!

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    Alex I did similar to to a bloke once when riding my motorbike. Inly I missed the drain in my rage..doh

    funkrodent
    Full Member

    imnotverygood – Member
    When I was a motorbike courier in the West End

    Great thread this. Did 9 months on a pushbike in London in 1990. Lowest of the low, taxi/bus drivers tried to kill us, even the motorbike guys hated us. But the worst though was White Van Man. So this benny isn’t about me, but about a specific WVM. Somewhere in Shoreditch. Traffic moving slowly, lane in each direction. Me moving with traffic. WVM waiting to pull out and pulls right in front of me, forcing a swerve into the oncoming lane. Fortunately nothing coming. Pulled up next to him to start a frank exchange of opinions, he spits at me and winds up window. Traffic had halted at this point and fortunately I had my d-lock to hand which I used to smash his front light. Happily he left the van at that point, screaming murderous somethings and proceeded to chase me down the road. I was easily able to outdistance him, but went slow enough to give him enough hope that by the time the traffic started moving again, he was easily 100 yards from his van with a big line of cars behind him all leaning on their horns. I watched him run back and then beat a hasty retreat down a couple of alleys before taking the rest of the day off 😀

    anagallis_arvensis
    Full Member

    Alex I did similar to to a bloke once when riding my motorbike. Inly I missed the drain in my rage..doh

    Alex
    Full Member

    @aa – disappointing. It’s ten years ago but I can still see the final glint of the leather backed keying disappearing into the London sewers 🙂

    @FR – I’m not proud to say that whenever a man in a van decided today was his day to kill a cyclist, a swift D-lock to the mirror housing use to shatter the glass. In our defence, it was pretty gladiatorial but we were pretty militant. I did use to enjoy that white-hot righteous anger when someone cut you up!

    Coyote
    Free Member

    Has anyone ever phoned Her Majesties Revenue and Customs?

    Many, many times trying to get (IMHO) a simple error sorted. 2 years. 2 ***** years!!! It’s a miracle I didn’t either explode with incandescent rage killing myself and those around me or implode with sheer frustration leaving nothing left of myself but an outline of my aura.

    pictonroad
    Full Member

    Hurled the house printer out of the back door the other day. Momentary moment of satisfaction inmediaty replaced by regret. The never used scanning function included a sheet of extra splintery glass.

    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU……

    Cougar
    Full Member

    Not me and not strictly on topic, but the printer anecdotes remind me of a tale a mate used to tell.

    At the time, they worked in an office a few floors up. If memory serves, it was an Apple Centre, back in the days when Apple still occupied normal buildings rather than shopping centre showhomes built from chome, glass and customers’ bodily fluids.

    They had an old LaserJet printer which was just a shell, all the gubbins removed. It was held together inside with brown parcel tape. When visitors came round, one of them would shout “that bloody printer!”, leap up, grab it and hoy it out of the window to humorous effect. Afterwards, they’d tape it back up and put it back ready for the next victim.

    brocks
    Free Member

    Not my bennie but mate of mine had the misfortune to once live next to the towns meat head. Would often come home after work to listen to the Neanderthal arguing with his long suffering other half she gave him as good as she got. One night after a couple of hours banging swearing her screaming, the sound of smashing glass and a dull thud it all wet quiet apart from a few grunts of someone out the back. After much debating mate and his mrs dared to look out round edge of curtains couldn’t make out anything so went to look from upstairs, turned out meathead had lost it big style picked up the sofa and chucked it through back window. She went mad kicked him out so sulking he was sat on sofa drinking a beer!

    orangeorange
    Free Member

    Pretty bittersweet this,laughing at the stories then realising that this whole thread could by snippets from my life this year alone.On the plus-side I do have my own office now !
    But seriously I do need to calm down a bit,when you’re regularly contemplating /fantasising about maiming people its probably time to get help isn’t it ?

    somafunk
    Full Member

    Only done it once,

    Back in 1998 i worked for Gates Power Transmissions in Dumfries as a mech engineer, only 6 months out of college and first proper job where i was earning stupid amounts of money (£36k/year which is 3x what i earn now). Big meeting with the managers/dept heads and a couple of european bosses. It tuns out i was in the firing line to be blamed for a terminal incident with a very expensive pre-production test-bed engine from a sports car manufacturer and it was catagorically 100% my direct superiors fault but as i was the new kid on the block he thought he could pin all the blame on me in front of everyone.

    I flipped as he was a right weasly arse sucking slime ball of a person and a total **** so i reeled of exactly what had happened in front of all around the table, I told him exactly what i thought of him using mostly expletives then promptly walked round to where he sat open mouthed and smacked him so hard he fell over backwards and as i left the room i shouted I **** quit

    Needless to say i was eventually up on an assault charge but it never got as far as court.

    I’ve been a good boy at my various work places since.

    bikebouy
    Free Member

    I very very rarely loose it, very rare occurrence.

    Often work issues rattle my eyeballs, make my temples pulse a bit.. But I’m one of the quiet types at work, you know the type.. Get frustrated, hold it all in, calm as a millpond on a windless day and yet no one actually sees the ripe current flowing underneath to drag you in.
    Been a habit of mine, sort of built a layer of nonchalance and exude a resilient exterior, kind of why I’ve done so well in my working career I guess.

    I do loose my temper, I kind of blow out once in a while, snap, blast, short, nasty then it’s all over. A thunderstorm in my own Southern Ocean, one minute there, next gone and the sun comes out.

    My balance to all this tidal undertow is a simple one. I ride bikes.

    Simple machines, stunning landscapes, breathing hard, spinning legs, tight grip on the right shifter the relax whilst the left takes over and a strong pulse making every stroke count and harder than the previous one. A saving level of Tarmac, spin out and regulate the heartbeat, dig in and do it all over again until the pressure in my ears can take no more and pace off… Then grind, grind like I’m in my own ITT…

    It’s how I cope.

    No need to take it out on anyone.

    Just ride bikes 8)

    ourmaninthenorth
    Full Member

    I never do this at work, it’s completely unprofessional and a sure fire way to be top of the list for being ignored (at best) or fired (at worst).

    I dunno. I used to work for a chap who usually made the thick end if a million quid every year as a partner in one if the world’s largest law firms. In a moment of apparent calm we felt brave enough to gift him a stuffed toy of a Tazmanian Devil.

    He’s the same person who once left a shotgun leaning against his secretary’s desk. I don’t think I was the only one who decided that working from home that afternoon might not be a bad option….

    loddrik
    Free Member

    Don’t really lose my temper anymore although a few months ago a driver apparently didn’t like the way I was riding my bike and decided to show my by trying to force me into some roadside railings. I caught up with him at the lights and tried to open his door to remove him from his vehicle. Upon realising the door was locked I proceeded to kick **** out of the door.

    I’m not proud of myself but I’m sure he won’t do it to any cyclists any time soon.

    aracer
    Free Member

    I posted about it here – I think this was the most recent complete benny
    http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/selfish-pedestrians-on-shared-use-paths
    (yes I suppose I was a little economical with my description of my eventual reaction 😳 )

    thegreatape
    Free Member

    I don’t lose the tatty with people, but I do with things sometimes. Most recently the fancy swipe card doors at work, which often don’t latch properly leaving the brand new police station insecure for ISIS and whoever to come and behead us, or whatever it is they’re paranoid about. Everyone knows the only way to deal with such a door is to slam it harder and harder. Fortunate nobody saw me doing it when about a square metre of render fell off the wall.

    chestercopperpot
    Free Member

    @ perchypanther

    Yup that’s my experience, most site meetings particularly on big contracts, daily battles with contractors the odd punch-up, stare downs, language always fruity to say the least and threats common place. Lost count of the amount of verbal and physical altercations I’ve been involved in and witnessed.

    The Cadburys village retirees on here would probably be surprised this is how it goes down in the real world, especially where big money is involved (property/construction), theres no room for shrinking violets or high horses.

    squirrelking
    Free Member

    Not had one recently, in fact I can’t really remember the last time I had a proper blind rage hissy fit. Probably for the best, I was doing it far too often and usually it was my missus taking the brunt. I still have the odd rant but have stopped kicking lumps out of inanimate objects. Which is nice.

    Definitely not proud and not much of a funny side to mine if I’m honest.

    Throwing the keys down the drain made me laugh though, been tempted to do similar in the past (though I’d prefer to throw them in some bushes, gives them hope they might find them sometime in the next week :P)

    scaredypants
    Full Member

    This morning! Drove around a corner to see a white van turning right [out of a junction on my left] straight in front of me.
    He stopped to inform me that the near collision was, apparently, my fault – I disagreed strongly.

    you know that was your fault though, right ?

    konabunny
    Free Member

    My old landlord was digging up my back garden and found a wedding ring with initials and a date in 1953. Someone had obviously had a massive benny and chucked it out an overlooking flat window, and never found it 🙁

    wallop
    Full Member

    Life’s too short, man 😆 8)

    shifter
    Free Member

    bikebouy – Member

    I very very rarely loose it, very rare occurrence.

    I do loose my temper, I kind of blow out once in a while, snap, blast, short, nasty then it’s all over.

    IT’S LOSE FFS, LOSE!
    HOW DIFFICULT IS THAT TO UNDERSTAND??

    peterfile
    Free Member

    The Cadburys village retirees on here would probably be surprised this is how it goes down in the real world, especially where big money is involved (property/construction), theres no room for shrinking violets or high horses.

    The floors I work on (the ones where no one raises their voices…i.e. Cadburys Village ) are filled with all the directors of one of the largest construction companies in the world. Suppose being able to control yourself and make yourself heard without throwing a wobbler is a prerequisite to getting to those jobs.

    dannyh
    Free Member

    [video]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=shn95skiEKg[/video]

    I’ve never really lost it at work. It’s more just bottling it up, head in hands and deep breaths for a minute, then knuckling under again and doing what I can with minimal help. You never know, though. I could just do a ‘Falling Down’ some day soon.

    ononeorange
    Full Member

    Do all you drivers spend your whole time shouting and screaming at each other? That’s why there are so many people knocked off bikes I suppose. So many of these stories are about driving, it’s quite sad.

    Sandwich
    Full Member

    Suppose being able to control yourself and make yourself heard without throwing a wobbler is a prerequisite to getting to those jobs.

    It also ensures that you get a chance at the next contract. Everyone wants an easy life at work and histrionics have no place in dangerous environments.

    Xylene
    Free Member

    I email myself the angry emails I would send or say to people, and read them later in the day or next day to see how angry I still am.

    This works well, until you send the angriest of emails to a member of staff who has just handed in their resignation to you.

    That went down well.

    Dug myself out of that one by showing him half a dozen I had never sent to him and others.

Viewing 30 posts - 41 through 70 (of 70 total)

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